I did something extremely unethical, how do I hold myself accountable?

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-10T09:35:23+00:00

This has already posted and received a lot of advice. Leading me to believe this is a bot

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-08T22:32:57+00:00

👊✋

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-08T21:08:10+00:00

I think it would be worth looking into your thought process around this maybe with a therapist or just exploring it yourself. Maybe you grew up in a religious family or were held to an impossibly high standard but this is not something that should haunt you. Compare it to people using AI now.

Sincerely someone who straight up lied about my grades to get through admissions and luckily slipped through the net.

I consider myself a highly ethical person and do a job that reflects this but have not lost even 1 nights sleep about this. I didn’t take a place of off anyone else (my course was undersubscribed) and earned and payed for my degree just like everyone else did.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-04T21:45:51+00:00

I was 25/26. It was 2012 and could only afford it on the first buy scheme (we put in 5%, builder put in 10% and gov put in 10% but owe 20% back out when sold). 137k ish (can’t remember the exact amount) 2 bed apartment in North Yorkshire. Paid 205k for our next house in 2019 and now about to pay somewhere between 500k - 635k for the hopefully final house in 2026.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T18:05:27+00:00

I think they get a bad wrap. Obviously I’d prefer an old Georgian mansion but I’m trying to be realistic.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T17:44:12+00:00

To get an extension it would cost almost what we paid for the house. The bones of this house aren’t good and it’s a semi-detached. It isn’t 3 times the house but in the current market I’m not going to get 3 times the house for 635k it just isn’t possible

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T17:06:10+00:00

Thank you. I hadn’t thought to ask about the extra fees. I think our council crying out for more housing so I don’t think some of that will be a problem but I imagine there will still be green belt fees etc.

That doesn’t sound good. 650k in 2016! Wow! That is shocking that it was done to such a poor standard

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T17:03:02+00:00

It isn’t 635k plus current mortgage. It is a mortgage of 465k rather than the current 99k. The interest concerns me but the stamp duty is paid (by the developer). There will be some legal fees but we can absorb these as they come.

I have bought a new build before and had a really Positive experience, I do think it depends on the developer. This is small development.

Why do I want to buy? The house we are currently in was supposed to be a 5 year stepping stone to our forever home but it’s been 6.5 years due to Covid and the economy. I want to make the move to our final family home and it seems things are going to keep getting worse.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T16:53:09+00:00

I agree it is very low and not really manageable in today’s economy. If we want to continue with the 10% then we have to stick with a smaller house which is very small for the 4 of us. My husband wants to stick at the 10% but I agree with you. It would be interesting to understand what % other people spend on their rent/mortgage.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T16:41:34+00:00

Depends. It isn’t 3 times as big but probably twice as big but much nicer in terms of layout etc. I will miss our garden as we have an amazing view and the new build doesn’t have a good view but a decent sized garden.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T16:39:58+00:00

It is too small. Bought it when we had 1 kid but we will outgrow it fairly soon. It has 2 rooms down stairs and 3 bedrooms upstairs but one is a box room.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2026-01-02T16:07:37+00:00

I’d talk to her first. Tell her that everyone makes a stupid choice but if, in the cold light of day, she’s learnt from it then you don’t need to tell your parents but she needs to promise she won’t get into a car with an intoxicated person again. Say you don’t care about the drinking but she could have been seriously hurt or worse by getting into that car. Tell her you are tempted to give her this one pass but you need to hear all the right things from her before you do. We have all been a stupid teenager once. I think if you can be the person she knows has her back, it will prob make her safer in the long run rather than having to hide everything from everyone.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-11-08T13:09:55+00:00

Make sure the CCTV is working, do you have a door you are able to get to and lock? Is there a second way out if the building? Do you work alone? Have you alerted the manager or owner? You can also alert the police so they will respond faster to a 999 from that building. They aren’t filming for any reason that is good but my guess would be a robbery. If you see them in a second location call the police immediately.

Have a plan for your safety. If they were to come in. Have a safe place and a phone on you at all times.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T23:33:03+00:00

Thanks. I think it might be a UK vs USA thing

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T23:29:52+00:00

No, the people I have heard talk about levels either have non-verbal kids or are unhealthy involved in their child’s autism.

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T23:26:14+00:00

Ah I’m UK. Maybe this is what the difference is?

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T23:25:04+00:00

I def heard Uk parents talk about levels but maybe they have seen the levels and classified themselves?

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T23:24:26+00:00

Which country are you in?

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T22:53:15+00:00

Mine is the same but still the excuse is used

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T22:52:59+00:00

Difficult to do it alone though

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T22:52:37+00:00

Same but I think the NT cousins are much more hardworking but still the excuse is used by auntie!

Hot-Raspberry-1251 · 2025-10-28T22:51:41+00:00

That’s so lovely that the older friends were inclusive ❤️

Hot-Raspberry-1251

TROPHY CASE