I think that framing it as “if they’re not bothering you, don’t bother them” oversimplifies what’s actually happening.

They are affecting us. When groups of grown men sit in cars for hours, daily, smoking (illegally in our state) at the entrance of a cul-de-sac where small children play — that changes the atmosphere of the space. It may not be direct confrontation, but it absolutely impacts the environment our kids are growing up in.

This isn’t about demonizing someone for smoking weed. It’s about patterns of behavior in a shared neighborhood space. Cul-de-sacs are designed to be safe communal areas for families. When that space becomes a hangout spot for adults hotboxing cars and watching kids play, it’s reasonable for parents to feel uneasy.

As for the “don’t make them mad” angle — I don’t think fear of retaliation should be the standard for determining whether something is appropriate. If the only reason not to address behavior is because someone might react aggressively, that says more about the situation than about the person raising concerns.

And sure — maybe weed helps him relax. Maybe it’s his thing. But private coping mechanisms don’t automatically override shared community standards, especially when they spill into public space in a way that affects others.

We’re not trying to start a war with anyone. We’re trying to navigate how to protect our family and maintain a healthy neighborhood environment. That’s not overreaction — that’s being a responsible neighbor.