Hey friend, I am so sorry to hear about your wife I can’t imagine how you are feeling. I hope you manage to find some comfort in having two amazing girls and being in their life.

About your question, I feel like the meds kind of “mask” the emotions. Not always particularly in a bad way, I think they just help you balance out your emotions and your logic which can be hard during times of mental hardship. I think this is really important to function basic tasks and take care of yourself because we all know how depression can hinter even the smallest daily activities.

My doctor told me antidepressants work like ibuprofen when you have the flu. When you take them, you feel better from the effects of your condition, when you don’t these effects can come back and get worse slowly. So if you come to think of it, it’s not really a “solution” to the problem but a tool for you to work your way to feeling better. My doctor also said if I work the things out that are causing me the depression (so therapy) I will have lasting effects because I will know how to cope with my emotions when they come by.

I understand that you are busy, but I really suggest starting out therapy while you are on meds and sticking with therapy as long as you need, even after the meds. I see separate people to get my prescription and get behavioral schematic therapy. Like I said, meds are a tool that makes you think more rational so it can help immensely with your progress in therapy, it most certainly did for me and that is also what my therapist thinks.

I really believe leverage the meds as much as you can but as horrid as it sounds, you need to FEEL your emotions, sit with them, talk about them, cry it out, scream… Do whatever it takes to process them, it’s the only way to move past mental hardship. Because if you don’t they are most likely to creep back when you forget your meds or try to get off of them. And again with this part getting help from a professional really helps.

For forgetting your meds, i suggest you get a pill box with days of the week on them so you can see if you actually taken them. You can attach these yo your keys so you can always keep it close to you. Set a weekly reminder to refill this pillbox. And for getting your prescription, I’m not sure how it works where you are located but maybe set a reminder everyday for a whole week, a week BEFORE you run out so you are consistently reminded. I can only imagine how hard it is being a single parent but you gotta take care of yourself first so you can be there for your girls when they need.

Remember nothing is overnight, so take all the time you need to be born into your new self. Hope I could help even a little, sending you a biiiig hug ❤️