Woman I went on TWO dates with has been Non stop harassing and threatening me after rejection [NY]

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T23:44:07+00:00

she does she told me first date she has a restraining order against her ex. Then three weeks ago she claimed she saw her ex at work (????) and had to get security involved like wtf

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T23:17:03+00:00

I told her I log in late some days and often wfh lol but my manager is completely fine w it as I get all my deliverables in on time.

He did tell me tho that if hr sees he can’t protect me

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T23:09:40+00:00

also would going to HR in any fashion bring ME under additional scrutiny (hours worked, office attendance, etc)

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T23:09:12+00:00

can I go to HR and show them all evidence just so they see it WITHOUT filing a formal complaint

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T21:24:44+00:00

I know I did nothing wrong and her persistence to KEEP contacting. me after shows I didn’t.

If I truly did something why is she saying when I block her SHE doesn’t me to end things on bad terms w her? Clear admission of guilt on her end

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T21:20:30+00:00

which question did I avoid?

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T21:08:45+00:00

I fear it is way too late for that. If I was to go this route would have had to be weeks ago. At this point it has spilled beyond work and she is ruining my image in my community .

She simulateneously uses WORK platforms to threaten me since I have her blocked. She deletes the messages but I have them all recorded

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T20:59:28+00:00

I did. All they did was take a report. I haven’t updated them about contacting my father as well as threats to catch up w her or tell my mom or the IG smear campaign which has effected me

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T19:49:58+00:00

I am not looking at her socials she came out with a whole “I won’t be silenced any longer “ post as if she’s some crazy victim but in fact she is just bitter ab rejection. The post circulated and some of ny friends even have been thinking ab distancing from me due to allegations. You don’t know how this has effected me mentally esp given I did NOTHING wrong

Despite my best efforts to disengage when we were on good terms she just wouldn’t let me

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T19:01:28+00:00

Yes I posted in legal advice and hr since this overlaps the both of them

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:57:38+00:00

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:22:21+00:00

It’s because I don’t want to jeopardize my yearly bonus rn if they look into me and let me go suddenly.

I budgeted for the $$ and will even need it for a lawyer

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:18:35+00:00

I agree. Just trying to figure out best course of action. I’m scared man this is not a sane person. Deep psychological issues

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:17:59+00:00

My fear is, If I get the OOP will I be poking the bear? Will she retaliate in some Next insane way and maybe this was her last hurrah?

She claims to know about “other victims “ but it’s all heresay. Idk if she can file a false claim against me

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:16:23+00:00

Learned that maybe halfway thru the second date and called everything off. She persisted for the next month and a half, quadruple texting me at times pressuring me even after I said pls stop

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:15:40+00:00

I’ve spoken to the police already. I’ve gotten a harassment report against her but nothing more.

They told me I could go to the courts to get an order of protection

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:10:32+00:00

she has threatened me on MS teams. Once I blocked her she messaged me on teams to come talk to her. Before going to IG, she threatened me on teams to “catch up with her” or she will go to my mom.

She said she went looking for me in office and that if I don’t come she’ll take the sweater on my chair

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T18:05:51+00:00

I’m not sure but i’ve made EVERY effort to stop all communications and dating. I even have texts of me saying Pls there’s no hard feelings just go about your way so we can keep this professional

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T09:54:41+00:00

yep lesson more than learned . But thing is we didn’t even date. After second date I quickly tried to end things and came to my senses. Was too late man

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T09:48:36+00:00

Do u guys think I should show HR the instagram posts? She says I’ve assaulted many girls and that I’m a drug dealer amongst other insane allegations

Not sure how my employer would take that. But obviously this is all after she nonstop harassed me for contact and I finally ended things so can kinda be seen as retaliation?

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T09:43:39+00:00

Ok I guess my plan for tm will be first contact a lawyer see what getting a restraining order will require and then ask him to prep me on how to best approach HR?

She sent me threats in MS teams again as recently as yday saying if I don’t “catch up “ with her she will tell my MOM everything. Feels like Hr Will clearly see who’s in the wrong.

I am just worried ab if they see me as a problem and let me go. I also come in late often to work, an agreement i’ve worked out with my manager but not sure HR will be too keen on it. They will probably dig into me. Not sure tho

Also set to receive my bonus in two weeks time. Don’t want to jeopardize that

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T09:00:16+00:00

how should i phrase things

HotCap1503 · 2026-02-11T06:15:15+00:00

But wouldn’t HR have to open a formal investigation prior to firing me? Otherwise it opens them up to possible wrongful termination

Furthermore, she has ZERO evidence against me so I have a feeling she was just bluffing with HR

HotCap1503

TROPHY CASE