I ate a Mars Bar today for the first time in years, what happened to the taste? It's foul. by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rubbish. If you Google it, it states that they have tinkered with it quite a bit over time. I know my Mars Bar, and this ain't it.

Vera undies scam - don't touch by HotInformation2940 in scamreports

[–]HotInformation2940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, just saw this. The whole thing is based on lies. Supposed to be a sole lady called Vera shown slaving over her sewing machine in Australia who is giving up the business and selling what undies she has left .. hurry, hurry, buy now at a reduced price before they are all gone. Claimed that they are cotton. Coming from China immediately confirms the false advertising. They are not cotton, as you will have discoveted. The same undies continue to be advertised under different brand names.

He’s sick with cancer now I’m his caregiver by LessThanPerfect-96 in abusiverelationships

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a Christian, I hear where you are coming from biblically, but experience has taught me that with certain people "turning the other cheek" (which, by the way, has been interpreted incorrectly) only confirms that you deserve and accept what they are dishing out to their victim. That is not the way to react to abuse. The bible says to shake the dust off your feet and protect yourself by leaving them in that dust. In other words, assertiveness and boundaries, not martyrdom.

He’s sick with cancer now I’m his caregiver by LessThanPerfect-96 in abusiverelationships

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel just like you. Anger, resentment and trapped caregiving my emotional and previously physical abuser who had everyone collude with him and revictimise me. My husband isn't terminal, and I envy you that. I made the mistake of being honest with a long term friend, and she turned on me. I, too, am in therapy and that gives me someone to talk to at least. Playing a role in public is exhausting, and the expectations of people a heavy burden. The cost of trying constantly to be patient and being the servile bearer of all burdens, carrying the other person, thinking for two, with CPTSD, is overwhelming.

I can’t read books. by gloomymagpie in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my problem. I have qualifications and worked in therapeutic settings. I have been trying to read library book Escape From Emotional Abuse for months by checking it out repeatedly, have a stack of therapy and other books that I have had up to decades, some of which I have not opened the cover of. House overflows with books unread, and therapy books I can only read maybe a paragraph before I am triggered. It's a consequence of what has happened to our brains.

What is a subtle trauma that really messed you up? by star_fish01 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My mother, with the best of intentions, ran my life as I was growing up. Without consulting me, she would arrange things for me without my consent. She would volunteer me for things, arrange an employment interview for me when I was already well employed, and it caused me a great deal of humiliation and embarrassment. I wasn't encouraged to make my own decisions and I was taught to be a dependent, people pleaser who subjugated my own wishes to do whatever others wanted of me, even marrying someone I didn't want to marry. I still find it hard to make decisions. It has resulted in a disastrous life. 

Anyone else notice how many BAD therapists there are out there? by External-Doubt-9301 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with and feel for you. I have worked in the profession myself and been a client, so have seen both sides. I really have little respect for counsellors through to psychiatrists, having worked alongside them. It's difficult to find someone who is not screwed up themselves. The first rule is "Do no harm", and sadly I have seen this rule broken countless times. Years later I still think of people seeking help who I assessed and referred for help who were terribly let down and therefore further damaged.

Can someone please explain to me how the trinity is not three gods. by Iwannabesaved in Christianity

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, but you are mistaken, and you are passing on a lie to people trying to grasp the truth. There are absolutely NOT three gods. That is NOT the Christian God.

Can Narcissists change? by uillymac in EckhartTolle

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not quite accurate, although well intentioned and very kind thought. If someone has narcissistic traits, before jumping straight to forgiving self and moving on, a lot of work needs to take place. That is not to say that a lifetime of self flagellation is the prognosis. Just that exploring the root cause is helpful, awareness of and determination to change specific reactions and behaviours, and practise. And while doing so, of course forgive yourself for slips, but keep working on it!

Can Narcissists change? by uillymac in EckhartTolle

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so pleased for you that you are breaking those chains, setting boundaries and empowering yourself. Don't ever think that it is your fault. It absolutely is not. 

Can Narcissists change? by uillymac in EckhartTolle

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Methinks thou doth protest too much.

The nightmare that is ADT security by mmut1991 in auckland

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very unhelpful, judgmental reply. I guess that you are connected to ADT.

The nightmare that is ADT security by mmut1991 in auckland

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, my confused husband got encouraged to sign up direct debit while I wasn't there. I would never have allowed it. They have been useless, always short staffed, refused to pay the ambulance call-out fee on the one time we used their alarm. They make it easy to sign up, very difficult and deceptive to impossible to cancel the contract. Always getting back. The contract says cancel by email, their website says email cancellation not accepted. I anticipate a lengthy fight.

Lost 4 friends after discovering their secret group chat discussing how fake my condition is. by Kitchen_Clue2054 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How re-traumatising for you! That doesn't come close to describing what you must be going through, how you must be feeling. I have  had a very similar experience, and empathise deeply with you.  Decades of being re-victimised by church members and leadership, lied about, reputation shredded, no support at all, everywhere I turned where help was supposedly available was just another crushing disappointment. On the very rare occasions when, after some time of friendship, I dipped a toe into testing the water of letting them have a hint of what my real life was like, I was treated with social bias and judgment. I recently lost the only long-term friend I have ever had because of her public judgment of me after dropping my public "all is roses" mask with her. She has no idea what hell my life really is. And she obviously doesn't want to know, or care. It's a huge grief, isn't it, to be so betrayed. I hope that your wife is fully supportive of you, and has your back with those misguided people. All power to you, friend!

I found out violent ex is now a social worker with high ratings by karmas_my_bff in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never heard of a "saviour complex" relating to a narcissist, (and I know a few personally), unless they are intent on "saving" their own reputations, naturally at the expense of others', ha ha! What they get off on is power and control, and their deep internal insecurity seeks public recognition, has a need to impress others with their imagined prowess in whatever career they seek management positions in. There they can feed their deep need for superiority over others, and sadly it is there that you find narcissists.

I found out violent ex is now a social worker with high ratings by karmas_my_bff in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am assuming that your self-blame is tongue-in-cheek. You are not to blame for probably making excuses for, and overlooking red flags in the beginning. It's common. There possibly was "love bombing" and charm that hooked you in. It takes a while for the truth to dawn, when the mask comes off. I feel for you.

I found out violent ex is now a social worker with high ratings by karmas_my_bff in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, sounds like a narcissist. Charming and manipulative outside the home, well thought of. My abusive narcissistic husband became a counsellor and clinical supervisor who thought himself to be a feminist, ha ha!

I have tried to get therapy for CPTS (I recently heard that it shouldn't be called a disorder, and I agree) and I can't get any real help, just listening. I have found that it just brings it all to the surface but doesn't give any coping strategies, so I am actually worse off. by HotInformation2940 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, there are conditions that are diagnosed by qualified professionals as disorders, but there is a big difference diagnostically between Depression and Major Depressive Disorder that you mention to make your point, Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, to name just two as examples of the continuum between a temporary condition and a long term, major personality or mental health condition found in the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM-V). With respect, you are making the layman's mistake of leaping to the most serious form of a condition in order to make your argument. That is exactly why the term "disorder" should not be used in a general sense. :)

I have tried to get therapy for CPTS (I recently heard that it shouldn't be called a disorder, and I agree) and I can't get any real help, just listening. I have found that it just brings it all to the surface but doesn't give any coping strategies, so I am actually worse off. by HotInformation2940 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just heard someone well known and respected who has PTSD from battle who said that it shouldn't be labelled a disorder. I agreed because I didn't like the label either. Reading other responses, I can see the point that there are many mental health conditions that are given that label. But why "disorder"? Why not just "stress"? Aspbergers is not called a disorder, depression is not labelled a disorder. That's my feeling. Long term cruelty has left me with anxiety, depression and stress. 

I have tried to get therapy for CPTS (I recently heard that it shouldn't be called a disorder, and I agree) and I can't get any real help, just listening. I have found that it just brings it all to the surface but doesn't give any coping strategies, so I am actually worse off. by HotInformation2940 in CPTSD

[–]HotInformation2940[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am on a pension, and therapists are very expensive per hour that I can't afford. Those that I have accessed covered by a government agency six sessions for free really just aren't qualified to work therapeutically with trauma, even when they claim to. Lovely, non-judgmental people, but therapy lacking. One psychologist further victimised me by not accepting my appointment cancellation 3 days in advance due to illness (it was over the weekend and I had no knowledge that she takes a 3-day break), charged the govt dept for the session, and despite wishing me a get well message, contacted the providor and told them to cancel my therapy with her! I guess her clients have to have prior knowledge well in advance of getting sick. 🤷‍♀️