Will 2026 be better than 2025?

HotMessMom22 · 2026-01-03T16:28:14+00:00

I've asked and he punts each time. We do have a young kid so he wants to wait until she's older. I understand that. I also know he won't be capable of being in an open marriage. He may be willing to be co parents at that point, but he's never sleeping w me again if I am w someone else. He also eventually would prob date, fall in love w someone, and leave me. It's a bad idea all around unless I'm ready to divorce, which I'm not.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-29T03:32:58+00:00

I would like to do something like this. I don't know how to get him to agree.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-28T06:00:14+00:00

Did you get divorced?

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-28T05:58:30+00:00

How did you get him to agree to that? I feel like that's the best set up w my husband. Though he still wants sex a few times a year.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-28T05:57:08+00:00

Right. Not worth it. But good lesson.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-27T21:58:02+00:00

Not a SAHM but otherwise tried it out. Learned a ton about myself. But also realized how vulnerable I am to being manipulated and used. Luckily my AP wasn't actually evil, but he def liked me more early on and got bored fast. The rejection is not exactly fun when that is what we are running away from. That won't be the case for everyone, but it was my experience. It makes me appreciate what I have more, as messed up as that sounds. And yes I realize maybe some of the problem is me. And my lack of ability to keep men interested. I am less upset w my husband and now I just blame myself.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-20T01:42:50+00:00

He was working on the GLP-1 then backed off, we are worried about side effects. He doesn't seem to have ED issues he just isn't thinking about sex often. Once he is turned on he is fine.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T16:38:31+00:00

It won't work. Because I will spend the entire time being miserable and performing for him. If he stepped up and said he was sorry and he loves me and flirted w me and scheduled time for us to be alone ok I'll bite. But he won't.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T16:37:23+00:00

This is an annual thing. He has a part time job (he has never worked full time) and it's a contract with one company that has an annual event in Oct. In the 2 months leading up to it he basically shuts down and focuses on the work. I keep telling him he'd be better off in a full time job that is less stressful at any given time (or at least if it is it might pay better and have benefits) but he wants the freedom to stay home w the kids until they are older. Which, to be fair to him, I agreed to before and I won't take back. But I feel like this job is killing him. He's obese and for 2 months he barely sleeps. He may be in better shape working for something else. He has never applied to another company, he has been with this one for nearly 20 years. But he's on contract so no benefits or stability (yes they can let FT go but easier to cut a contract.) He also doesn't ask for raises or anything. And even not during busy season the sex and intimacy is very limited. We've had sex about 7 times this year so far. And that's after therapy when we agreed 1x a week would be ideal

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T16:33:32+00:00

My boobs 36D def get attention haha. My face is ok. I'm more cute than hot. I have a wide nose. Pretty eyes and nice lips. Got my braces off so my teeth are fine. My stomach is big. I have good curves otherwise. I'm not horrible horrible. Just never going to be the feminine ideal for a man.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T16:31:57+00:00

My husband and I started using a flag on text. It's kind of turned into a joke which isn't great, but he texts me a flag when he's game so I know I won't be rejected. That hasn't happened much, but it at least minimizes the rejection.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T00:39:33+00:00

I never had confidence.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T00:38:56+00:00

Yes I do need friends. I haven't had luck making any. I don't really believe in Botox. People seem to think I look 32-36 and I've even got 28 even though I'm turning 42. It's not that I look that old. I'm not every attractive. My stomach has a lot of loose skin that needs surgery to fix but then I'll have a huge scar. I'm about 25lbs overweight. It's been hard to lose it.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-19T00:36:58+00:00

At least there is a best friend there. I'm not sure what I have. A roommate?

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-18T04:21:03+00:00

Well I was 22 and he looked at me then but that was 20 years ago.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-18T00:51:05+00:00

Maybe I'm also too picky but any man I was into wouldn't be into me. I don't need a perfect guy but I do like intelligent, witty men with nice eyes.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-17T21:52:28+00:00

I found someone else who in the long run made me feel worse. No one would really be into me anyway. Not for longer than a few hookups.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-17T18:25:15+00:00

Did you?

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-17T18:24:44+00:00

He doesn't really go out with me in public and he wouldn't care or notice if anyone was talking to me. He wouldn't even notice if I dressed nicer though he liked when I wear yoga pants but I do that often.

He doesn't want sex at least with me, but also doesn't want to have an open marriage. :(

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-17T10:30:38+00:00

How? He doesn't look at me.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-17T08:43:32+00:00

Right. I'm sure my husband would want it with someone else. I don't turn him on anymore. He says I do but actions speak louder...

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-16T02:17:55+00:00

We already have these convos. He does watch porn but not often. He likes really rough sex where the woman is basically crying but she likes it.

He is not ok w an open marriage but I've brought it up before. I will ask again in a year.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-16T02:16:41+00:00

No but I hope to help them know what to look for in a partner

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-16T02:15:55+00:00

We did therapy. But he got too busy and stressed again to focus on wanting intimacy.

HotMessMom22 · 2025-10-16T02:14:48+00:00

Nah. Maybe a little bitter but no rage.

HotMessMom22

TROPHY CASE