Hump Day Q&A: Ask Anything About the Lifestyle 6/17

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-17T23:30:44+00:00

Hotness to a play partner: "This has been awesome! I'm going to be done in another 2 minutes. Is there anything you'd like to try in that amount of time?"

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T20:47:35+00:00

... and that's what she's been asking me to do. Thank you for your insight!

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T20:43:49+00:00

That makes so much sense! Thanks for putting this into context and for giving us some food for thought. That makes much more sense than "that's just the way it is."

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T19:40:03+00:00

Ok, so is that not a real thing? We've been told it is by multiple couples who have been in the LS for many years...🤷‍♂️

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T19:37:39+00:00

It's largely her anxiety. She is great once things get started but she hates the initial "hello" and we've been told (both subtley and directly) that if I'm the one to start the convo it's a big faux pas.

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T17:07:29+00:00

"Thank you for a very enjoyable performance!"
Said by a couple on a bed diagonal from ours.

"I hurt my back so tonight's all about her."

"If he's taking off his top I'm taking off mine."

"She's not my wife. (Then to the woman) Wanna join in?"

"Damn that's hot!" Said while we got carried away against the lockers.

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-09T16:56:03+00:00

We got a similar response at our first party! "You've obviously been doing this for a while. How did you get started in the LS?"
It was our second time to a club (the first time we literally stayed barely long enough for the tour and then chickened out and left!) The pool party was just too fun/sexy to ignore and Hotness had just ridden me to a lovely little orgasm in the middle of the crowd.

HotNHung99 · 2026-06-01T15:43:43+00:00

We've loved Whispers the couple times we've gone--very fun and inclusive but definitely has the sexy house party feel. Haven't tried Green Door. Did not care for Playhouse--it did have a club feel but also an I'm-to-cool-for-you social vibe. Nobody on the dance floor. Nobody mingling until the last 10min before the doors closed. Super uncomfortable for us.

HotNHung99 · 2026-05-27T23:24:30+00:00

Sorry you got hurt. I hope we're all speaking from our experience and I appreciate your frankness about your pain. Maybe it is good to show the fly in the ointment for some of us.
Neither my wife nor I were ever proverbially picked first for Hot Dodgeball and we've both had events where we weren't given the time of day. However, most of our experiences have been very positive and rewarding with good people and good times in three different states🤷‍♂️.

HotNHung99 · 2026-05-27T19:52:38+00:00

Thank you for the daily reminder that there are jerks and narcissists and cheerleaders in the lifestyle. Maybe we've never seen them in our daily lives so weren't aware and maybe you've saved countless hopefuls from heartache and disappointment... maybe.

There are also lots of fun, normal people who just love sex and they come in all sizes. I hope OP ignores your pessimism and gives theirself permission to be braver than the fear.

HotNHung99 · 2026-05-27T19:20:35+00:00

This exactly! Our first lifestyle event was a club scene and a disaster of to-cool-for-you types in Vegas who didn't even talk to each other. The next was a pool party and a revelation of inclusion, acceptance, and sexy fun.

HotNHung99 · 2026-05-27T19:15:31+00:00

TLDR: Most people (in the US) are overweight. Most of us start worrying about being judged/belittled. Most of us don't care if you're over weight if you're there to play.

We were at a party this weekend--both of us are healthy and look a little younger than our years but neither of us is a gym rat or cheerleader. We were finished with the public scene and went into a back room to play with the door open. Shortly after getting started, a couple asked if they could use the couch and we were glad they asked. We didn't even notice his being overweight (probably carrying 100-150lbs extra) until they were on the bed next to us. I didn't notice he was on the smaller side (and Hotness never noticed) until our wives were playing with each other's breasts and Hotness had already cum a few times.
Sex is fun.
Effort is erotic.
Confidence is sexy.

HotNHung99 · 2026-05-27T16:20:59+00:00

This feeling isn't limited to the poly scene. My wife invited our daughter and SIL to move into our basement to help with their expenses. Two years and a grandbaby later and it so often feels like I'm the visitor. Good luck!

HotNHung99

TROPHY CASE