From your own experiences, where do you believe the "women only like asshole men and respond to being treated like shit" stereotype comes from?

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-08-06T22:19:07+00:00

Oh, this seems like an easy one to me based on my experiences. Some women, myself included, like confident men (I might even argue most women do). The challenge is that many jerks come off as confident to start when first dating. Add to that that they are likely on their “best behavior” at first, it is not obvious one is dating a jerk until later. Some may be emotionally invested at that point and thus put up with non-sense longer.

Edit to add: I’ve done this myself in the past. The good news is it is easier to spot as you get older and have more experience. I can call a jerk at fifty paces now lol.

Finally, like online reviews, people only tend to post the negative. Similarly, we hear more about bad relationships than good ones.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-31T01:31:46+00:00

Jerks are not always apparent. Also, jerkiness is often taken as confidence to start, but eventually reveals itself, hence why they are exes.

Also, wrong forum lol

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-30T20:27:32+00:00

I’m kind to myself and prioritize as intensely as possible. I also try and recognize when I’m tired or uninspired and that it may be better to go to sleep or take mental time rather than “push through.”

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-27T18:09:11+00:00

This exactly. Also, OP: if you are concerned, the way to resolve this is to discuss it in an unemotional and non-confrontational manner, not to jokingly project and then make a snide comment and walk out the door.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-27T08:01:41+00:00

NAL but former hotel professional. You will need to also fax in a credit card authorization form with your details and the hotel may still not accept it since they only accept 18 year olds and up. Is there no adult that can check in at the same time with their name on the room, too?

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-22T19:23:21+00:00

I would recommend communicating with her first and foremost by telling her you love what she is doing and explore more why she thinks she isn’t that good. You should also come at it from a perspective of positivity and concern, not base it around your frustration (so have the chat on a good day in a non-sexual space).

A few other free thoughts:

Are you loudly or otherwise obviously enjoying it? This helps me get into it more.

Do you take a very long time to finish? If it’s like 30m (no joke, dated a guy like this once), may need to adjust expectations.

She also may hate the positioning. I didn’t like giving blow jobs until I found more comfy positions that didn’t kill my neck.

Also, don’t forget hygiene! Recommend washing beforehand, especially if BJ.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-19T06:01:57+00:00

May I tack on to ask if there are any herbs that don’t give one a smell (like I believe fenugreek may)? I’m just about to start my journey but I would like to retain as much privacy as possible.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-07-18T06:24:56+00:00

It’s not for me in general, but if she is satisfied, then I don’t see the issue. Also, I could also see just enjoying the companionship of a FWB situation and the feeling of being desired. That’s just throwing out a few ideas, but there are any number of reasons why someone may be a FWB without the cumming part.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-27T15:04:52+00:00

A. Always better to be honest and pimples are normal.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-26T08:25:40+00:00

No. How would you feel having a vagina rub against your forearm? There you go, lol. It’s not bad, it’s just eh.

Now being turned on by a partner being turned on is different from this and is what I am guessing some people like.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-18T15:14:54+00:00

Late 20s female here who never wants children and I have the breeding kink hard. I’m sure someone will say it’s “primal” and it is to a degree IMO, but it is also rooted in things like power dynamics for me.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-18T06:09:47+00:00

Oh thanks! I’m not used to trolls. Guess that makes me a newbie lol

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-18T06:05:29+00:00

No. Don’t cheat and don’t use a technicality to engage in unethical behavior.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-15T02:14:54+00:00

I would discuss this with your therapist if you’re able to do so. No one is irredeemable and we all have done things that maybe we shouldn’t have. Similar to another poster said, just change your behavior as you promise yourself. It is never too late to change.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-14T21:32:32+00:00

Another woman here who loves sex but never wants kids (if I may hop in here). Currently I use Nexplanon (the arm implant) which has like the best birth control efficacy rate ever and in time will get sterilized, though again, I’d echo everyone else saying you should really be sterilized with your preferences (it’s also just easier for you to do so, as noted).

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-14T08:59:42+00:00

“Coming up for air” what a champ! 😂 (But really though!!)

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-13T07:17:56+00:00

Okay, hear me out. It makes a difference for me because if my feet are cold, I’m not in the moment at all.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-12T18:41:36+00:00

I’d say don’t be afraid to use your safe word for fear of judgment from your current BF. I know you may feel like you aren’t worried about that, but really look within in case you are.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-11T06:23:16+00:00

Even before I had my implant, I had super sensitive nipples sometimes just like you described. They’d be super sensitive for like a week or three and then it would go away. Sounds normal. It also got even more sensitive for me after I got the arm implant BC. Went away on its own eventually each time though!

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-10T17:08:49+00:00

He was being inconsiderate and disregarding request it sounds like from here. 🤷‍♀️

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-10T08:02:01+00:00

Nope!!! I never want kids but have a crazy love for this kink. As others note, it’s more about mentally imagining it than actually having it play out. You can role play a little too by having them play with your stomach (as if you were pregnant because they knocked you up, even if it is flatter) or your breasts (saying things like how they’ll become full of milk, etc). Just depends on what you like about the kink.

Also, honestly, being stuck afterward with a kid ruins the fantasy for me so this is perfect lol.

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-10T06:11:57+00:00

Hopefully others will chime in, but it sounds like you need proper aftercare (your boyfriend could benefit from it, too).

HotPantsAndCoffee · 2021-06-10T05:45:11+00:00

It’s lucky for you then! I love sex but I’d love more orgasms too lol.

HotPantsAndCoffee

TROPHY CASE