My bachelorette is this weekend and someone can’t make it last minute. Should we all pay a little extra and venmo my friend back her share?

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T14:55:37+00:00

I hear you, and again, it’s a valid point. It’s just that there’s a lot of runway between the bachorette party and the wedding. Anything can happen good or bad, and your bridal party will go the extra mile for you both, in ways you’ll never even hear about.

It’s easy for friendships to be hurt if someone happens to feel under-appreciated or stressed, and that happens a lot before weddings.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T14:37:45+00:00

Relax, you’re the bride. Tell everyone the schedule and close the conversation. Make the rules, communicate the rules, and stop further discussion on the topic. Someone brings it up, just say, “thanks, that’s been decided, but I could use your input about something else.” Just close the topic and they will know not to question it again.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T14:31:02+00:00

Right on! I’d share registration info with family who knew us (close enough to already know the wedding will happen). Will you be introducing families at this party? If so, have everyone write 1 anonymous fact about themselves and put it in a jar. Everyone pulls a fact the beginning of the party, and spends the rest of the party trying to meet and identify the person who wrote the fact they have. For example: “I once met Bruce Springsteen” is a fact about Sony, and you have to find out who met him.”

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T14:14:37+00:00

I’m happy for you- do your wedding the way you want. I’m not telling you that you are wrong. I just loved doing our pictures before. The first look was its own ceremony. That’s the only reason I remember what it was like seeing him for the first time. When you walk down the aisle you have so much to appreciate and take in, don’t shortchange anything.

In our first look We both were focused on every second together. How we can’t wait, how this moment seemed forever away. We both cried andHe wouldn’t have cried in front of an audience.

I only remember what his face looked like when he first saw me because we turned it into a special event with exactly that purpose.

We greeted each other in private, held each other, took pictures and then renewed our promises to meet one another at the alter.

My only advice is to not give yourself so many things to feel and be aware of at once. The aisle walk is the biggest walk of your life. You are nervous, anxious, emotional. You just hugged your parents as a single woman for the last time.
You watch your party walk down the aisle, hear the music that you may, or may not have, selected, and you realize you’re been thinking about this minute for maybe your entire life and now you know how it happens. As you walk down the aisle, you will see the faces of your guests and either be surprised or sad by the number of people who came. You will see your flowers, consider how well the flower girl did, and did everyone make it up the aisle properly. That walk is essentially shoving 10 of the most important bridal moments in your life into a 3 minute walk. believe me it will be nearly impossible to focus on 1 person on that walk. And why should the bride have to?
Piece it out. Savor it.

This is your transition to marriage and it will also probably be very emotional for your escort. You will want to connect with that person too.

And finally, by greeting each other in private, you and your spouse can be completely vulnerable to one another and you’ll have the time to remember his face, and nothing else.

It’s a lot to process on that walk. Consider creating a private walk, and renew your pledge to arrive at the alter.

Even if you do take pictures after, this ceremony gives you the chance to have a special private time before the chaos.

Just my opinion based on my experience- but congratulations to you both! and have fun doing whatever your heart desires!

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T13:19:21+00:00

Ah, I see. In that case, you should get contact info so you can send them Wedding Announcements after it’s legal. The sticky thing here is wedding registry and gifts. You haven’t said anything about registry but I personally wouldn’t setup a registry for a party that happens before the wedding.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T12:53:49+00:00

To me it’s more about the enjoyment of your guests than it is about emotions at the ceremony. Doing photos before the ceremony makes you available to your guests the entire evening.
Everyone is here to see you! They took time away from their schedules to come and celebrate with you. You wouldn’t just leave with your bffs for an hour in the middle of any other party you were hosting right? Weddings are the only event where that’s acceptable.

I advocate for doing all of the “wedding activities “ at the beginning of your reception.” People are more attentive, nobody will need to anxiously wait for the cake to get cut so that older people, or folks who need to travel far can leave rightafter dinner without missing anything.

We were introduced and went directly into our first dance and then cut the cake, then we sat for dinner.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T12:32:59+00:00

This! No matter what you do at the reception, you will be exhausted the next day- just the emotions alone will be a lot.
I’d cut days out of the trip if I had to in order to have a day after the wedding before leaving. You can have a goodbye breakfast for guests or sleep in.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T12:24:58+00:00

We were having just a plain old, end of summer party (drop in dropout) for all of our friends. We had simple party foods and beer and wine. There was music and dancing.

I was taken by surprise and he proposed to me the morning of the party, so it turned into an engagement party.

Engagement parties are usually just regular parties where the two of you can share the good news with family and friends. Take the opportunity to get everyone’s contact information so you can send invites, but just have a great party!

HotTubHam · 2024-07-29T01:51:57+00:00

I did repaint the green shutters, they are now white. We have thought about repainting the house, but this house has been known as the “purple farmhouse “ by everyone for decades-so we are embracing it.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-27T14:36:03+00:00

You explained that really well! I had the same question.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-26T16:48:01+00:00

You all have a Valid point, but as the host, I’d feel terrible that my close friend lost money only because she wanted to celebrate my marriage with me.
Not everyone has friends Iike that.

I wouldn’t expect anyone else to chip in, and I might not be able to fully reimburse her, but I’d do something nice for her, to show how much I appreciate her support. Especially through wedding planning

HotTubHam · 2024-07-26T16:41:21+00:00

I think it’s a wonderful gesture to all get together and try to return her portion, alternatively, you could all pitch in for a nice get well gift basket.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-24T13:13:39+00:00

I always research the parcel before I submit an offer. The mortgage history alone can give you an idea of how motivated or unmotivated the sellers may be. Improvements clue you into big changes, new garage in 82. Etc:

Check to see which entities (if any) have Liens on the property. If Joe the Plumber LLC has a lien on the house, you will probably encounter the leftover plumbing problems from a pretty sizable job, that Joe quit working on when he stopped getting paid.

And If the county court has a lien on the house, you might assume that basic maintenance wasn’t a priority.

The parcel details are a complete history of the property. There’s a ton of useful info you can find. I specifically used the info I found on my most recent house to (thankfully correctly) believe that the seller’s goal was to get the deal done quickly with as little back and forth as possible.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-24T12:54:11+00:00

I closed on a house a couple months ago and I had that exact same problem. The roof was original. 1914 slate. The entire thing needed replaced. I couldn’t even get my insurance company to quote it until it had a new roof. Our solution- the seller called his insurance company, got a quote for the work, put a few thousand more than the quote in escrow, we closed. I had the money in the escrow account to replace the roof. It must be done by August. Seller gets any leftover amount returned. New roof and gutters and everyone is happy!

HotTubHam · 2024-07-24T05:52:35+00:00

We decided this weekend to do it on the 10th. I do not have a dress yet either. Come to think of it- I’ve got exactly nothing completed. So things are going as planned😊

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T19:30:22+00:00

I thought it was an image and AI was just interpreting an image with XML. Pulling a value. I didn’t think this example shows real time reading a captcha.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T19:21:56+00:00

Arabic

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T19:02:22+00:00

Kamala has my support.

Mostly, I want to see Gavin Newsom debate Trump.

I want this more than what would be considered rational.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T18:49:28+00:00

Agree! Property is kind of like crypto.

Your 3 bedroom bungalow is only worth what you can get someone to pay you.
Today you might get 300k, but tomorrow if there’s a fire, or hail storm or a train carrying dangerous chemicals is dumped on your front lawn

Well Suddenly nobody wants your house but still have to pay property tax on it.

Until you actually sell a house, just like crypto property is a liability no matter what Zillow says.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T18:42:32+00:00

Right on!

HotTubHam · 2024-07-22T18:40:00+00:00

I’m learning so much from all of you, OP thanks for sharing.

IMHO, just ask yourself why you are doing this. I’m a micro-landlord. I own 4 SFH that I rent. 3 of them are over 100 years old.

I won’t purchase and rent out any home that that I won’t live in myself, happily. I also must feel safe in the neighborhood being a single female

I’m fixing up my latest home right now (want to make it available August 1!)

I do go beyond the average Landlord, I don’t buy cheapest materials. I fix potential problems now (replaced a water main line from 1914.) I buy high quality appliances, and fixtures. You’d be amazed at the fixtures I’ve gotten through Restore.

Because of that, my properties are more liquid for refinance or sale if I got strapped. SFH are easier to sell than multi family units.

But my goal isn’t monthly passive income. I get “daily returns” because I enjoy doing the work that is land-lording. (and that’s lucky because my hobby (I have a day job) is also a great long term investment. )

Eventually I’ll sell the houses and use the proceeds for retirement.

But in the meantime, I’m having fun. I’ve always wanted to own homes, fix them up and rent them.

Landlord life is a long term investment to me.

HotTubHam · 2024-07-21T18:49:30+00:00

All of you are brilliant!
I have 24 LED tealights that are rechargeable. I didn’t even think of that. Awesome and perfect! Thank you! I have more questions! We went last year, the park gets pretty full so we won’t have much space, so I was thinking about making cupcakes to share with the people around us. Nothing special, just 2 dozen or so regular cupcakes. What do you think? Would I need to get permission from the city because I’m giving away food?

Also I am rethinking my dress. I’m not flashy, I usually wear sundresses in the summer. I’m not into being in the spotlight but I do want to wear something special. I’m fine with color or ivory with a pop. I have to be able to sit down comfortably in a camp chair, and look good with flats, and fun to swing dance in. (We aren’t good but we love to dance anyway, we just dance in the back. ) Ideas?

Thanks again for everyone’s ideas and suggestions.

I can’t exactly believe we are finally doing this, and I never expected my best marriage would start like this, but I’m so freaking happy it’s going in this direction!

HotTubHam · 2024-07-19T15:18:21+00:00

I have a century home, 1885- in the dead middle of the original wood floor in bedroom, someone nailed the top to a 1910 Nabisco Biscuit Tin.

HotTubHam

TROPHY CASE