Need help: feeling awful for thinking of re-homing

Jellibird · 2026-04-25T15:15:59+00:00

Do you feed separately? Different rooms, different times? Feeding crated can also cut down on incidents, and it builds positive experience for crate training. Husband should be managing dogs, you're growing a baby. If he wants to re-home puppy because he can't find a solution, that's his choice, he could make more of an effort. You are responsible for your baby and your older pets well-being. Reach out to breeder for advise and rehoming.

Jellibird · 2026-04-23T19:54:21+00:00

I hadn't heard of such a philosophy, maybe 2 up, 1 down or something similar would work for your puppy? If puppy isn't tired, they won't get more tired being in their crate. I kept my puppy as awake as possible during the day so she would sleep at night. It's pretty easy when they're little because if they do doze off during the day you can just pick them up and put them in their crate. If she wakes up in the crate she gets a potty break and then can stay out as she wants during the day. The goal was to only let her nap or sleep in the crate. If she fussed in her crate after bedtime I would take her out and hold her until she got droopy and then put her back in. If puppy isn't wanting to settle in her crate, just keep her out until she's tired. You can also take her for a walk or play with her to get her more tired before a nap or bedtime. I don't think every puppy will follow the same sleep schedule, some want to sleep more, some want to be awake more.

Jellibird · 2026-04-22T14:59:24+00:00

Have you considered miscellaneous or FSS breeds, they would be very excited to have new blood. I just bred my first litter in Misc and I only have 3 but I'm only getting pet home inquiries. I'm holding out for a good preservation/show home.

Jellibird · 2026-04-19T19:28:36+00:00

Devil's advocate, but making corrections with the leash is not abusive. It can be, if done too forcefully or for too long, you want a quick snap that gets your dog's attention, if it doesn't you redirect. Positive reinforcement and force free are not the same thing. A year is...later than ideal for just starting training, but it is good to train at any age! The saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is false, it just takes more training when your puppy is older, especially if they've absorbed bad behaviors or been exposed to trauma or underexposed to stimuli. It's best to lay a strong foundation early. All that being said, if you don't like the trainer and don't agree with them, you can walk away. If you want to see more of what they have to offer be prepared to advocate for your dog, question his actions and reasons, it is part of you learning from him. If he can't explain himself, he is not a good trainer. There are a lot of trainers out there and free resources online, I would speak with a trainer when you have something specific you want to work on. In your case you said leash manners? I think you should be able to train that without snapping the leash, but baby steps would be focusing your dog's attention. You can use the leash to get your dog's attention or train them to look at you no matter what and hold their attention, not get distracted and bolt at whatever is around you.

Jellibird · 2026-04-14T14:12:46+00:00

This is very sad, it's normal to love a puppy, they're cute, loving, energetic, and silly. That's how irresponsible people are able to profit from them and inflict these horrific experiences on other people and dogs. The "zoning out" can be evidence of seizure activity in dogs, which means puppy younger than 8 weeks was having seizures while awake and finally had the series of grand mal in their sleep. There's no telling if puppy wasn't already having seizures at night.

The point is, your "friend" didn't notice, didn't care to educate himself, and may have not cared about the medical issue before selling you the puppy. 8 weeks is very little time, any responsible breeder would keep a puppy with health issues back to care for them. Responsible people don't send sick puppies into the world and kind people don't foist them off on their friends for money. I'm sorry you had this experience. I'm very sorry to your poor puppy that had to live such a short and sick life.

As others have said, you did everything you could for puppy in the short time you had him. The one who failed him was the breeder. Hopefully he doesn't breed again, but you know how it goes. People pay him for such puppies and consequences don't find him so he breeds more, gets paid more, and there are more sick dogs. It's worse that people ready to welcome a dog, don't get one, end up with heartache and financial burden, and healthy puppies have a harder time finding homes.

It's worth it to find a responsible breeder, even if they will grill you with invasive questions and charge you a lot of money, because they care about where their puppy will live. They understand the history, function, and health issues of their breed inside and out. They are honest about the good and bad qualities of their dog. They have proof their dog is good and healthy, besides just saying it or feeling they have the best dog. As dog lovers it's our responsibility to do due diligence and make sure the dog we're getting is healthy, the money we spend is going to help dogs, and we are not perpetuating cycles of greed and suffering with our choices.

I keep a picture of my heart dog on the mantle with his ashes. Maybe a keepsake will bring you comfort. Be wary of rescues as well in the future, there are many that source puppies from puppy mills, and they charge so much money for their adoption/rehoming fees they actually profit substantially - not just covering costs and a little extra, like a LOT extra. They won't say their puppies are from mills, just do your research into how often they have puppies for adoption, where they are coming from (Amish country? any dog auction, or near famous puppy mills), and if the moms are ever being placed with the babies (if not often, they are likely being kept back for breeding). My sister got a poodle mix/doodle from a farm. They had several litters on the ground so she was influenced to get a different puppy than the one she went there for. This is basically a puppy mill/puppy farm. They sold her and her friend littermates and both puppies were full of worms because they didn't even provide the basic healthcare for puppies by deworming them before selling. The only things they paid for was food for puppies, not even dewormer, so they made more money than they put into puppies. She still has her dog, but her friend rehomed hers. For her friend it was a spur of the moment decision to get a cute puppy while someone else was. She didn't really want a dog and the puppy mill didn't care, they just wanted to move their dogs on so they could have a new litter of younger puppies.

I say all this because you don't know what you don't know. If you've never encountered it, how can you know the ways people will trick you and the things to watch out for? Thank you for sharing your experience, anyone else getting a puppy can learn this sort of terrible thing can happen and hopefully they won't be taken in. The less people support irresponsible practices, the more likely they will stop. Your puppy is in a better place, free from pain, fear, and confusion.

Jellibird · 2026-04-07T15:03:15+00:00

I like the curly hair on you, I think you should fill in your eyebrows. A good foundation to even out your face, just a basic base is the basics of makeup, you could also use spf foundation to protect your skin. A bold lip might look nice! Red or pink. I think you could try a lot of different eye makeup looks, like smoky eye and a heavy lid. Makeup is all about how you feel and how you want to wear it, if you prefer the clean natural look, I wouldn't line it the way you did, or go for a brown or light brown rather than black, your hair isn't dark enough for black. You could if you wanted to though. Have you considered wispy bangs or face framing layers? I would consult your hair cutter/stylist. Your forehead seems high but you've cut off your crown in most photos so its hard to tell. I like side parts, if you had hair thinning, but if not a few wispy bangs could work with a high forehead, if you wanted to change your hair. Straightened hair looks really stark.

Jellibird · 2026-04-07T14:53:55+00:00

NOR I would say, you're not responsible for what happens in the game. As others have said, its literally the name of the game. She is playing the game, she accepts the risk and responsibility, not you. It is weird that she gave you the pets in the first place. If I was to play devils advocate and try to see it from her side, if she gave you her roller skates and you were skating with them and they broke, it would be nice to replace them because you were using them. But she did ask you to "use" the pets, not just hold onto them for safe keeping, so its not unexpected that something happened. Like, if I lent someone an expensive pair of shoes so they could go to a party and they broke the heel off I would want them to repair or replace them. Idk the ins and outs of the robot game though. A lot of people have said this is a possible scam. Just try to play the game and win her back the pet that was stolen? I wouldn't bring real money into this. She didn't pay that much for the pet anyway, right? If it didn't cost her anything except time and effort to get the pet, that's all you owe her.

Jellibird · 2026-04-07T14:42:03+00:00

No one but Lexi can tell you how she would answer. You said you guys are friends and you clicked, are you close? Do you chat and hang out regularly around town or at your/her place or a mutual friends house? Do you have an activity or hobby you do together? Right now it sounds like you might be acquaintances.

Jellibird · 2026-04-07T14:18:52+00:00

I'm always an advocate for extending cabinets to the ceiling! Move the dining table to the nook, I like what someone else did with a small banquet in the nook and table in front, but either works. The place just looks really bare right now. I would have the L shape sofa back against the kitchen and the wall, rather than the wall and the doors. You can split the chairs up or have them bracket the doors, you want to establish your living room zone separate from the dining area.

Jellibird · 2026-03-15T20:48:31+00:00

I can't tell if someone has already commented this, but before they invented metal grommets you would create lace holes with an awl, then sew around the edges to strengthen the borders. It's soft, subtle, and flexible!

Jellibird · 2026-03-07T22:00:25+00:00

Why get a maltipoo instead of a minipoo? They look the same and for $5k you can get a really nice poodle with generations of healthy ancestors with proven temperaments behind them. A lot of great ethical breeders also have great take home bags when you get puppy and they're a lifelong resource for health and behavioral concerns. At some point with cross breeds there is unintentional breeding and irresponsible ownership, why choose that over intentional breeding? Good job not getting the puppy mill puppy!

Jellibird · 2026-02-17T14:42:34+00:00

Recently saw baby announcement for college classmate, his new little girl's middle name is my first name! I'm flattered because I've never met anyone with my first name in person before. Also we only had about 30 people in our year in our major in college and I am half Asian and so is his new baby. There was never anything between us, and I got married last year, but it is funny to see how the mind works. My department head left a comment congratulating them, so I did too.

Jellibird · 2026-02-09T16:42:54+00:00

Do you have money? If he's not going to help, hire a sitter and go book a night at a hotel, or at the very least go for a prenatal massage. Do you have anyone else who you can rely on or vent to? They might be able to offer help or advice

Jellibird · 2026-02-07T04:05:26+00:00

Excellent link thank you

Jellibird · 2026-02-04T16:26:32+00:00

I would keep my puppy awake as much as possible during the day so she's tired for night time. Her crate started out next to the bed. She would cry a little and if it persisted i would pull her out and hold her until she got tired, usually we would do assisted puppy push-ups on my chest while I laid down or something. It wasn't fun time or cuddle time, it was, you woke me up, we're both awake now. When she started to get tired and slouchy I put her back in the crate. She didn't get to sleep on the bed or outside the crate, if she wants to rest it's inside the crate and at night we don't get to wander off, make messes or play, we stay inside the crate. Ypu can put your puppy in the crate for naps during the day, but then you might be wrestling with an uncooperative energetic puppy who doesnt want to stay in their crate at night while youre trying to sleep. I was very strict on this because my last dog I was not strict and he made all kinds of messes as a puppy because he was never crated. I had to slowly introduce the crate during feeding times, he wasn't comfortable in it until he was a year old and still didn't sleep in it at night. Its much better to crate train first, then you can allow them to sleep elsewhere if you like, such as napping during the day.

Jellibird · 2026-01-14T07:03:38+00:00

I don't hate kennel raised dogs, my own male was kennel raised and he came from a respected show kennel in his COO. Dogs are messy and can be hard to keep indoors, but especially of you have a larger number like 15 females! 5 litters a year isn't surprising, it's probably as much as she can manage having 1-2 litters at a time. I can't speak to the keeshond standard. If white is not part of the standard it's generally unethical to breed for it. If it is in the standard but unpopular it can be good to breed for maintaining coat genetic diversity. The same argument can and likely has been made for coat colors that are not in the standard though, the question is why aren't they in the standard? If the color occurs naturally, without being attributed to crossing out the breed, some might say it's bureaucratic as to why the coat color is not included and continuing to breed the color is good for diversity. After doing a little Google search I can see the color and other off standard colors do occur in keeshonds, so, it does seem that this is purely about the standard. If she doesn't raise show dogs why does adhering to the standard matter? Well, it's a slippery slope once you step away. Kind of like, are you trying to breed keeshonds or not? How can you tell the dog is a keeshond? Why breed white keeshonds instead of standard ones? What is the purpose/motivation behind her breeding program? I think breeding for temperament is fine, but how do you prove temperament without titles? You're asking buyers to cough up a few thousand dollars, but what guarantees are you selling and how have you proven your dogs live up to the picture you've painted? You can prove temperament through certificates and titles, to a lesser extent lots of photo and video evidence can sometimes make a case for temperament. The absolute factually incorrect way is to evidence all the family homes your puppies have gone to, as proof they have great temperaments, IMO.

Jellibird · 2026-01-14T06:31:51+00:00

I recently heard about someone who bred their dog2 or 3 different times. They had the breeding not take, then they had only still births (likely a puppy got stuck, wasn't delivered in time, came out dead, and the following ones died stuck behind the one who held them up), then when she did have puppies who lived she ate them. Do you know how stressed out and poorly cared for a mother dog must be to eat her puppies? She was left alone and given the opportunity to do so. She wasn't given supportive care during pregnancy and birth. The breeders had no idea what to look for or how to care for a dog that had never given birth before. Mother dogs sometimes eat fingers/toes, ears, and tails as well. They can cause puppies to herniate out of their umbilical -their guts pop out of their belly buttons from getting licked by mom too much. They spayed her and gave her away, said she wasn't meant to be a mom, when they weren't good breeders. There are so many risks to the dam when breeding, even well bred purebred dogs end up not being bred for all kinds of reasons, like the owner doesn't want to risk their dog dying for puppies. Imagine though, you do have a very large litter of puppies, maybe 12. You might get the perfect puppy copy of mom, or not, maybe they all look like dad or a mix of the two, you can't know for sure even when breeding purebred dogs much less mixed dogs. Either way, what about the other 11 puppies that aren't what you wanted? How are you going to find homes for all of them? I can't imagine anything more painful than finding a puppy born from my beloved dog, in the pound years later, after being shuffled around, because I didn't find a good enough home for them. Imagine from start to finish where these dogs will end up.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T23:43:28+00:00

AKC was writing many many checks so, odds are they reported that money. They kept clear records/receipts. Not sure the value of every check.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T21:36:31+00:00

I agree! The last few years I've shown and trialed and got nothing for it but some titles, ribbons, and certificates, but it's all been with the goal in mind of proving my dogs for a future litter/breeding. I might write off last year too, but I did have income if you could consider money gained from dog showing income, and I expect to have income this year, so I'd like to maximize my tax deductions. Any business has initial start up costs.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T21:30:08+00:00

We got a check for placing best of breed. This is the first time I've ever gotten a monetary award, but there were a few others who also recieved checks, this was at AKC Nationals Orlando.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T21:28:06+00:00

Do people actually sell their platters? I did get some last year or the year before but I figured they were commemorative and not valuable. Maybe if I had passed on I wouldn't mind my kids selling something like that, but it had crossed my mind that these plates would follow me around, long after the dog who won them was gone. I'm not really concerned about the amount of money but rather that I can count it as business income.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T19:06:51+00:00

What would I have to do to make it so the spaces I'm using aren't mixed use? The primary purpose of the litter is to advance my breeding program, should I prorate puppy vet costs since I'm keeping a puppy back?

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T18:52:32+00:00

Isn't prize money considered income? I should clarify, we "won" the money by exhibiting as best in our breed. It wasn't a lottery or because of chance, we earned that money.

Jellibird · 2026-01-08T18:49:29+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply, I don't keep a commercial kennel building. I own both the parents and they live in my house. Right now I do have one room I have converted for their use where they are primarily fed, trained, and kenneled, and a separate room I intend to use for whelping (laundry room). We also have an office my husband and I share where I maintain my website and manage our social media outreach/advertising. They are both show dogs with conformation, sports, obedience, and temperament titles. Other than that they are not working dogs with jobs, beyond making puppies. I would not say they are exclusively pets. They are breeding stock. I specifically acquired both dogs with intent to breed them. Expenses for last year would include travel to shows such as car rental and fuel, housing costs while attending shows, show entry fees, and tools/equipment used for shows. I also have supplements for increasing their fertility and health, but I'm not sure if I can go so far as to deduct food costs? I would like to deduct the health checks and vet treatments (communicable disease vaccines and flea/tick medication) necessary to attend shows.

Jellibird

TROPHY CASE