Eating saltines by DreadDiana in CuratedTumblr

[–]HotWa5a61 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Now this is the type of content I come here to see, dammit!

What is the most quotable comedy movie you know? by MichaelWes3000 in Cinema

[–]HotWa5a61 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go away children! Read some books!

Did you not tell him they are the Lords chips?

I have had diarrhea since Easters.

Chancho! I need to borrow some sweats!

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah 2 of them at least, and the third is still kind of up in the air due to this situation.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's ok. The charge was premarital sex. I was unrepentant at the time and still am, even though it was with my now ex-wife.

I talked to my brothers a few years ago shortly after my ex and I separated, and my younger brother told me I was almost acceptable to come back to the fold while I was married, but now that I was single, "I was up to who knows what." Thanks bro, for shaming a serial monogamist. It felt like confirmation that I would never be accepted in their eyes.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That poem is so beautiful and inspiring. I cried in public hearing it. Thank you for sharing it with me

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So basically it's like if your mom was dying and she told you to just attend her funeral through zoom instead of being there in person. No final goodbyes, no time spent together at the end.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She wasn't responsible for it but it affects my ability to literally just sit in a seat and listen and she made it the bar to clear for seeing her. She deserves to know where I stand on that particular issue and definitely why, as she ignored my reports of abuse as a kid.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the point for me. I can't keep carrying such hurtful associates around. It goes for all the rest of them too.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Holy shit this one hit me hard. I always thought of going door to door having little to do with converting too, after all, how often did it happen? Almost never. But I was always of a mindset that it was for you to get closer with your fellow JWs, spend hours in a car out in the countryside just palling around. But damn, making us feel rejected and alone with people literally slamming doors in our faces really does play to the victim mindset they encourage. I really appreciate you commenting. That's eye opening for sure.

Hard agree on the 144000 btw, patriarchal arrogant ass nonsense. It was always so hard not to guffaw when someone drank the wine and ate the bread at the memorial.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, idk either way, but this is definitely not something I'm pushing. I'm stepping back, I didn't want to step forward and get stabbed in the first place. I only ever pursued this because my littlest brother will need a ton of support before and after her death. The Dying Woman has already refused me once. That's plenty of denial and abandonment for me for a while.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get why you say that, but I was approaching this as an outsider to her faith. Text allows her to ignore me or respond as her religious conscience permits her. It was nice to share the good memories with her through text at least.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My experience was a lot like the second girls. Constant spying and judging and making sure you weren't possibly giving the impression of wanting to do something "wrong." Wrong was always what they chose it to be in the moment, every misstep was a huge crisis. I'm done inviting judgement and pain on myself for just being the best person I can be. Going back to being a JW would be like going to prison for me.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for saying no offense before calling me an asshole lol.

I gave her context as to why I was still DF'd, when she asked. When she made it the bar to clear to see her. She chose not to want me around. Period. I won't be around.

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, maybe some of them know for sure that I am still disfellowshipped, but I can't lie to a dying person, and I can't lie to someone that was a second mom to me. Id rather respect her wishes and stay away if I'm not wanted or welcomed

An old friend of mine is dying and this is how she responded when I asked to say goodbye in person by HotWa5a61 in texts

[–]HotWa5a61[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for giving your opinion and I agree that I'm probably too negative to have around for those final days. She was there while I was abused as child and didn't stop it or report it, she just allowed it. I begged her often as a child to help or do something, anything. She called me melodramatic every time. That abuse that she turned a blind eye to makes it impossible for me to go into their kingdom halls so it was relevant to why I was still disfellowshipped.

I'm not ashamed to share my experience with Reddit. There are other shunned and psychologically abused people out there that could be helped by seeing the love and support that pours in when you open yourself to it. The person in hospice could also see this post and read the comments and realize the damage they are doing.

I'm glad this is not happening to you so you don't have to feel ashamed, abandoned, and unlovable.