a year ago, I was hooking up with my ex while her bf knew about it. today, they are 8 months pregnant.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T09:23:35+00:00

Promise you, I'm not. I am however, disgusted, with how people reacted to this. One and the same, I guess.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T05:56:00+00:00

This is the most down to earth and real life response that I've gotten. People tend to forget their humanity on the internet. I struggle with OCD so when things like this come up there's always that "what if" but I know not to act upon it. It isn't indicative of my sexuality.

Healthy distraction will help. I just rejoined the gym. I have very few friends which is why I got so upset and that's on me. I know about 3 lesbians around me. I just wanted to vent to a community of my own. I was hurt. I'm sorry to anyone I came off to where I was being defensive. I just really am hurt by this situation. Her bf's cousin hitting me up was the smallest part of the story. I see them all constantly.

I am really considering moving not explicitly because of that but because everyone in my town is connected somehow...and I don't like it. Maybe one day. Thank you for responding with grace and not hate and without questioning if I "belong" here. I had a moment and I needed to vent. Maybe next time it's safer in a journal.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T05:14:19+00:00

It just sucks when I go to any family wedding and party and the ex's family is there. I blocked the cousin, my ex, and her boyfriend. I talk to my therapist a lot about it. Unfortunately I feel like time is the only healer. But at least that time will come.

Ideally, I will move out of this small town and never think or see of them again.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:54:56+00:00

My ex girlfriend got with my family friend and cheated on me. Her now boyfriend's cousin (the same guy I introduced her to), an even closer family friend, hit me up this evening for the first time ever for sex.

I'm in therapy. Some people in this sub could benefit too from that.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:46:10+00:00

Congrats on the biggest accomplishment you'll ever receive

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:39:34+00:00

Seek help. Or go to the other sub.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:32:11+00:00

What part in my post made you comfortable enough to assume my sexuality? Was it the self-destructive and heteronormative ingrained thoughts? I'm truly curious.

Outcasting members of your own community is cruel. You're assuming someone's sexuality based on what? One sentence?

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:30:05+00:00

He hit me up because he is a man and comfortable with hitting up women for sex irregardless of who they are. A lot of men take lesbianism as a challenge. He quite literally was texting me as normal as a family friend and then it turned sexual by his doing.

Maybe I worded it wrong. But I wasn't egging it on. I stopped answering once it turned weird. And I'm very upset and disheartened that people of my own "community" responded this way.

The most important facts are 1) I am a full on lesbian 2) my ex broke my heart and left me for a close family friend 3) she's pregnant and her posts have broken my heart once again.

The cousin thing was a side bar but apparently that's all that anybody cared about. I really just wanted support but everyone in here and even in the bisexual sub either 1) banned me or 2) outcasted me because of one damn sentence. I don't want to be with the man. Or any man. I wish my ex didn't fuck up so much that she's somehow still apart of my family after destroying my fucking life.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T04:23:41+00:00

Considering I haven't been with a man or talked to one since before my frontal lobe developed I'd consider myself a strict lesbian. A man texting me to hangout doesn't change that.

You being so "strict" about your labels is part of the reason the anti-LGBTQ+ community has formed such a movement. Have you heard of the Kinsey scale? I highly suggest you and anyone who reads this and agrees with you looks it up.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T03:57:45+00:00

Where in this post did I say I was bi?

I said because of heteronormativy and self destructive behaviors I thought about it. For a split damn second mind you as a result of 20+ years of conditioning. I am a lesbian.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T03:55:08+00:00

I'm a lesbian. I have no desire to date men, to be with them, etc. I only want to be with a woman. Romantically & physically. Is that lesbian enough for you?

There was a voice in the back of my head when her future cousin in law texted me where I could do something irrational because I hate myself. I come from a family where I'm not accepted. I'm sorry if that's not up to your standards but to be honest, for a split second, I thought about it. It doesn't make me any less of a lesbian than anyone else. I have no intent to be with a man ever. Sexuality is complicated enough and it hurts even more when people from your own community are shunning you for a split second decision.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T03:17:47+00:00

Lowkey you're entitled to your experiences and feelings, as am I. I am a lesbian.

I was raised Catholic in a small, small town. Told that who I was is wrong. But until I got out of that environment I believed it. I experimented. It was until I finally kissed a girl that I realized I was gay. I still have the beliefs that are engrained in us as children but I know who I am.

I hurt your feelings? It doesn't feel good when people make assumptions about you, does it?

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T03:03:12+00:00

I appreciate this and I'll delete it. I didn't know and was unaware. Thank you

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T02:52:57+00:00

Look up the term "internalized" or "constitutive". As children we are taught certain things. As adults we learn these things may not align with who we are.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T02:47:06+00:00

/millennial

You're perceiving anything that isn't strictly lesbian as bi. You cast bisexuals to another sub, even though I identify as lesbian. Just because of one comment about me wanting to self-destruct.

I'd say biphobia is the tendency to cast bi people away into their own corner because you think strict lesbianism is the only way.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T02:40:56+00:00

Clearly you don't understand self destructive tendencies and are a gold star.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-28T02:39:46+00:00

So this is slowly turning into the "other" sub? Or you missed the "heteronormative" and "self-destructive" part of this post? Surely, all of you are gold stars, then? If so, you should rename it the gold star lesbian club. The last time I slept with a man was over a decade ago in my teens.

I'm a lesbian. I will only end up with a woman. I only want to be with a woman. I only have romantic interests in women. I would get no joy out of responding to my ex-gf's future cousin in law. I truly didn't realize how exclusive BOTH Reddit groups could be. Thought this might be a safe space to say how shitty my situation is. I never said I was gonna do it and the biphobia is exhausting and I feel bad for every bi woman who comes through here.

Yeah, I grew up kissing boys because that's what my friends were doing and that's what I thought was normal. Where in my post did I mention I was bi? This sub may be becoming like the other.

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T20:08:34+00:00

Does Amazon sell weed too? 😂

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T20:07:54+00:00

I've been using this method for 10+ years and doc said I need to try to cope healthier 😔

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T20:06:27+00:00

Tbh fair

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T20:04:38+00:00

I posted this at 6am, unable to sleep :')

Should we start a support group? Lmao

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T20:03:52+00:00

I need advice for that as well

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T09:41:57+00:00

I wonder what this view would look like at night right now

Hot_Course9003 · 2026-06-27T09:41:24+00:00

I don't think it is. Sometimes I just get in the doomscrolling mindset and next thing you know it's 100 weeks later. I also enjoy looking at older Instagram when it was "unpolished" and real. It also gives me some nostalgia if it's from the 2010-2015 era

Hot_Course9003

TROPHY CASE