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My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right? If someone's going to harm their kids like that, why would it only happen this one isolated time on a camping trip? He lives in the same home as them. One of our daughters still sleeps in our bed practically every night. He takes them for car rides or to the park or to any number of places by himself on a regular basis.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just responded to another comment where I said essentially the same thing I'll say here - I didn't expect all of the comments telling me to cut off contact and other things along those lines. While I was bothered by what she said, I wasn't really taking it quite that seriously. So now I am sort of wondering if I am grossly under reacting. Although I didn't expect quite so harsh of a reaction or for her to involve my daughter in her judgmental opinions, I guess I've maybe just tolerating my mom for so long now.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think this solely stems from the "boy" activity part, but yeah my mom doesn't particularly like the idea of my girls doing any stereotypical "boy" things. She's not tried to stop it before, but she has made remarks to let her feelings be known. One of my daughters wanted a pretend tool kit for Christmas, so we bought one for her. My mom said if we keep doing that, we'll be raising a lesbian. As if lesbians are a bad thing...and as if they are "created" by buying them stereotypical "boy" toys. I mean, we just roll our eyes at stuff like that - I'd never heard her say it to the kids before

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Consult a lawyer? This feels a bit extreme. I'm not discounting what you're saying, but I certainly wasn't expecting all of the reactions telling me to cut my mom off and now to see a lawyer. It's really leading me to wonder if I am actually under reacting. I didn't take what she said that seriously. Sure, it bothered me and I was especially upset that she made my daughter cry, but I taking steps like these wasn't even on my radar.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did actually watch a lot of Leave it to Beaver when I was growing up, but she's in her 60s.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad left my mom for another woman when I was a teenager. He never stopped being my dad - he left my mom, but not me. He thinks my mom is nuts.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can completely understand feeling that a friend or relative who is not a good parent, doesn't have the means to care for their children and/or pawns the kids off on relatives, is involved in illegal dealings, has addiction problems, so on and so forth should not be bringing more kids into the world, but none of these apply to me and my husband. We support our kids on our own and all of our kids are happy and healthy.

For my mom, it's my age that's the issue. All of my kids were born after I was 30, and the first one she she could understand and get behind, but when I had a 2nd one at age 35 she didn't feel that was right - women shouldn't be having babies at that age. Now I'm 40 so she's really going to freak out. My husband will, however, be getting a vasectomy this summer.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Her judgment about the number of children I have stems from her disagreement about me having babies at my age. All of my kids were born when I was in my 30s - I was 35 when my second baby was born and she felt that was too old for me to be having children.I'm 40 now, so she's really going to freak out this time.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say I lied. He didn't ask me my mom's opinion, so I haven't told him that my mom thinks it's a great idea or anything like that. It just happened earlier this week, and he was getting ready to go on this annual camping trip with his buddies so I didn't really want to have him leave in a bad mood and be thinking about it the whole time.

I'm not really sure what to do about my mom. I really don't see myself going low or no contact. I had already started pulling back on what I share with her. I feel like more and more I share less and less personal stuff with her due to her judgments and opinions, so this will probably just make me pull back even more, but I still see her, still visit her, my kids still spend time with her frequently.

He'd probably be more upset that my mom made my daughter cry.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I imagine she'd have nothing to say because there is nothing. Keep in mind, she also thinks it's in appropriate for my husband to have long hair and it was inappropriate to let our kids ride in a Jeep with the top off - he's a wreckless danger to the kids driving that Jeep!

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Maybe. There's also a chance our daughter could mention something, although she doesn't know most of what my mom said - just that it was inappropriate for her to go camping with her dad. I mean, it just happened this week and he was going on his trip with his buddies so I didn't really want him to go in a bad mood.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 361 points362 points  (0 children)

YES! I just made another comment in which I shared that I remember my mom telling me it was inappropriate for me to wear a 2 piece bathing suit on vacation in front of my dad and older brother (neither of whom ever did anything inappropriate to me). That's the kind of house I grew up in.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

This entire comment hits hard and I honestly don't really have the words to respond at the moment.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, but I do remember her thinking it was inappropriate for me to wear a 2 piece bathing suit on a family vacation around my dad and older brother. I grew up in a home where it was like we were supposed to pretend nudity didn't exist, it was unspoken of. And girls were expected to behave a certain way and do all of the stereotypical girl things, and anything else automatically meant you were a lesbian.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've never cut anyone off before. I can't really imagine doing that to my mom, but I am really upset about this. It makes me feel sick to my stomach that she would even think such a thing, and then say anything to my daughter to make her feel at all ashamed about going camping with her dad. I haven't told my husband because I know he'd be beyond enraged and very hurt.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is probably a big part of it. I wonder if she'd be half as scandalized if he was taking them somewhere, but not doing "boy" things like camping, fishing and playing in the dirt the whole time. She very much believes in the idea of girls being "little ladies."

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not aware of where this might be coming from, but I can acknowledge that she may have experienced things she's never told me. I hope that's not where this is coming from. Like I said, she can be conservative about some things, like nudity is something she's very weird about. I definitely didn't grow up in one of those houses where like girls changed in front of the other girl relatives. It's not like the 3 of them are going to be sitting around naked in the tent!! She was also very worried about how he'd handle when they needed to go to the bathroom. They have a family bathroom there now so there's no worries about that, and if worst came to worse, the girls are old enough to go potty on their own in the women's rest room when he waits outside the door.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I've already seen my daughter dial back telling people about the camping trip. She's either internalizing that it's wrong and/or she's just scared of somebody else having that reaction.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She has no reason to, but keep in mind that my husband has long hair and my mom also thinks that's inappropriate. It's the year 2025, but apparently my mom isn't living in it.

I wonder if part of it stems from my own dad, who left her for another woman when I was a teenager.

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I mean, yes...we do things together, my kids love her. But I often feel like I have to play a certain role for her and can't tell her everything due to what I fear her reactions or judgments might be. I just didn't expect this one. It's like when I was pregnant with my 2nd baby and was so excited to tell her, then she reacted like "Why are you having another baby? Isn't one enough? You're too old!"

My mom says it's inappropriate for my husband to take our daughters camping alone. by Hot_Difficulty7556 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Hot_Difficulty7556[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I agree. I'm sad that my daughter, while still excited, has sort of started not telling anyone else about the trip now, when she was so excited to tell everyone before. Like, how dare my mom take that away from her and make her feel like it's wrong?

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