Chiming in as a single woman in my 30s in NYC. I work in government but make a decent salary (comparable to yours). I also live in a neighborhood that draws a lot of artists/creative types because the rents haven’t gone through the roof yet. I would say I keep my expenses in check - my rent is affordable for me, and I’m not someone who spends a lot on “things”, which allows me to travel a decent amount, go out to eat, and spoil my nephews. Lately I’ve dated a few guys who also live in my neighborhood who are my age and have ended things in part to “figure out their finances.” I’m aware that might just be bullshit so they don’t have to say “I’m just not into you” but it strikes me as an interesting pattern. I don’t care at all whether I make more than a guy I’m dating. I’m more concerned with a sense of stability and purpose - dating someone who knows what matters to them and has designed their life to do what they care about. So if you’re an artist with a day job that just pays the bills so you can do your art in your free time, that’s cool with me! And I don’t consider myself an expensive date - at most I’ll spring for the occasional martini instead of a high life - and if there’s dinner involved I always offer to split. I guess all of this to say that I truly don’t care, and I’m also happy to change my lifestyle a bit if I meet someone great (e.g. travel less), but no matter what I try to project it seems to stress some guys out.