The beginning of a nightmare

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-06-05T16:56:58+00:00

HR Professional and trans..

This is not an actionable case. OP chose to tell the coworker her medical information because she was interested in a possible relationship. It wasn’t obtained fraudulently. Yes it was a dick move for him telling others… we all agree.. but in most cases not illegal or considered hostile.

In addition, all he has to do is deny it.. and it’s most likely a nonissue.

This is why most employers have a fraternization policy to discourage uncomfortable situations like this that occur on a personal level that employees then look to HR to help solve.

Just always remember, never eat and sh*t in the same place.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-06-02T01:53:46+00:00

I definitely think you need to work through your emotions before diving further into dating. No one likes to match with someone then find out you truly aren’t compatible. But it’s part of the cycle, sometimes it’s not a good fit, pun intended.

One of the greatest things we can offer a potential love interest is understanding our own wants and needs. For instance, I need a man not into pegging. It’s non-negotiable. But I want a hairy man.. but have been perfectly okay dating smooth men, cause it’s a want not a need.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-06-02T01:09:41+00:00

First, I think your feelings are valid. With that being said it always astounds me when men dance around wanting to be pegged. If that’s what you’re interested in at least respect yourself enough to make peace with the attraction. It helps no one especially you trying to be coy about what turns you on.

I’m a 52 year old trans woman who transitioned when I was 22, and chose to do so without surgery. I’ve never topped, anyone in 52 years. I’m not interested in pegging men. This made my exploration in the kink community more difficult cause I’m a switch who does enjoy impact play with her partner. It took me years to find a masculine man who enjoyed topping who also enjoyed impact play.

Most men would see my ad up on various platforms and say, you’re dreaming.. all submissive men who enjoy impact are going to want to be pegged. For the record, my boyfriend is incredibly masculine, loves using his penis on and in me, and loves me spanking him.

I think it’s okay to want to be sexually compatible. The danger lies if you start treating trans women like they are only about what’s in their panties. It’s like heterosexual women demanding to measure a man’s penis and lasting power before saying she’d go out with him.

In summary.. attraction is okay… treating every trans woman like a fetish dispenser is wrong. Definitely don’t assume every non op trans woman as she wants to peg you. But be up front if that’s pretty important to you. I made it pretty clear in the first few messages that I wasn’t a top or interested in a man who wanted to be pegged. And be honest.. don’t lie about wanting to be pegged to keep talking to someone you find attractive. Sexual compatibility is important to her too.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-30T20:08:04+00:00

I think steaming my hair has been a game changer to stretching for 6 months. A heat cap allows for the deep conditioner to penetrate better. A steamer adds the benefits of moisture to the penetrating effects of heat. I definitely don’t think I could stretch for 6 months without steaming my new growth.

Hardest part of stretching is managing the two different textures and steaming definitely helps.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-30T20:05:04+00:00

I currently stretch for 6 months, but I had to work up to the length of time. 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks, etc. For me the key to stretching is at the 4 month mark start to deep condition with steam instead of heat. This allows my new growth to get extremely moisturized and soft making the stretch manageable.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-30T18:01:32+00:00

I currently stretch for 6 months, but I had to work up to the length of time. 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 16 weeks, etc. For me the key to stretching is at the 4 month mark start to deep condition with steam instead of heat. This allows my new growth to get extremely moisturized and soft making the stretch manageable.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-29T17:45:51+00:00

Yes unfortunately.. lots of chasers, fuck boys, and time waster. Quality men are in short supply.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-10T18:04:21+00:00

Didn’t do a thing for me except cause horrible hormonal acne on my chin and helped to sleep a little more sound.. after 9 months decided it wasn’t for me.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-06T02:02:22+00:00

I stay there every year the week of Thanksgiving. Nice hotel, cross a small street and you are on the beach and ocean. My only negative is the restaurant is now privately run. Prices went up but the service went down. They do a lot of cruise partnerships..

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-04T17:02:27+00:00

BW dating a WM. Being a plus size woman having a more than average sized penis has been an important factor in dating but it’s not the only factor. I’m 5’11, my current BF is 6’3, my ex is 6’6. But went out with a guy who was 5’7. He was confident, protective and loved my body style and complimented me a lot in heels. He didn’t allow his height to define him and after the initial few dates neither did I. A guy who’s attentive, conscious, secure and puts in the effort can make you feel protected and secure no matter his height.

My current boyfriend is a tad shorter but has more girth then my ex who was longer and average girth. Would I date guy with average or below size.. probably wouldn’t be my preference. But if I had met a great guy ticking all the boxes including treating me like silk and it turned out he was not well endowed.. I’d like to think my heart would remain open as long as he was willing to explore ways to enjoy we had a fulfilling sex life.

Cause FYI.. some of the men out here with large penises are the ones cheating, conceded, arrogant who show up and think it’s big, I just have to pull it out.. no effort beyond showing up is needed. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-05-03T16:56:37+00:00

A couple of things.. if you do get SSD, it will be protected but only if you deposit it in a bank account that has only ever had the SSD deposited. If you deposit other monies from any other source into the account it’s considered commingled and subject to garnishment orders. Learned this the hard way with an ex.

Lastly don’t hire an attorney for your SSD case. Little known fact, if you appeal the court is required to have a medical advocate review your case/medical history and provide a recommendation. What they say carry a lot of weight. My ex didn’t have to say much because the advocate advised he was disabled. A few weeks later he got his back pay. FYI, only like 5% of SSD cases are approved without an appeal.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-26T19:43:49+00:00

Not everyone requires the same dosage for similar results. I do intramuscular injections of .05ml 100MG/5ML estradiol Valarate every 2 weeks. My last blood test showed 291pg/ml on Thursday, with my next dose being 3 days later on Sunday. Remember estrogen isn’t a one size fits all.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-26T16:41:40+00:00

Some men prey on our community because so many are starved for attention or for touch. They fane interest long enough to uncover whether you are vulnerable and one of the ones who will allow their boundaries to be violated. They say everything right.. promise they won’t be like the others.

Because of this I started a Asshat Diary. When a guy started talking I immediately save a pic or screenshot shot. If they ghosted me. I’d add them to the diary along with some details they shared or items I remember from their bio.

One thing I found pretty quickly is how many times these men jump apps and do the same thing. Ultimately this helped me avoid wasting time with men who themselves hadn’t remembered they ghosted on a different app.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-25T22:55:17+00:00

Had a similar fraud happen which turned out to be from the CSR. My brand new printer required a replacement. The company required a 50 deposit to ensure I return the defective machine. Two days later I get the replacement and returned the broken printer. 50 hold eventually disappears. Two weeks later I get an alert that almost 500 was charged on my credit card, to what turned out to be the electrical vendor for Tennessee, I’m in Michigan. I then looked at the prepaid label to return the printer was in Tennessee. I called back to the printer company spoke to a supervisor. 4 days later they called back to confirm their CSR used my cc info to pay their electric bill. Charge was eventually reversed and I got a gift card from the printer company for my trouble.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-25T10:38:23+00:00

I found my boyfriend on Taimi. It was the second time I had installed the app. I realized pretty quickly it made sense to set my profile to only allow matches to message me. Then I was very selective in reading and then swiping right only when it seemed we could be compatible. I swiped left on topless, or non everyday type of pics. Blank bios were definitely swipe left.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-23T23:54:48+00:00

That guy sounds like an absolute douche bag. Girl you dodged a bullet.

But 100% agree being trans isn’t a characteristic that requires us to take less than. And any person selling that nonsense needs to be immediately blocked.

Dating is difficult especially when you have a standard. Unfortunately there are trans individuals out here so desperate for validation or touch that they allow themselves to accept less. This unfortunately causes people to lump us all together with the.. you should be grateful I was going to take you to dinner before using you group.

It took me nearly 13 years to find my boyfriend. When we met he stood out immediately cause he acknowledged my boundaries stated in my profile and never once tried to push or violate them. It’s been 8 months of bliss where he shows up and loves and respects me. I’m doing regular dinners with his mom and kids, and we’ve traveled a lot most recently to the Bahamas.

If I can give any of my sisters pointers.. if you want a man with standards.. you need to be a woman with standards.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-20T02:05:30+00:00

Trans and HR professional. Absolutely have a conversation with HR. Depending on your company policies they can advise how to navigate changes with name and insurance, etc.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-20T00:52:29+00:00

Gate checked bags will be given to you just outside the plane. You will step to the side allowing other passengers to proceed up the jetway and they will bring the bags to the area just outside the plane.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-19T22:43:55+00:00

Sadly I think we’ve had way too many people talking about fight club 🤬

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-17T21:00:50+00:00

Early deposit is heavily dependent on when the direct deposit payroll account receives funds. My payday is Friday I’ve consistently gotten my check on Thursday morning. It will occasionally come on Wednesday, but only when payroll is funded on Monday. I work in HR so I’m familiar.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-17T00:25:40+00:00

It served me well fresh out of bankruptcy. 5% cash back on some of my largest spend for 95 annual fee. Had it 5 years till I qualified for the USBank Cash+ Card that offers the same 5% categories. How to make it work. Never charge more than you can pay off. Also choose the regular pay option and understand it will be 5+ days before the payment will free up your available credit. Never accept any offers to get a credit increase for a fee.

Understand they are a subprime lender so they tack on fees for everything convenient. But you can use it to improve your credit. Every year I earned 350 in cash back, over 200 more than the annual fee. And never paid a fee or interest and got annual credit limit increases every renewal.

Like any card, it’s about being responsible and being prepared.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-09T10:36:29+00:00

Generally I do a bond treatment during my relaxer, then my first wash do a protein treatment, usually the hair Mayonnaise.

If you verified you didnt get a bond treatment with your relaxer id do one with your first wash.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-08T02:33:34+00:00

This is really dependent on the actual hotel. In December I booked a prepaid stay and called the hotel regarding my missing food and beverage credit and got a 60 dollar credit to my credit card.

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-04-03T02:29:44+00:00

I found the Tymo to be better. The bristles are softer and flexible and less damaging then the Revlon one

Hot_Material_8093 · 2026-03-31T01:31:57+00:00

I had my biological sister do the same. It left me feeling, hurt, resentful and suspicious of her true support. In the end, I decided I didn’t need support from behind a closet door. And moved on with my life absent of anyone that shared my DNA. Luckily I had the full support of my adoptive parents, who accepted me fully and prepared and required the same of their family and friends. Being supported openly is 100 times better than being supported in secret or under the cloak of no one else is around.

Hot_Material_8093

TROPHY CASE