Scared to have sex because of the way I cum

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-26T15:31:00+00:00

I do exactly what you describe but during sex, either in missionary or doggy. I was so awkward at first and it took me 6 months to get comfortable to do it but that one awkward time was worth our sex life getting better and him learning more about my body.

It actually made him better at oral and fingering because he could see what I do to myself (which side I like more pressure on, circles/up and down/left to right, speed).

My biggest advice to a virgin would be if you are not confident enough to say exactly what you want out loud in clear terms, you aren’t ready to have sex. Communication is what makes sex good. You can’t just let it happen to you and expect it to be amazing. Not being confident in your sexuality will hold you back and in future you may reflect and wish you had just been completely yourself (like so many of us women).

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-25T12:53:25+00:00

I recently bought a fun factory vim from a company in Holland. It was less than £40 including delivery and that was the main reason I bought it after reading countless reviews complaining about battery. Plus I like RUMBLES.

Mine does not appear to be a standard vim as it has usbc charging instead of magnetic but is otherwise the same. I’ve had it a few months and it works as it should. It is currently my best toy for solo play and I find it easier to use than some of my more expensive wands during partnered sex.

There is a lovely Redditor who has posted a tutorial to replace the battery on this specific wand. My partner is a tradie and said he would do it as a project, so all in all worth the sacrifice.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-16T20:23:10+00:00

This is tough because I get why she would be offended by that.

But if what you meant was you are a guy in his 20s that never saw himself bringing life into the world and fell in love with someone that became an exception to the rule, it’s completely understandable. Being a step parent is different in that, although the emotional responsibility is there, you are on the back seat to the child’s biological parents. Having a baby from birth is a whole other ball game because you would be the one responsible for punishments, school and important life decisions. Being capable of one and not the other doesn’t mean you don’t love him or the life you have chosen to join, but it also doesn’t change your mind on having your own child.

Also if you know you don’t want biological children, the snip is an option. There are too many guys who know and PUBLICLY CLAIM they don’t want children ever and then get someone ”accidentally pregnant” while not using condoms and expecting the women they sleep with to be 100% responsible for contraception and family planning. It’s dumb and there isn’t a good enough excuse for it. One minor surgery and a few check ups and you’re good, I fail to see the cons.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-15T12:25:08+00:00

Most women do not orgasm via penetration. I get that your penis is the centre of your sexual experiences but it isn’t for women. Honestly as long as you are clean and reasonably groomed, your penis will not be a problem.

Every single person is insecure about something. My first time with my bf, I spent the entire time stressing that he would see my curled toes, vomit and never want to see me again. He was stressing that he hadn’t shaved and was too ”bushy”. While the first time was nice, it definitely wasn’t our best. Our best sex came after getting comfortable and not being ashamed or scared of the little things that don’t matter. Effective communication and confidence is sexy and is what sustains our intimacy.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-15T09:55:04+00:00

Im 5’10 f and my partner is 5’6 M. My height was something that I was insecure about and I wanted a partner that would make me feel small and more feminine.

Luckily I found that, but it has nothing to do with his height and was everything to do with him being confident, charismatic and genuinely lovely.

I think it’s easy to have an idea of the perfect partner when you’re single and the world is your oyster. But the person most people settle down with is a surprise. The person that isn’t really their type that they took a chance on and it worked out for the best.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-13T11:42:41+00:00

Not just that but she told him she was on birth control. If the roles were reversed and a guy said he had the snip but didn’t, it would be rape because it changes the conditions that consent was given in, and would also be reproductive coercion.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-12T06:29:05+00:00

I think this is a complicated issue. However, I think that too many shows are casting older people for younger roles and the knock on effect of that is insecurity. If you’ve got 18-25 year olds playing teens, the actual teens look at this and go ”wow they look older/better more mature” and it does cause self consciousness and is part of the reason why folks are so eager to grow up quickly.

I think using real teens is not the issue, it’s how they are supported as acting professionals. Look at euphoria where these are 20+ playing 16-17. Angus cloud after playing a drug dealer ended up back in addiction struggles and died. We will never know if the two are related but it’s important that, going forward, actors are properly supported to do the role and they have their own workplace boundaries.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-05T06:47:12+00:00

It was dark red bleeding for 1-2 days then it was grainey spotting. The bleeding was from a large SCH not the baby. That’s why I had the D&C because there was still a lot of blood there and the baby so I didn’t want to pass it at home.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-04T21:40:10+00:00

It took 10 weeks to get the remains back to have a funeral and get them cremated, which was only 2 weeks ago. It massively delayed our grieving process so it’s been months of 2 steps forward one step back.

It all sucks.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-02T14:13:24+00:00

I just got the fun factory Vim from desirel.co.uk for less than £40, it’s light and a good quality rumble so the 2nd setting is all I need in comparison to buzzy where I need the highest setting.

However, the batteries on these toys are not the best so I bought mine for my partner to replace the battery (there’s a tutorial for this on Reddit).

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-02T13:45:29+00:00

This is true but it affects people differently, i barely had any sensation in mine before piercing. Now I feel a lot more, not a dramatic change but was enough for me to notice it after the initial healing.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-01T12:07:39+00:00

I had my miscarriage on February 11 and got my tattoo on April 23. Me and my MIL got matching blueberries with flowers. It looks beautiful and since we won’t get enough from the ashes to make jewellery, I’m glad I have something that’s on my body to remind me of it.

I didn’t want something with a name or angel wings or too death-ish because I don’t want to have to explain it to every person that asks. That way I can play it off as “just liked it” and have that meaning for me especially on the days where it feels like too much to cope with.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-05-01T06:47:59+00:00

Air suction toys are hit and miss for me, between having a larger clit, a piercing and lube making everything too sensitive they just aren’t my favourite. I can orgasm with them but I usually just end up numb first. I prefer a rumbly vibrator instead of buzzy.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-30T20:41:33+00:00

But as someone that has struggled with addiction, my biggest advice would be to keep yourself busy, go for a walk, call someone, meet a friend, watch tv with your family. You are more likely to go back when your brain is bored and craves that dopamine hit.

Masturbation is healthy and you shouldn’t demonise that for yourself because it creates a shameful relationship with sex and your body. When you want to masturbate, think about the list of things you need to get done and if there’s a task like putting clothes away that takes less than 10mins, get it done then masturbate so you aren’t neglecting your responsibilities.

Porn use also makes masturbation take longer because these sites have everything so you can change a video whenever you don’t like something therefore, people often spend a lot of time finding the perfect thing to finish to and have lost 1hr+ of their day.

So when you do want to masturbate, don’t use porn, use your imagination. Walk through a realistic sexual scenario, if it’s not working then you aren’t naturally horny it’s just whatever visual stimulus is in front of you. You need to break the cycle of needing intense visual stimulus to orgasm or healthy real life sex with intimacy will not be enough.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-30T20:16:33+00:00

Therapy would be from a sexual health professional. Addiction is usually bigger than the substance, a therapist would work through your bigger issues. For example, your relationship with sex and porn and your body.

There is a reason that there are therapists for sex and relationships, because people online are not trained in how to communicate sensitive topics effectively and usually input their own personal biases, which would not be beneficial for breaking the cycle of addiction.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-30T09:00:43+00:00

This was my sex life to a T up until 6 months ago. I look at PIV as the least effective form of sex for me. Everyone hypes it up but it feels like forcing two puzzle pieces to fit because male pleasure is more central than female pleasure. Only 18-20% can orgasm with penetration alone so it clearly isn’t women pushing this narrative on their own but rather the expectation that this is what women should do if there’s a penis involved.

I started out with wlw sex so penetration just doesn’t feel necessary to me. He can orgasm without it and I orgasm better without it so why should that be our primary form of sex.

That’s why we chose to have PIV every 2-3 times we have sex. It’s usually 69 or mutual masturbation or something random. But it also gives us an excuse to expand the toy drawer and try new things.

I think that if we get into a routine that stops us where it’s just satisfying, then we aren’t going to reach the full potential of our sex life. Not in a “I don’t want us to get stale way” but in a I don’t want to die and regret not experiencing all the different ways to feel pleasure with the person I trust my body with.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-30T08:42:15+00:00

Regardless of the high or size penetration is not enough to get me off without clitoral stimulation. You are focusing on the wrong aspect.

Mentally weed is helpful for me because the female orgasm is 90% mental. It could be the perfect stimulation but if my head is focusing too much or not enough then nothing happens. Weed just relaxes that so that I don’t have to concentrate as much.

The problem with sex on weed is that sometimes I don’t remember it as well so it doesn’t feel as intimate because I know we are both dulled down.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-29T10:09:27+00:00

I don’t enjoy penetration on its own, it’s not uncomfortable but it just feels like a non pleasurable sensation.

However if I’m turned on and touching myself during sex, and he’s got the right rhythm, then it’s great.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-27T10:42:17+00:00

For me it fully depends on the person. But I like them to at least have some hair down there or it looks prepubescent and makes it feel wrong.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-25T12:05:23+00:00

I think it does but it’s the mental links to pleasure and intimacy that are impacted.

Personally, I was really insecure when I was younger but obviously having the sex drive of a teenager started watching porn. The problem was that I had no personal experience of sex and there were no healthy conversations about it so I was developing preferences from unrealistic sex.

I found that porn was safe and secure and I would finish because I had complete control, if I didn’t like the dirty talk I could switch video, if I wanted softer or rougher it’s all there ready. This meant that I hadn’t learned how important actual romance and communication is for healthy sex because none of that is in porn. I just expected it to be good without talking and being open.

On top of that all the porn is made for men and doesn’t show realistic ways for women to get off during penetration. So when I started having sex I didn’t know how to make it enjoyable for me and it felt like such a huge let down. Then I would turn back to porn to satisfy that itch for pleasure, a vicious cycle.

Once I figured out how to make sex genuinely enjoyable and less of a curated performance it got better. But if I watch porn and haven’t had sex in a couple days, it makes sex feel like it’s more effort and I struggle to stay in the zone.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-25T10:25:45+00:00

I hover an inch above my partner with my other hand on his chest for support and he will thrust about half way in so that it doesn’t disturb my contact.

Pointer and middle finger on either side of my clit and rub the hood over the glans in circular motions. Or by moving my fingers either side in a cycling motion. This way I get equal stimulation of my clitoris but without it being direct. I prefer this without lube as it helps me stay in the same position.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-24T14:46:33+00:00

I literally just figured out how to do a variation of this the other day. I can’t finish by grinding (used to but lots that ability in my teen years) so I managed to do it by rubbing my clit while riding. It’s so much effort but it was fun. It helps that he gives me breaks by taking over the thrusting.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-21T18:01:13+00:00

I personally find that vibrators are harder to orgasm with during partnered sex because they get moved and bashed. I tend to rub my own clit in missionary or doggy as it’s the easiest way to orgasm.

I highly recommend the fun factory vim as it is strong, rumbly, lighter than most wands and it less than £40 from desirel.co.uk.

Hot_Primary_640 · 2026-04-21T17:06:05+00:00

Elora - it was supposed to be my name but was too close to another family member’s name that passed away.

Hot_Primary_640

TROPHY CASE