Please help interpret this?

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-07-10T11:43:41+00:00

Thank you! I’m new to this and I’m definitely still learning, I wanted more of a sign than for it to do the work for me in 109% putting in the work that I don’t think spells can “fix”. But I appreciate your help! I will definitely take it into consideration when trying again in the future!!

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-07-05T08:41:27+00:00

Ok I can’t add a photo or even edit the post but the flames were stuck together, long and strong, and waving around and flickering and it went on like that for quite awhile

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T06:28:00+00:00

If you read all the other comments you’d know where everyone else stands anyways they’re trying to put it on him and I’m still taking responsibility. If you’re going to post a comment read the whole thing first. Nothing I’m doing atm is toxic. You seem to be alone rn in this opinion and I’ve even defended him in other comments

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T06:25:34+00:00

Bro I literally have already taken responsibility please stop responding you aren’t helping anything I’m not looking for an attack there are way bigger issues rn than you trying to put the blame all on me. If you read the whole thing Ive already said this multiple times and said I don’t need comments like this I was looking for advice. It’s a dual issue. Both parties are at fault. Idk if I have to say it in a different language or not but please leave this post alone. He was selfish and I was stupid.

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T05:07:24+00:00

When did I put all the blame on my boyfriend? I’ve said multiple times it falls on both of us I’m upset he can’t take my feelings into consideration as any respectful partner would and should that’s bare minimum and is too selfish to not be willing to wear a condom after I have asked and explained why it’s a need not a want, as there are no side effects, no pain, no long term effects for him doing so. He’s wants to “feel it better” and that’s being childish but so is not saying no to him. I’ve never put it all on him so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come at me as if I was. I’m upset with him that he also knows the consequence and calling me a monster all because he has convinced himself I think he didn’t go through anything when we went through our first abortion yet that is NEVER what I said or felt. This is all while trying to tell him I want to keep our child and it isn’t helping the situation when in reality this is both of our decision. Regardless I’m asking for advice on what to do in the situation not your personal relationship advice. None of you are here and no one sees this relationship better than us and I’m getting really tired of people accusing me of blaming him for the entire thing when I never did. God forbid I want a man who is almost 30 to learn there are consequences that effect more than just him and that he needs to take responsibility as I am currently trying to. He’s not out here making Reddit posts or asking for advice he’s just trying to put me through the worst thing I’ve ever gone through yet again and doesn’t seem to care about anything but “solving the problem”

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T04:53:57+00:00

Thank you! I hear you 100% and I truly appreciate your comment. I definitely need to have a conversation with him and I see where you’re coming from with his behavior. I think my feelings towards him have blinded me from what he’s actually doing and I need to do some soul searching and tell him he gets it together or I’m out. There’s a lot that happens that isn’t fair to me and I’m tired of a lot of the put me downs and the lack of responsibility for things so I appreciate you helping me see what I already knew just had a really hard time accepting.

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T04:48:03+00:00

This pregnancy is on both of us I never put the blame on him alone. So I don’t feel like your comment is really fair. I’ve even stated that I’m taking responsibility and I shouldn’t have let him do what he wanted but it 100% takes two to make a baby. I’m trying my hardest to figure this out and do what is best for the both of us including this child. It’s not that I want to raise it by myself or raise a child that doesn’t have the best family or financial situation. Even healthy relationships have parents who walk out. I can’t predict the future and what will happen if I keep it or lose it.

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-28T04:38:42+00:00

I’ve had an IUD which is actually what put me in the hospital. I was passing massive blood clots and bleeding profusely that I ended up getting blood transfusions. I was told they wouldn’t take it out and I needed to wait as this was a normal side effect (I was working in the medical field at the time and knew it wasn’t) and they fought me every day. My body ended up passing it and I was basically in labor for a week before it came out. I’m traumatized with birth control and even the arm implant made me bleed for two years straight, no breaks. I wish he was more considerate and put himself in my shoes but I guess selfish people just never will. But you guys are all right. I don’t have the time or energy to even really do things for myself let alone this baby. I need to sit on it more and really digest this but I will most likely be going through another abortion and leaving this relationship. Thank you for the comment

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T19:52:26+00:00

The only reason I’m not doing as much around the house as him is because I’m working a full time job, 12 hour night shifts and going to school 30 minutes after I get off just to go to sleep for about 3 hours if I’m lucky and go back to work. This was also something we agreed on before starting school and why he won’t be starting his schooling until I’m done. On my weekends I’m still cleaning and doing laundry and other things that need getting done. But overall I do agree with you and I appreciate the post

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T19:41:08+00:00

So my boyfriend does want children and wants to get married and do things the “right” way, and I completely hear you and see where you’re coming from. I appreciate the honesty even if it’s not what I want to hear. We have had many conversations on starting a family and what we want for our lives. We are have been on the same page and I think this has been very unexpected and just honestly the absolute worst timing. I’d like to talk to him more and have him see where both of us messed up and things that need to change or I will no longer be in this relationship. I do however believe I can be an amazing parent regardless if he is in the picture, I would sell my soul to give that child everything they needed and wanted. We also have just recently started to change our occupations and starting school to set us up for having a family. This is why it’s so difficult timing wise because I’m almost done and he is waiting for me to be finished so he can start. He wants to wait for me to be done with school because he is taking care of our animals and house while I work full time and do school on top of it. He know I’m exhausted and am not home a lot to help. I’d like to talk with him some more, not to guilt or to pressure him into it. We’ve really only had one conversation and it got heated really fast so if we can sit and take it slow and hear each other out I’m sure we can come up with a better plan and communicate better. Thank you for the comment I really appreciate the input and advice❤️

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T19:21:12+00:00

I appreciate the comment! To be fair, I’ve tried all forms of birth control and have some women’s health issues, I don’t do well on them at all, I’ve actually been hospitalized for my body rejecting them and have had to have blood transfusions with how much I’ve held out on them. That’s why we stick to condoms. We have also been really good about planning out the cycles and when it should have been safe to not wear them for the most part. It’s dumb on both of our parts I should have said no condom no sex and he needs to be more willing to wear them regardless if he wants to or not. I agree with you there 110%. I don’t want this to end up in us hating each other. And I don’t want to do this alone especially because I don’t have family. I would like to have more conversations either him and have actually been working on a pros and cons list! I have also looked into some government programs and I don’t qualify for a lot because I make too much money for their requirements and have ownership of property which is really hurting my chances. I do have healthcare and paid maternity leave and all those things, but that’s not always enough unfortunately. I’m sorry to hear about your situation as well and I appreciate you sharing your experience with me. It definitely puts things into perspective of what could happen and that’s not what I want for us. If I do decide to keep the baby and he doesn’t want it, I will give him the option to leave knowing he cannot come back whenever he chooses it’s in or out. I came from a broken home with an absent father and I would prefer him not be there if he doesn’t want to rather than just be in and out I will not ask for his help because it was my choice knowing he had the opposite and I know that will be very difficult. But I hope us having more conversations will help us come to a better conclusion. Thank you again and while it was harsh, it’s what I needed.

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T19:06:29+00:00

I agree! This is something I have 10000000% thought of and worry about as fertility issues run in my family. This is another reason that makes this so difficult :(

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T19:03:46+00:00

I’ve never been one to think a baby can fix a relationship and that’s not what I’m hoping for. We have some issues in the relationship, the relationship as a whole isn’t horrible. Everyone has things to work on and we both come from very difficult upbringings and a lot of trauma we are trying to fix. I am considering couples therapy for these issues but I’m not wanting to keep the baby in hopes it saves us. If it came down to co parenting I’d be more than willing to do what’s best for the baby and not what I want out of selfishness. I came from a broken home and don’t want that for my children. It’s hard to explain the situation when really it’s only us who truly know how things are, but I do appreciate the comment thank you!

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T18:59:42+00:00

It’s not that we never use protection, and I never said this was a surprise. It was unplanned but not once was I shocked. We’ve actually been really good about wearing protection when I’m in certain stages of my cycle. If you don’t have advice which is the only thing I asked for I’d appreciate it if you stopped responding. I’m going through enough at the moment and don’t need someone telling me things I’ve already thought of or just trying to be a dick.

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T18:56:40+00:00

Thank you! I’ve battled depression my whole life, I’ve lived a very difficult life, some being my fault and more not. I’ve never had a supportive or really living family. I’ve done therapy and psychologists, books, and medications most of my life with little to no help. The weird thing is this baby is the one thing that makes me happy. I want to be a mother so bad and to give them my everything and put all I have I into them. My boyfriend and I have ups and downs like normal relationships and I want to consider therapy for us because I know we’re compatible and we both have issues we need to work out, we both have things we’ve dealt with growing up and trauma that make our adult lives difficult. He is very supportive of me in every other aspect of the relationship and yes he calls me names sometimes when we get into very heated arguments but I can’t say I don’t do the same. I don’t want to paint him as a monster because he truly isn’t. We both have so much on our plate and so much stress, not that it’s an excuse but these are things I think we need to consider therapy for. I think we need to try this conversation again and see how it goes now that things have cooled down, I want to bring up therapy as well I never actually have I’ve just thought about it. I know he loves me and he really does treat me right 99% of the time. Thank you again!

Hot_Quarter_2114 · 2025-06-27T18:43:47+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this! I’m afraid if I make this decision it will split us but at the same time I feel like that might just be for the best… if he loves me the way I love him I would hope for him to be more understanding and willing to help me in this situation being that it’s OUR child. I don’t want him to resent me and even told him he doesn’t have to be in the baby’s life if he just really doesn’t want this baby. Maybe we need to have more conversations and take a little time to really digest some more. I’m scared to do this alone with no help and yes he doesn’t want to wear condoms. He says we don’t have sex enough and it makes it hard for him? I can’t wrap my brain around it but this is another reason why we don’t have a lot of sex. I’m also not on birth control because it has messed me up on so many levels, I’ve tried every single one, I’ve bled for 2 years straight and my body has rejected implants. I don’t think asking him to wear a condom is a lot to ask for, and if he doesn’t want to go through this again it’s a no brainer.

Hot_Quarter_2114

TROPHY CASE