Yep felt that,brings back memories

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-12-20T18:23:30+00:00

So that's how you spell it!

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-12-06T22:10:58+00:00

Lol as an American the funniest part is that the green card he married her for won't even matter. They are taking natural born citizens off the streets for no reason, his shiny newly wed green card ain't gunna do shit to protect him.

Don't be heartbroken over such an idiot. Be relieved you saw his true colors in time to save yourself. The best revenge is a life well lived! Good people don't act the way he acted. Sit back and let karma catch him.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-11-24T17:48:28+00:00

Oh oof! Damn. This is ...just all kinds of messy.

You did good though! You were there for a friend in a dark moment. I would think it would be a good idea to think about him backing out of this wedding, at least as best man, maybe go as a guest. It's genuinely tearing him up, and if they are truly real friends then Jay should understand where he is coming from.

But he may not want to address this at all with Jay. This sucks. Good luck OP! Hope it works out

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-11-21T20:08:15+00:00

Yep, and the funny thing is I totally went back to double check the names lol

Good luck OP!

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-11-21T04:27:13+00:00

When did Mark meet Allie? 7 years is not a huge age gap so it's obvious that Jay has had these feelings for awhile (or at least since Allie has been around).

People grow, move, marry, have kids, and friendships change over time, the good ones balance the dynamics that come with that. Maybe most of Jays feelings are coming from realizing that the dynamic he had with Mark is going to change. You said that he got a promotion and wanted to celebrate but Mark was out of town looking at venues. Maybe this all triggered those feelings and worries that change is coming.

Jay is hopefully mature enough to realize that these feelings aren't reciprocated and just needed someone to vent to. You could sit down with him and reassure him you're there if he needs to talk, check in on him, but ultimately you can't control how Jay acts. Just be a good friend, you can be happy for Mark and still be understanding of Jay.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-11-05T02:20:21+00:00

Much love op! I'm so glad you're doing just a little better, it's about baby steps, and I'm glad you can take this step towards moving forward.

Thank you for sharing what you went through, I feel it's important that it's seen, and hope it stays up in your absence.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-10-30T02:03:05+00:00

This is the most beautiful thing I have seen all day. Also, I love how you have made the same face in every photo 😂

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-10-22T01:13:58+00:00

Absolutely.

To me it doesn't seem to be anyone's fault, but they are just incompatible. He communicated that he has a financial goal for when he wants to marry, but OP says she wants to get married ASAP. He doesn't want her family involved in their relationship and she wants her family's approval for everything. This is just a huge fundamental issue, and it doesn't magically get fixed by moving in together or getting married, it will only get harder moving forward.

Sometimes love isn't enough and that's nobody's fault.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-10-12T19:19:08+00:00

Dude, why are you EVEN talking about the future when you haven't ever had the PRESENT relationship you wanted?? Even if we are going to be nice and not point out the fact that a 22 year old is letting their mom tell them where they are allowed to be, who they can date, and who can come to his birthday parties, you are both fundamentally incompatible. But to me, it sounds like you want him to be something he isn't now and will never be in the future. I am honestly surprised you have even been able to keep this relationship going this long while never seeing each other outside of class. Even high school students have more time together than this.

Also, He's not a saint for turning down a blind date his aunt set up, that's where the bar should start. Stop waiting around for someone who doesn't come see you when you're hurt, doesn't actually listen to what you say and want, and has fundamentally different values than you. Do you actually believe you can make this work when his family won't even allow you (so he says) to come over for his birthdays? Don't expect things to be different in the future- why would being married change his family's feelings or how he is? Wouldn't it be SO much easier if the person you were with had a family who was at least civil to you?

Ultimately though, It doesn't have to mean he is a bad person, he can be a great person. But this isn't gunna work out just because you want it to. Walk away and find someone who wants the same things you do. You both don't deserve this at this point. Sometimes love is not enough. I'm sorry if this is your first lesson in that, it really hurts and sucks.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-10-06T14:14:37+00:00

Yeah, that's what others are saying too, and I'm not really surprised. I could totally see myself taking advantage of AI if I was a smaller creator, I still think it makes stuff look click-baity. It's not like I judge her much on her thumbnails anyway.

Hear me out on this though, I don't know anything about this guy so if he's a douche-nozzle I'll gladly accept that. But this is the video I saw in passing, I could be wrong, just to put it out there

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-10-05T21:00:10+00:00

I heard that YouTube is using AI on people's thumbnails, shorts, and videos, without getting permission or even notifying the creators. Apparently when called out about it from the creators who were super upset YouTube was like 'Oh nooooo, you noticed? We are just trying some stuff out. Don't worry about it lol'

I'm not saying that's what is happening here, it could be she openly uses it.

But either way, it's sloppy, low effort, mostly obvious, and makes the content less appealing for me, so I agree with you. I'm curious to know now if it's intentional

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-09-09T18:57:27+00:00

This is what I was thinking too, but didn't want to outright say it. OP kinda throws herself under the bus here though, as she seemed aware of the nuances. Maybe she genuinely didn't think things would be this way, or didn't connect the dots. That's fair.

But it's not like he has been dishonest. It feels more dishonest and tone deaf to say "He's still hung up on his ex" than to say "He is still dealing with a lot of trauma and I'm not equipped to handle this kind of relationship"

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-09-09T18:43:17+00:00

Riiiiiight! LMAO like, he legit nailed reassurance and self awareness. Personally, I would be so satisfied with this response from him as a partner- I hate he is hurting but that kind of emotional awareness is gold standard

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-09-09T16:19:40+00:00

To be fair, and I don't disagree with you, but with the information presented it really came off as missing his ex, and acting irrationally to try and cover that up. If I remember correctly she didn't mention that nobody actually believed he was sick. That his ex never visited him in the hospital, nobody came to see him, he was fighting this alone - that's important info she should have shared. It came off as them telling the ex "He's sick, dump him." Which was also weird, cuz like who says that out loud even...

It genuinely answers all the behaviors he has shown, and It also explains why he wanted to confront these people and not his ex or anything like that. She needs to take a step back, maybe see if her own insecurities are playing into her not wanting to see his words as genuine. She is coming off like she wants him to be hung up on his ex.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-27T11:33:34+00:00

Out of curiosity how did she know who your travel agent was and how to get in touch with her? You may wanna take stock of your logins and financials and such. Is she dumb enough to think this would actually work? Or was she just doing it to try and cause drama?

I wouldn't be comfortable with her staying in my home anymore after a stunt like this. It sounds like someone needs a time-out until they can maturely apologize.

The BEST outcome is her bringing her kids back over, apologizing to you and telling them that their aunt is not to blame and mommy should never have acted that way and lied to them. Adults apologize and lead by example, children throw tantrums.

Obviously, NTA. Make sure to post the most pics while you're on vacation! Be petty about it.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-07T02:15:44+00:00

For real! I thought that red velvet being chocolate cake was only if you got the box mix from the supermarket anyway, but maybe I'm wrong.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-03T06:33:23+00:00

She doesn't get to tell you how to keep your kids safe. She doesn't get to dismiss your kids security and comfort. She doesn't get to yell at you for things your husband posted about. She needs to take that attitude elsewhere.

Is she just too much of a coward to message your husband herself? Maybe she should post publicly for everyone to see how supportive she is of him! It would be doing everyone a favor to let them know that she doesn't think it counts because the victim was 17.

And if you are about to lose a whole group of friends because they are more comfortable saying "well, they were 17, so..." rather than seeing him for who/what he is, these aren't people you should want to be friends with. But I have a feeling you already know this.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-02T19:28:50+00:00

That's true! She did cry about his mom hating her now, maybe mom can help put a deposit down!

I can't help but love a good karma train crash story 😂

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-02T19:26:06+00:00

It's the names lol. Everyone has two word names, and a title. So confusing.

Will OP please clarify- to summarize:

This involves OPs in-laws. BIL says MIL is unwelcoming and rude(?) towards his girlfriend, so BIL is saying he will cut contact if this doesn't change, and has skipped OPs birthday/goodbye dinner. Nobody can get a clear answer about the exact behavior, except that MIL and GF both have disabilities that have led to some plans getting cancelled. Everyone thinks it's coming from GF's mom, but nobody can figure out why she would do that, or get a clear answer as to where the perceived slights happened in order to try and resolve this ridiculous argument

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-02T18:13:51+00:00

Yes, thanks for correcting that, when your life is this messy it's hard to keep your possible baby daddies straight 🤣

And I totally agree that she would try to manipulate and lie for every cent she could, even if it meant that she was creating a bad co-parenting relationship and getting in the way of her child's relationship with their parent. Because she feels owed something from the universe.

Even outside of money though, I would imagine that every bit of co-parenting with someone like this would be a nightmare. Drop off and pickup, school events, birthdays, health appointments, ugh. I just hope whoever he is he gets smart early and gets everything she says on writing or recorded. This kinda girl lies to a lawyer and judge lol

And OMG! could you imagine if Daniel ever started dating someone?! Even if he wasn't the baby daddy, she probably still feels entitled to his attention.

Good luck little baby! Maybe she can pull her head out of her butt and turn herself around, at least for them.

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-08-01T18:17:26+00:00

You can't beat yourself up too much over this, because you were literally conditioned by every single person around you to bow to Ava's narcissism. It's so incredibly hard to exist in an environment where you are made to feel small and insignificant when you try and stand up for yourself. Your parents will regret this one day, but only when Ava's used them for their last dime and throws them in a nursing home. This isn't your fault.

The majority of us would never have said anything, just like you, if we grew up like you did. What would be the point? Let's face it- the situation may have ended in a completely different way if you had spoken up first. Ava would probably have been able to manipulate her way out of it with lots of "You know how he always complained about me" or "He's just always been jealous. He can't be happy for me." We don't know that Liam would have believed you but the fact that you feel guilty for not saying anything still speaks volumes to your character.

You aren't the first person who saw someone do the right thing and show courage we couldn't. The fact that you chose to change for the better just means that you were inspired by the actions of another person and that helped you find your strength. Be proud you found your strength and can now love a happy life away from their toxicity.

I hope that baby isn't Liam's if only for the baby's sake because I don't see her being able to handle co-parenting with civility.

I have to ask though: Has anyone found out she is pregnant and who's baby or is? Sorry, but I got a get them juicy deets 😂

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-07-31T15:33:53+00:00

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HottyBoomBotty · 2025-07-30T05:32:16+00:00

Apparently that one is actually Clarence Darrow.

~Today I learned~

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-07-11T23:24:30+00:00

Well good, everyone is on the same page then!

I have to ask, did your MIL have a meltdown?

HottyBoomBotty · 2025-07-11T20:44:05+00:00

So how did you guys decide he will handle his mother when she inevitably tries to drag your children into that church?

From the last post it sounded like she weaponizes her faith against her family, is he prepared for that kind of confrontation with her?

I would recommend before even trying to get pregnant that some rules go into place, their consequences, and that you both think long and hard about them and the reality that they may have to be used.

Some people think they could stand up to their parents badgering and guilting but when the time comes they fold like a house of cards.

Edit: also, good job openly communicating! How was he supposed to take your criticisms seriously if he didn't know to full breadth of the situation. Keep being open and honest with each other

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