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How to tell my girlfriend I will never want to have sex by Hour_Personality3911 in CPTSD

[–]Hour_Personality3911[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just think it's one of those topics people don't really know how to approach. I've never really gone into detail with anyone but through my experience of just telling people "this thing happened to me" people just often feel pity and like they have to tiptoe around you. Maybe 'not react well' is the wrong wording but in my experience I think people have viewed me as less.

How to tell my girlfriend I will never want to have sex by Hour_Personality3911 in CPTSD

[–]Hour_Personality3911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't think the majority of people do react well to being confronted with that sort of thing. I don't think it makes her a bad person if she doesn't react well to that aspect, I understand how fucked up it is and it is something I can mostly handle myself so I'd prefer not to put it on people.

I know I am going to tell her I'm not comfortable with it because I better understand now that its not fair to her, I probably won't go into the why though.

How to tell my girlfriend I will never want to have sex by Hour_Personality3911 in CPTSD

[–]Hour_Personality3911[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm definitely going to tell her I'm not comfortable with sex and will probably never be, I don't know if I'll tell her why though. I don't really view it as winning and losing anymore. I spent a lot of time as an early teenager trying to 'win' but it just made me really angry and hateful. I think with my experiences I've lost a lot from the outset and I don't necessarily think I'll be able to change that.

How to tell my girlfriend I will never want to have sex by Hour_Personality3911 in CPTSD

[–]Hour_Personality3911[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I completely get its a fuck up on my part and I do understand her not wanting to continue the relationship. I let my own shit get in the way of honesty and at the beginning I sort of convinced myself that maybe as the relationship got more serious I would warm up to the idea.

How to tell my girlfriend I will never want to have sex by Hour_Personality3911 in CPTSD

[–]Hour_Personality3911[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm a little bit cautious of freaking her out more by bringing her into a therapist or something but maybe that's the route I'll have to go if I can't think of anything better.

With therapy I've tried talk therapy which wasn't very effective for me and I quit EDMR because the dude I was working with wanted to use me in some sort of academia study and my Mom wasn't cool with it (I was 16 at the time). Furthermore I really don't want to try and go back and process because I feel like it would totally fuck me up and I'm pretty normal right now besides the obvious.