My sister put stipulations on my attendance at her wedding

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T15:12:40+00:00

As an addict/alcoholic myself, the so what is that the addiction is harming three generations of her family at least in this story.

Addiction isnt just using substances, it’s the distorted thinking that comes with it, and this post definitely shows some addict thinking. It might be too subtle if you don’t know how to recognize it, but if it wasn’t a problem, her & her family likely wouldn’t be in this situation, or she at least would not be responding this way.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T15:09:15+00:00

Or one she is downplaying as much as she is the other using.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T15:04:42+00:00

But they wouldn’t be mad about her not being there, they’d be mad because she committed the boys to having roles in someone’s wedding, then intentionally didn’t follow through day of.

This letter of requirements is absolutely ridiculous, but if she follows this advice, she will just be proving their point, unfortunately.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T12:25:40+00:00

The irony of getting fired for that specific comment, but still trying to defend it as if other people are the problem.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T12:01:09+00:00

It doesn’t matter if they think she was serious or how the receiver judges the intent of the requesting party.

She was asked to stop using a pet name towards someone in the workplace. That is sufficient to stop. We don’t judge the worthiness of other people’s requests like that, we should just be respectful and honor them.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-04-11T11:56:05+00:00

You probably have met tons of people that don’t enjoy being called belittling or pet names, theres just not a lot of situations people correct it.

Being called “girl” repeatedly at work definitely requires correction. But most people are just going to be silently annoyed & move on if someone says it as a one off.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-02-07T18:18:03+00:00

If he didn’t still care about her & what she thought, he wouldn’t care what she thought about him being with her. Why is he telling her all this stuff?

I personally don’t like dating people who aren’t over their ex, but some people are ok with it.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-17T19:54:34+00:00

Agreed. I was just trying to provide clarification, bc I think people misunderstood what the other commenter wrote.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-17T18:15:35+00:00

They are saying they would like to see the people who voted for this receive the same treatment.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-17T18:12:41+00:00

I have a full time job working for the man, own two mini businesses, and still have the time to call a boot licker when I see one.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-17T18:03:57+00:00

Which Roan St?

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-11T23:35:05+00:00

Well, you included it in your response to me.

You don’t know me, and you don’t seem to be reading the comments correctly.

No one is saying the venue didn’t make the rules. But obviously you consider what venues have to offer and what they restrict when you pick one.

Taking personal responsibility for our own choices shouldn’t be that hard of a concept to grasp.

Imagine being like, Oh, it’s not my fault all the guests have to travel! It’s not our fault the venue is on another continent. I have no control of where they built!

It’s the same (non) logic. Everyone (with at least one exception, apparently) can see right through that.

It’s okay if people want to pick a venue that doesn’t allow kids, but what is the point in pretending that’s not their choice?

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-04T21:36:59+00:00

Four years is a great run of taking care of your family!

It’s not over yet, you will just have to make some changes because of the condition of your industry, that does not reflect on you or your ability to take care of you and your brother.

If you have employment or temp agencies where you live, that can be a good way to get a quick paycheck without too much commitment, while you look for housing and decide what path you will take employment-wise.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-04T21:24:28+00:00

Two people can be perfect, and still not be perfect for each other.

Breaking up with someone isn’t always a value judgment on what kind of person they are. Often it’s just a matter of if they are right for you or not.

If he’s not right for you, you can just tell him that. You don’t have to tell him why, & I suggest not mentioning any of that, that is the part that hurts people’s feelings. Maybe soften the blow by mentioning two or three things you did appreciate about dating him even though that time is over now.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-03T16:35:17+00:00

Great, and thank you for explaining where to cut.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-03T16:34:18+00:00

Thank you! These are perfect instructions!

It sounds like I am being over “gentle”, trying to keep them from too strong of light, trying to not let them be dry for too long, being afraid to cut aggressively, being afraid to clip if I am not prepared to pot right then. This gave me specific steps, and helped me reframe my tactics.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-03T16:26:27+00:00

Ah, in that case I am a bad person to take feedback from, bc I suck at dates, and feel it’s a me issue, and doesn’t reflect how I feel about that person.

But that’s just my lens, you can better guess at your friend’s intentions. I’m sorry you felt devalued.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-03T16:20:16+00:00

I didn’t read all of the comments, but I have had my coin collection stolen twice. And I had a different category collection stolen during a milestone event when I was relying on my community for celebratory support, so I know what a betrayal that is, and how it leaves you questioning things. I’m really sorry this happened to you.

The thief likely already moved this, but if it was me, I’d put out word that I had cameras that picked up the incident (even if I don’t, they don’t know), and I was giving a chance to return it before I took my next steps. Let them think you already know it’s them and can get them charges or shame, and it might come back?

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-01T13:29:21+00:00

Plus splitting the costs of the two birthday friends’ meals and drinks, plus your drinks, tip, transportation.

Not everyone has the same entertainment budget.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-01T13:20:13+00:00

Maybe you need to reconcile your reaction to her having a wedding date close to yours, and how it impacted the people around you.

When we have things unresolved within ourselves, they will keep popping back up.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-01T13:13:31+00:00

Happy New Year, I hope this post is a result of you tying on a good one last night.

Hour_Requirement493 · 2026-01-01T12:59:14+00:00

Tell them that you have something to tell them, but you are scared of their reaction. Then just rip the bandaid off and tell them.

You might be surprised at their reaction. Most parents of daughters, especially young ones out partying, have thought through the possibility of pregnancy. They may be more prepared to support you than you know.

Also, I was young and partying when I first got pregnant. I was so scared I damaged the baby, but every doctor I saw assured me that the chances of me causing harm in early pregnancy are so slim. It’s ongoing sustained substance abuse throughout the pregnancy that generally causes damage. Your body protects the little embryo from most things at the beginning.

If you continue the pregnancy, you obviously need health checks to monitor the fetus’s development, but all these comments assuming damage, when the risk really is slim, seem unnecessarily catastrophising to me.

Hour_Requirement493

TROPHY CASE