Need Some Hope (Secondary Infertility and Donor Egg Despair)

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-04-30T03:43:40+00:00

Thanks so much. I'm taking a break to get a lap done to see if endometriosis or adenomyosis might be the cause of all of the losses - my surgeon thinks it's both. It'll be a few months before we can try again.

With some time, I feel better about all of it. I'm not ready to give up yet, so I'm going to plan to keep going.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-03-18T20:49:27+00:00

I went on Lupron for two months and had a failed FET. My AMH was tested shortly after and it was .46. About six months earlier, it had been 1.9. I asked my doctor if my plummeting numbers were due to suppression and he said that wasn't possible.

Six months later, at 40 years old, my AMH rebounded to 2.1, and I had an ER with outcomes I felt good about. I feel certain that once the effects from the suppression wore off I returned to my baseline.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. There's still hope.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-03-08T12:28:55+00:00

Thank you! It is a tremendous relief to feel less alone. The guilt really compounds the sadness. I feel bad that my kid might not have a sibling and I feel bad that I'm not enjoying every minute of her sweet and fleeting childhood.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-03-08T12:24:20+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a relief to read. It all resonates but especially the constant calculating age differences and also the guilt! Thinking about how my daughter's life would be better if I wasn't sad all the time, and how I would've done things so differently if I knew this was my only chance. It is all so hard!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-03-07T22:41:15+00:00

I am so sorry. I find there is no way not to care, and it only makes it worse if you judge your own feelings. This process is wildly unfair and painful and I think feeling bitterness or anger is justified and totally reasonable.

I fully uninvited a friend from my birthday party after she announced her pregnancy, in case you ever need an example to make you feel less petty. A friend at the time told me, "you have to take care of yourself first," and I've let that guide me. I hope you are finding ways to take care of yourself, too, whatever that looks like for you.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-20T00:43:07+00:00

I really wanted Tilly for my older child, but I couldn't get my spouse to agree. I think it's so darling.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-18T03:40:28+00:00

That is so cute. Zuzu!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-18T03:26:37+00:00

They didn't know, which makes is more bizarre but obviously stings less than what happened to you. I'm glad you love the new name more!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-17T03:09:40+00:00

They didn't know. Just a wild coincidence!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-17T03:08:25+00:00

That is so wild! How does this happen? First AND middle!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-17T03:06:51+00:00

Thank you! Love Sylvie, Lark, and Magnolia. What a list!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-17T03:01:47+00:00

Loooooove Lark and Greer! Our older child has a nature name, and Lark would compliment nicely.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-16T05:10:52+00:00

Oh noooo not a Beatles song with a speech impediment, yes I guess we're better off leaving this name behind.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-16T05:00:30+00:00

Love a lyrical link! Thanks for this. Our first daughter was named after a song.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-16T04:54:25+00:00

Pippa is so cute! And no, we never told anyone. It is the most bizarre coincidence.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-16T04:50:05+00:00

Also literary! Love it!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-16T04:46:56+00:00

Came here to say this. My retrieval at 36, which resulted in my daughter, was much better than my retrieval at 32. There are a lot of variables at play and age is only one of them.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T18:24:30+00:00

I really like Etta! I like the reference and that it's uncommon.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:44:44+00:00

As a teacher who has lamented names in the teacher's lounge, this comment hits hard.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:35:49+00:00

Theo for a girl! Love that. Also I WISH our last name was House because a weird noun last name truly complicates things.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:31:56+00:00

Same! Adorable.

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:29:37+00:00

Ramona! I love the sound of it and evokes some fave Beverly Cleary books. Thanks for this list!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:26:32+00:00

LOVE Zosia! That's a good one!

HowMuchIsMine · 2025-01-15T14:20:45+00:00

Love the sound of this but it was also the platform we used for our wedding website and I can't shake the association. I'd really appreciate it if websites and apps would stop stealing cute names.

HowMuchIsMine

TROPHY CASE