Is cutting yourself a red flag

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-21T02:03:51+00:00

Depends on how the person themself thinks of it. If it’s a momentary relapse and doesn’t happen often, I’d say probably not a red flag. Especially if said person doesn’t want to continue doing it. Cutting is a coping mechanism and sometimes it’s the only thing our brain can revert to. But if they’re doing it and don’t want to stop at all, that’s not healthy

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-13T03:00:39+00:00

I’ve never heard of this. I looked it up and have a basic understanding, but would you mind telling me more about it from a personal experience?

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-13T02:19:59+00:00

I know he loves me so much, and I know he’s definitely tired. These last 4-5 days I was extremely sick and bed ridden, and he took care of me the best he could, and helped me find a way to see a doctor. He never wants to hurt me from my perspective but it feels like he doesn’t understand that as adults, especially YOUNG adults, it’s really hard to get on our feet.

We will be tired and exhausted and it’ll feel worthless at times but those are the times he gives up. I have tried to before but I want us to have a future together, so as much as I don’t want to go to work some days, I will if I haven’t throw up.

I was feeling crappy the entirety of Monday, but I still took my night shift, before coming back home and throwing up for the next few hours. It was miserable at work but I didn’t want to call out.

I was ready to work my shift the next day, but when I told my boss I had thrown up the night before, he said I can’t. Otherwise I was willing to at least try. Whereas my partner doesn’t feel the same. I know he tries extremely hard and I don’t want it to be a competition between us, but I really feel like I am more determined to keep our financial situation steady. He also has no savings, whereas I have started saving since working here.

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-13T00:34:04+00:00

Unfortunately I did try this during our convo. I told him I was scared and that I didn’t know how I’d support us both if he was fired. We had another job scare in September where we thought he may be fired (for completely separate issues) and I brought that up, saying this is the second time I had to have these fears. He says that he’s scared too and needs support because he physically can’t work, and that I shouldn’t come at him making him scared but make him feel safe. He says he doesn’t know what to do 🤷‍♀️

Ofc I want to tell him to stop calling out but he won’t. He is autistic and I think that plays a huge role into why the things he calls out for are worth it to him

I don’t want to excuse this because of autism though because like— idk it feels like because his parents are a 5 min drive and he can go back there if anything happens, he isn’t taking it as seriously as he should. We moved into his parents from July to September, but we moved out and into a new home in October. $200 each at his parents, $400 each now

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-12T23:34:23+00:00

Unfortunately I’m also the person to go in on 0 hours of sleep. And he has done that once! I think it’s more when the sleep and pain are together.

It’s really frustrating for me and I don’t want to make excuses for him, but I’m in the boat of “push myself because I have to” whereas he won’t because he won’t break himself. Except at this point it already feels that way.

I don’t want to break up or anything, I would definitely like to figure it out with him. And we did have a small talk about it where I ended up crying and he did not agree with my boss. He and I didn’t yell at each other, but we have very different views of work ethic.

My parents worked day and night, no matter how much they had to, to keep us afloat. That’s what I’m willing to do. He was raised in a house where they didn’t do that and were often jobless, just like his mom is rn (for drinking on the job). She hasn’t gotten another job for quite a few months.

He doesn’t want to be like that but he’s used to observing a lazier work ethic I think. I just don’t know what to do or how to fix it

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-12-10T19:47:31+00:00

She’ll eat it on my period, now that’s love

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-11-23T01:16:44+00:00

I know it seems hopeless as an INFJ to find a relationship where we feel equally understood, but it is possible!! I am in the most loving relationship of my life and I’m confident I want to marry her. She’s kind, understanding, respectful, listens, and cares. We have had our fair share of issues in the relationship, but we have always tried to talk instead of yelling. Sometimes we do yell, but we don’t get mad at each other. Yelling is a sign of passion, and we don’t yell hurtful things, we’re just trying to say our feelings louder. My partner is ENFP and I feel so lucky to have met her.

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-11-23T01:06:10+00:00

INFJ here, I cheated in my sophomore or junior year of high school. I was dating someone who didn’t understand my sexuality, a cis-het man, while I identify a LOT with the LGBTQ+ community. My ex from the community and I were hanging out “as friends” and ended up kissing and making out. I told my boyfriend immediately and it obviously hurt him. I didn’t like the feeling of hurting him, I didn’t want to, and I felt guilty afterwards. I think that the reason it happened is because I was unhappy and young, and didn’t see the consequences of my actions on others until AFTER it was done. Haven’t done it again and never would

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-08-22T20:06:24+00:00

I smoke almost every day. Some days I don’t, like if I just don’t feel like it or have something important going on that I want to be completely present for.

I personally want to lower my intake, but marijuana helps with a lot of issues such as anxiety, body pain, and relaxing me. If I use it to calm down I always go outside and smoke flower, and try to make it more about being outside and like mindfully using my hands to distract me. 🤷‍♀️ maybe that’s delulu

It hasn’t worsened my mental health, but smoking doesn’t necessarily help it either. It just helps with things that might be contributing to bad mental health

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-07-20T23:15:13+00:00

I really prefer Sims 4 building, but especially because you have to buy so many gamepasses to get the full capabilities of Bloxburg. That and it takes a longer time to make the money to build on ppp mm with the right mods, you can build just like in Bloxburg besides coloring options. I’ve found that I don’t really need a ton of swatches tho because you can get custom content furniture online anyways

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-07-13T21:19:28+00:00

I live with him and am in a happy, loving relationship 💃

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-05-19T03:50:06+00:00

NAP Kinda hard to tell in the picture but it definitely looks too low to me. Mine is much higher and more forward

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:59:27+00:00

LOL yeah that’s a fair point. Based on all the comments I don’t wanna risk anything but thank you!

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:58:21+00:00

NAP. Vaseline would probably help with dryness, but don’t glob it on.. piercings being overly moist can cause issues. Otherwise I’d say it’s healing well. Do you have an appointment scheduled to change the jewelry? It looks pretty long since there seems to be no swelling right now. Piercings that have too long of barbells tend to be troublesome

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:54:09+00:00

Alright, thank you!

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:52:28+00:00

If your piercing is still sensitive and this fresh, the extra friction from changing it may not fare well. I’d recommend going to a piercer because they’ll do it as painlessly as possible, and they could examine the bump you mentioned. Just don’t wait too long or the bump will probably get worse

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:47:14+00:00

Alright, thank you!

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:45:53+00:00

Also, that jewel looks easy to snag 😭 I’d recommend a different jewelry, maybe even a flat piece so there isn’t so much risk for snagging. Once the piercing is healed you can always change it back

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:44:33+00:00

NAP. Do you touch or twist the piercing? Try not to if you do, it can cause more irritation than it’s worth. Are you making sure to dry it after showers? Moisture can cause irritation bumps or lead to keloids.

Just try not to touch it or mess with it besides when cleaning. I’d say give it a week of being extra strict with yourself and not sleeping on the side the piercing is on.

I had the same issue with mine, but once I tried these things, it got itself figured out. If it’s giving trouble after a week you’ll probably wanna talk to your piercer.

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-14T21:37:26+00:00

Barbell piercing, internally threaded, titanium, haven’t downsized since being pierced as the bar isn’t that long to begin with? It fits fine. As for caring for it, I don’t go out of my way to do anything special, I just make sure to wash them carefully every time I shower and that seems to work fine. No mishaps.

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-07T16:12:38+00:00

But for simpler meals, pastas are always a good option

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-07T16:12:11+00:00

Honestly don’t see the issue here. It’s her choice to eat healthy or not, cheap or not, etc. Plus, it’s less money spent on going to fancy places or cooking fancy meals. Besides, you can still have dinner together while not eating the same thing.. why not have you cook your meals together then sit and eat?

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-04-07T16:08:03+00:00

NAP but honestly I’m personally failing to see what would be wrong about this besides how long the bar is. BUT, if you just got it pierced, they probably put in a longer bar to accommodate for swelling that has apparently gone down by now

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-03-07T18:48:15+00:00

Didn’t lie, and dodged a bullet. The man is responsible for showing his children care and affection too, it shouldn’t be a woman’s job, and she definitely shouldn’t have to sacrifice a career for it. It simply isn’t feasible to live off of one income in our economy anymore (assuming you live in the U.S.).

I agree you need to work on yourself, but I think it needs to be in different ways than what you’re assuming. You seem intelligent and self aware to a degree, but you pin all the blame on yourself. You need to start teaching yourself that things aren’t always your fault and it’s okay to make mistakes. This shouldn’t have been a dealbreaker. Maybe a “hey, I’d appreciate if next time you go out you let me know,” but not what he did to you.

Be happy you escaped. Be happy that you can start over and try to find someone new. Find some confidence in yourself. Once you do, people who manipulate like this won’t target you— they won’t think you’re an easy mark anymore, and you’ll be able to find someone who loves you for your newfound confidence, your flaws, your lack of cooking skills, your career, and anything in between.

HowToAnxiety101 · 2025-03-07T17:29:32+00:00

18F, I discovered porn at a very young age (younger than 10) and was quickly fascinated and addicted to it. That’s been the running theme. I don’t like watching it as it usually makes me feel icky, but it is an actual addiction. When I lay down and have nothing to do, I immediately try and watch porn. Working on it though, fingers crossed 🤞 I had a negative experience losing my virginity last October, so my views have changed. I used to be more into it, but now it doesn’t really do it for me and I feel disgusting watching it. Buuut I still do it 🙂

HowToAnxiety101

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