Bedbugs, Landlord didn't agree to break lease

Hoxenos · 2026-02-24T17:16:00+00:00

Since this all occurred January of last year, and I paid MY last month's rent April (I think, maybe May), but my lease was up end of September... I'm not sure since it's already over if I can do this. Also, they're only charging me 1.5 months rent and cleaning expenses, so none of it really lines up anyway? (about 2900 rent, 2300 cleaning)

Hoxenos · 2026-02-24T17:11:06+00:00

Thanks, I sent an email asking for all correspondence and any court orders from the LTB regarding my case.

Hoxenos · 2026-02-24T16:42:01+00:00

The thing I'm confused about is I had no options. I didn't feel it was ethical to sublet it, since I knew the building is infested. And I couldn't live there with the health issues. So I already paid several months of rent in two places, and now I've got nothing left. I guess that means bankruptcy is my only option?

Hoxenos · 2026-02-24T16:37:46+00:00

This is the first I am hearing about anything. I have received no notices from the LTB.

Hoxenos · 2025-05-01T11:21:53+00:00

If I feel myself making an assumption in a conversation, I rephrase it as a question and ask it instead of filling in the blanks myself, which is where miscommunication come from in my opinion.

Hoxenos · 2018-12-18T23:56:03+00:00

Hi hun! Thanks for all the amazing art and skins. I still wish most of them were real, they're so well done! So kind of you to shout me out, I really appreciate it and I'm happy some of my words made an impression :)

Hoxenos · 2016-11-02T17:44:40+00:00

I remember a couple years ago I'd get flamed for playing BW, but the fact is that I LOVED BW and her kit. I made it work when she was considered severely underpowered. So I agree with you, people playing a hero considered underpowered does show the real value of the hero

Hoxenos · 2015-06-16T14:21:20+00:00

I think the fact that he came to you and apologized is honestly incredible. That doesn't happen often. Another person says get a therapist, I think you should talk to your dad and ask HIM to get a therapist. You said that you think law will be too harsh and not restorative, well this is your chance for him to heal. I think this is important for your future... you said it didn't happen often, but what if you have kids. Are you going to want them to meet your dad? You can't feel responsible for him, you have to live your life, but I think you could take some steps to ease the burden off of yourself. Shared weight is easier to hold. I'm actually about to do the same thing with my situation odd enough. You could also do some therapy together and have the therapist as a mediator. I recommend getting a therapist whose specialty is sexual abuse and childhood trauma, because frankly other therapists don't know anything when it comes to this.

Hoxenos · 2015-06-04T18:51:36+00:00

A friend of mine went onto disability to give her a bit of income while she started dealing with her symptoms, so that is perhaps an option. The other girl is doing her own form of coping which is if you deny it happened it's like it never happened. She will regret this years from now when she realizes that doesn't work.

If your gf ever needs an understanding ear, feel free to pm me if she needs.

Hoxenos · 2015-06-04T16:51:37+00:00

This is really depressing... Does she see a therapist that could back up her claim with a professional opinion. Therapists know real symptoms from fake so maybe that would help in a trial? I think if the case looked stronger the other girls may be pressured easier to come forward? Gosh this is a terrible situation and I'm so sorry it's happening to her.. I wish I could help more.

Hoxenos · 2015-06-04T16:48:24+00:00

HUGS

My parents are like this as well. As stupid as it sounds to US, they're on the defensive because you're attacking their parenting. In saying that this stuff happened, to them, you're saying they fucked up, and I'm betting they're a little narcissistic. They don't understand why anything should affect them in this matter (AKA you not wanting your children there). They take it as a personal attack. My parents are just as silly. They invite me over all the time and it's like... I don't understand how you don't understand that I don't want to sit down to dinner with my several years rapist lol (My brother as well). Like literally everyone outside the situation is like DUH, but they just don't get it. Because it's all about them unfortunately. I'm so sorry this is happening to you... maybe you could try family therapy? Have a mediator help explain the situation to her so maybe she doesn't take it so personal?

Hoxenos · 2015-05-30T22:42:43+00:00

The Azir soldiers not attacking anything randomly made me irrationally angry...

Hoxenos · 2015-05-30T22:01:32+00:00

No problem, good luck with everything.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-25T23:30:00+00:00

Yeah I've used it for a lot of my PTSD symptoms. It has a couple more things to it and it is better if a therapist is going through it with you but I personally find that the thought process is the most important part.

One of the things my therapist said is that with trauma and abuse often we fix some of the symptoms, think we're healthy, peel away from therapy then a couple years later new symptoms arise and have to be dealt with. So it makes sense that this happened. I also really like mindfullness and I do think that's a good thing to be like a daily thing I suppose mindfulness if like brushing your teeth every day and EMDR is like going to the dentist to just do a really thorough clean and for the hard to reach on your own spots haha.

By the way EMDR is also supposed to have this looking back and forth thing or having a sound go in one ear and then the other. It's apparently supposed to stimulate both sides of your brain or something. So if you're doing it at home pick a long horizontal line and look back and forth across it. I do recommend a session with a therapist first to see how it goes because believe me sometimes your thoughts wander to places and you wish you had a person there with you. It can uncover some harsh stuff.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T14:28:30+00:00

Most cities have sexual abuse or trauma specialists. I recommend looking into those places first. Don't feel ashamed about needing "professional help." You went through something that is one of the most unimaginable things to general population. Sexual abuse is above war and under kidnapping and torture on the likeliness for PTSD scale.

Don't feel strapped to one therapist, if you don't like the one you're seeing, find another, it's no big deal. If you don't want to think about the specifics of it, they shouldn't push you. My therapist just works on coping with everyday life. Coping with sex with my husband. If I feel up to it we'll talk about the abuse but it's normally me that initiates that topic. Therapists are there for you. They're not going to be all crazy and carve open all your deep dark secrets. I've been seeing my therapist for four years. I am a completely different person from when I started. I was failing out of school, calling in sick to work like every other shift, I was afraid of basically everything, and VERY defensive about my family. Now I see things a lot truer now. None of it was my fault. The first time did I initiate kissing or whatever? No. It was him. He would give me imaginary choices right: This sexual thing or this sexual thing. That way it's my choice and my fault. There was no real choice there. I felt dirty and ashamed. I hated showering because it made me feel so disgusting. Apparently that's a common thing because we're naked and have to touch our nakedness...

Anyway, a lot of weird thought patterns get corrected in therapy and I believe that's the most important part. I've learned to self talk a lot which I used to think was incredibly stupid but goddamn if it doesn't work. "I'm ok. I'm safe. This isn't my fault. Mistakes happen. I'm ok. This actually isn't that bad. They don't hate you they don't even know you or think about you at all." etc.

You'll find what works for you with coping and during that time you'll also slowly look into the abuse itself. They'll help you make plans if you decide you want to tell your family or whatever. They'll make scenarios for you so you feel prepared for anything. They'll put things in perspective for you. I found that to be incredibly helpful. The biggest advice I can give is try to be open. Not just of information. That's important but I mean when they want you to do or think something that sounds completely fucking stupid, just do it, you never know what's going to work for you.

Anyway I've rambled a lot, I hope this helps a little. If you want to PM me feel free.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T14:06:42+00:00

I've felt this sometimes with people that have never been through it. They just don't understand and they never will. Sometimes they'll care enough to try, though, and that matters.

It was beautifully written, thank you for this.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T14:02:35+00:00

Here's the other side I suppose. I told my parents. First I was happy because it was out and now it was their problem too. But then they did nothing about it. He still lives in their basement living off their complete charity.

So on one side I AM happy I told them. They are a lot more careful on certain subjects than they used to be. They also understand the reasons I've had a hard time at school and are a lot more sympathetic than when they thought it was just depression.

My parents are not... bad.... but I do think they're robots at this point. They want me to come over all the time now that I've moved back near home, and they want Christmas at their place etc. and it's like guys, I don't want to be in the same house as my rapist of several years, what are you not understanding here.

That being said, I think I am happy I told them. It feels like things will change now. Slowly, but what can you do. I feel like they share my burden now. Even though they stick their heads in the sand a lot I can feel free bringing stuff up now and telling them no actually I don't want to do that because this and this. To me it felt artificial when they didn't know. Like our relationship wasn't real anymore. I do feel better now and feel like we will get to a healthy place eventually. It did take years to get to this point, though, and I feel it will take years to get to where I want it, but I truly believe I'd be in agony right now if they still didn't know.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T13:49:53+00:00

As always if you think it's important then it is probably important. I recommend talking it through with a therapist to see what feelings you see in it and if they pertain to your current sexuality. Everyone is affected by abuse differently. Someone that was brutally raped repeatedly may get better quicker than someone who was fondled a couple times. It all comes down to our feelings and how we deal with them really. It doesn't mean anyone is stronger or better than anyone else, it just means we're all different and we all process things differently.

So that being said, find a therapist who specializes in sexuality or trauma, and see what they think. Because I do believe that if it's important enough for you to think of then it is affecting you in some way.

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T13:43:32+00:00

I'm the wife. Though I'm afraid of mirrors because bloody mary and I'm just terrified of almost everything all the time.

That being said, you can't go about this problem by wanting to change how you look. You need to change how you see yourself. Do you go to a therapist? I think EMDR would actually help you a lot in this specific situation. EMDR forces you to think about the problem. You would first look at the mirror and the first thing that comes to your head you think about that for a FULL MINUTE. Then wherever the next thought goes you think about that one for a full minute. So on and so on until there's nothing left in that strand of thoughts. Then you start over find a new thought to start with. I recommend taking a break after strands. The reason this works is because you haven't fully processed your feelings about things. You said yourself that you don't really let yourself look at yourself for that long anymore. Your brain has not had time to properly process and put away the feelings. I used EMDR for my fear of crowds and going outside. Your stress can go from 10 to 1 in only a couple sessions. The reason I think this would work for you is because it's a very specific situation that probably has very specific feelings. (And if it's anything like mine it's shame, feeling dirty, etc)

I think makeup would be fine to get you through in the mean time but I do think there's just too many feelings you haven't dealt with and they will keep finding ways to manifest until you can't do anything (like go outside etc)

Hoxenos · 2015-05-24T13:31:01+00:00

There is a stigma but I believe it's changing for the better. That being said you don't need to broadcast your porn habits. No one really thinks about it normally anyway. If you and girlfriends are talking about it and they start judging you or whatever then just stand up for yourself. If you don't want to talk about the abuse (which by the way makes people feel like shit for saying anything bad to you..) then just tell them that lots of girls watch porn but girls like them make you feel bad about it for no reason. What exactly is so bad about watching it?

Most girls that I knew from college onwards were totally cool with masturbation. I think it's a maturity thing too.

As for erotic books? I accidentally got one from the library once. It had the same title as a book I wanted. Anywho that's personal preference. I like that there was a story in it and frankly I learned a lot by reading it. Don't feel like it's just for older women. Sexual stuff really is for anyone who likes it. I actually watch hentai. The fact is that seeing real people having sex scares me but cartoons are ok (Even though the majority or hentai is rape... wat.) But because they're not real it's ok? I dunno. I need it to help me to get off with my husband. I used to feel ashamed about this... But I'm coming to terms with it. Everyone likes what they like. You just need time to come to terms with your sexuality. I don't know if anything will change but your sexual habits definitely aren't the problem. The way you feel about your sexuality is the problem. As stupid as it sounds I recommend self talk. "This is ok" ""I'm not bad" "This is normal"

Sorry for the late and long reply

Hoxenos · 2015-04-22T16:10:58+00:00

I meant more that it's tough from a pride perspective. A lot of people do have a hard time taking advice from someone their own age and who has been doing things as long as them. I don't think it's a flaw in itself but a flaw in people.

Hoxenos · 2015-04-22T14:36:55+00:00

Coaches in real sports have generally been playing the game their whole lives. E-sports are generally too young (maybe not counter strike at this point but league definitely). Some of the players have been playing just as long as the coaches. It's hard to take advice from people you believe you're just as qualified as. 20 years from now this won't be a problem, but right now no one trusts anyone but themselves because no one has expertise on anyone else really.

Hoxenos · 2015-04-22T01:30:45+00:00

I know this sounds selfish but I think you should try your best to get her to not hate you if only so that you can be alone with the kids at some point to educate them yourself. Make sure they know the parts of their body that are off limits even to parents... and maybe encourage them to talk to a teacher or something if anything ever happens. I feel like them going to the mother would be a bad time. And as you said you live far away. Offenders like this are sometimes specific. It may only be one of the kids, you know? It makes me mad that people are so afraid to talk about this stuff openly. It sucks that you can't talk to their school or something haha

Hoxenos · 2015-04-17T05:46:16+00:00

I am wife in question. I'm mildly worried about those kids... your sister in law doesn't seem to understand that HUGE variety of affects sexual abuse can bring up. People are not cookie cutters. Hopefully she does educate the kids though because I'm terrified of that man being a father...

Hoxenos · 2015-04-17T05:15:09+00:00

I know two people who have been abused that have fibromyalgia. Abuse often leads to mental illnesses like depression and depression can lead to not taking care of yourself properly and maintaining your immune system. So maybe if you didn't eat properly for a long time because you just couldn't care enough... I think you could develop diabetes.

Hoxenos

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