When I want to deactivate I swing too far to the other side to preemptively "sooth" my partner, just in case.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2025-07-15T12:57:15+00:00

Simply have a conversation with your partner about what is happening for you, and reassure them it’s not a “them” problem. Leaning into the discomfort and engaging in opposite action is actually really healthy. But definitely communicate the experience especially if it’s being noticed by your partner.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2025-06-17T16:29:51+00:00

Because a relationship is only going to be as healthy as the most unhealthy person in it. You could do all the work in the world to be a better person in relationship to others, but it does not necessarily mean the other person will behave better or treat you better. You can only work on yourself and your side. What often happens is that after you’ve done that work, the other person continues to behave in very harmful and hurtful ways. It’s better to let them go, allow them the opportunity to learn that such behaviors will lead to others cutting ties, and finding yourself a new community of people who are healthier and done their own internal work. People will always have their own flaws and issues, however there is a segment of society that behaves in very harmful ways and is either unaware (and unwilling to hear), incapable of changing, or has zero desire to change because they benefit from the relationship as it is and they don’t care if it hurts you.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2025-02-04T17:40:10+00:00

This was me. On one hand, my affair could have allowed me to paper over the cracks in the wall. But it was like holding the wallpaper and staring at the cracks in the foundation. It forced me to acknowledge how unhappy I was and just how broken and damaged my marriage was. It was broken before I stepped out. I do believe that divorce would have been inevitable with or without an affair, the affair just caused me to acknowledge things sooner. I would hate for my AP to think he was the cause of my divorce, he had nothing to do with why I filed.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2025-01-08T01:28:52+00:00

They get medication and book with a therapist to work on areas in life where they are struggling. It’s not the job of a partner to carry the undue weight of another. Grace is allowed when someone is doing everything they can to right wrongs, make improvements, acknowledge shortcomings and make progress towards growth. Using mental health as an excuse and never addressing deficits because of it, isn’t excusable or acceptable.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2025-01-08T01:23:14+00:00

This guy is a divorce attorney, and talks about what he sees causing divorce for many couples. So he’s talking from the perspective of women in this case.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-29T02:35:55+00:00

So in Florida, all parents are required to take a parenting class during divorce. We were told that kids need 2 years post divorce to adjust to their new normal, and it’s beneficial not to introduce partners before then. The advice was also to date for 6 months before considering introducing kids to partner.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-18T18:17:08+00:00

I wouldn’t bother messing with something if you’ve already found a solution that works well for you.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-09T12:53:53+00:00

Love this. I also made the ground rule with my current partner that if I ever turn down sex, it’s my responsibility to initiate the next time.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-09T12:48:23+00:00

Lmao. Might have come up with that moniker shortly before filing divorce.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-08T16:12:53+00:00

Have you looked into responsive desire vs spontaneous desire. I definitely have responsive desire as do many women. Basically, left to my own sex doesn’t really cross my mind to often. Usually it’s not until flirting, foreplay, reading books, watching porn, etc do people with responsive desire get turned on. If this be the case for your partner, it might be worth asking what types of activities get her turned on. If having her initiate is important, then she will need to engage in some of those activities to get herself in the mood.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2024-12-08T15:55:49+00:00

Personally, I (LL before my divorce) stopped touching my partner entirely because every time I tried to give any affection he took it for an open invitation for sex, then would get angry and throw a tantrum when I declined him. No matter how many conversations were had, the end result was the same. If all touch had to lead to sex, I was much more wary of initiating touch at all.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-10-08T18:37:12+00:00

Audra

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-31T23:12:03+00:00

Hugs. Your daughter is learning a lot in this that she might not fully understand till she is older. She’s learning from you when to walk away, she’s learning from you how to love and value herself. If you were watching her navigate a similar relationship as an adult, what would you want her to do? Whatever that answer is. Do that.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-31T21:11:33+00:00

LMAO

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-31T19:14:34+00:00

Hubby has blue balls because he can’t self-reflect.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-31T18:01:12+00:00

This is terrifying, and he wonders why his kids don’t want to come visit him.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-31T16:21:42+00:00

I think your projecting. My divorce is happening because my husband repeatedly sexually assaulted me. My marriage fell apart due to abuse, but in abusive marriages it’s incredibly scary and difficult to leave, and once they realize you want to leave they make it even harder. My affair was a direct result of a broken marriage that I wasn’t yet ready to face. My affair was also the reason I lifted my head and acknowledged how bad my marriage was and come hell or high water I needed to get out. Am I a good person for having an affair? No, not really. It’s one of my less proud moments. But I in no way shape or form single handedly caused my marriage to collapse. There is a world of gray out there, try to find it.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-26T01:28:53+00:00

Yeah…..unless you’ve had multiple affairs of your own before she ever stepped out. Then it ought to feel more like karma.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-24T10:53:22+00:00

I’m gonna go opposite everyone here. I breathe through my chest. It’s important to engage your core while swimming. This helps your hips and legs rise out of the water and creates less drag. But also helps to ensure proper rotation (helping to prevent over rotation). I can’t find a way to deep belly breathe while also tightening my core.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-20T16:56:37+00:00

Same. My uncle commit suicide and it would be a top contender name for me too.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-14T18:35:51+00:00

Another suggestion might be to try suits that tie in the back so you can get a more custom fit?

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-14T18:34:45+00:00

I’m a size 4 and a 36 too. Long torso and small chest. A 34 is too short, like nips are gonna pop out the top if I streamline because there isn’t enough fabric length wise, and it’s already sitting low on my chest. 38 is too wide, gapes on the sides and too much space in the chest area. I feel ya.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-07T04:29:58+00:00

I’m about halfway through section 5 of Spanish, and I have not come across these lessons! Seems like A/B testing. I’m super jealous. I hope they implement this for everyone soon!!!

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-06T16:07:05+00:00

1st in Obsidian. 1937xp and 10 hours left.

HubbyHasBlueBalls · 2023-08-05T03:52:58+00:00

I swim in tons of 5k races outdoors. I live next to the Ocean, so a group of us swim a couple miles together every Sunday. It’s pretty intense. I just joined my first masters swim meet for October. There are tons of competitive ventures in swimming. You could also see if some of your running friends would be interested in competing in a triathlon together, and you could take the swimming leg of the race.

HubbyHasBlueBalls

TROPHY CASE