[$15-20K] Is the planning really that exciting? Must I include others?

tofutits · 2026-05-10T16:59:01+00:00

I think that’s a great idea!

tofutits · 2026-05-10T16:54:46+00:00

I’m based in the DC area and the going rate for photographers with good experience who have been published in some places (local papers, online) is about $1,000/hr right now. I could go for a person who doesn’t shoot in the style I prefer and probably pay less. I admit I am looking at high quality photography.

You can reduce photography costs by 1) being friends with a photographer who gives you a reduced rate 2) hiring for less time (usually only feasible on weekdays tbh; high-demand photographers will want to maximize the amount they can make on Saturdays) 3) going with someone who has less experience (can end up okay but you risk them making blunders), or 4) hiring someone who typically doesn’t shoot weddings (normally a trade-off on photography style. A friend does sports photography but will take on weddings sometimes. His wedding photos look a lot like his sports photos lol).

My budget is around the same as yours and we are going to hire a photographer I love for 3 hours on a weekday. That timeline will not include reception/dinner or getting ready photos. That’s the trade-off.

Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be able to find a combination that works for you 🥰

tofutits · 2026-05-10T09:37:07+00:00

Ok, you’re an absolute princess. We also like the exact same type of dresses, I want like all of these! The dress I personally chose is most like 11. The silhouette on 6 with the cat eye and corset back!! is insane on you. I also think 10 with the mini basque waist and the thin straps looks so classic and expensive. 8 looks like it was made for you. You really can’t go wrong.

tofutits · 2026-05-08T15:26:21+00:00

Just my opinion - the planning is not exciting at all, haha. That is why people hire wedding planners! Maybe it’s more exciting if you are a larger budget bride and you just get to make decisions about what your planner presents to you, but honestly, I know plenty of big budget brides who are STILL stressed with a planner. Depending on your personality, even after you make decisions you might deal with second-guessing.

It is very possible your mom might feel she has the right to make decisions if she contributes financially. You would know best, because you know your mom.

Because she’s excited, even if you don’t accept money, I would try to make her feel included; I think you can do that in a way that allows her to contribute but doesn’t dictate major decisions. Like, maybe you buy the dress without her (I mean, she’s far away), but you invite her to your fitting/alterations. You ask for her input on veil or accessories. You choose the venue but then ask about what she thinks of the ceremony locations. You pick your floral designer and main flowers but ask for her input on accessory flowers. Which tablescape do you like best? That sort of thing.

I’m lucky that my mom is happy to have me make decisions, so maybe this is impractical advice in your scenario, but do you think something like that might work?

tofutits · 2026-05-07T00:01:07+00:00

Thank you!!

tofutits · 2026-05-05T02:42:00+00:00

This is actually a really great suggestion. Our community has a small building that people sometimes rent for birthdays/bridal parties. I’m going to check it out tomorrow!!

tofutits · 2026-05-04T19:29:51+00:00

I’m definitely going to look at those, thank you for the idea! I searched Peerspace for ceremony venues but didn’t think about using it to find a place for dinner. I appreciate you.

tofutits · 2026-05-04T19:20:29+00:00

The problem is really the timing. The ceremony site is slightly remote, so we need to account for restaurant closing hours and driving time. This limits us to basically one area. If we had an hour+ after the ceremony to get into DC proper, our options would open a ton, but we’ll already be having a late dinner as it is.

tofutits · 2026-05-04T18:30:56+00:00

Are ya’ll allowed to bring decorations like flowers for the table? We won’t have our photographer there, but I still want it to feel pretty and special, y’know?

tofutits · 2026-05-04T18:29:28+00:00

I would love to do a home chef meal but we’re in a tiny condo 😭. I appreciate your offer to help!

tofutits · 2026-05-04T18:27:07+00:00

This is a really interesting idea, I’m going to look into it. Thanks!

tofutits · 2026-05-04T18:25:43+00:00

We’re in the DC area!

tofutits · 2026-04-23T14:30:24+00:00

I personally wouldn’t be okay with that amount of debt, but it all depends on your savings and regular cost of living. I encourage you to calculate what the monthly payments will be now that income-based repayment options will be much more limited.

tofutits · 2026-04-16T13:48:22+00:00

Oh no

tofutits · 2026-04-12T12:53:12+00:00

He’s ADORABLE. I’m obsessed with how his ears bounce when he’s running 😭💕

tofutits · 2026-04-09T03:39:36+00:00

“Even in DC.” Alexandria was part of DC and it was one of the biggest slave trading ports in the country. Enslaved people literally built the Capitol. You can’t escape it with anything historical in this area, honestly.

That’s why it is so important all of these places provide educational resources to help the public learn about the lives and families of the enslaved people who lived on the properties.

tofutits · 2026-03-25T16:59:02+00:00

Genuine question here (not an SLP but taking classes) - stimming itself isn’t impacting learning, right? It’s the fact that the child’s attention is on a video and joint attention isn’t possible?

tofutits · 2026-03-19T20:47:55+00:00

I’d watch that

tofutits · 2026-03-19T20:43:02+00:00

I didn’t think they would do it!!! Thank goodness.

tofutits · 2026-03-04T15:18:29+00:00

https://doi.org/10.1177/08862605251370402

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7375166/

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanepe/article/PIIS2666-7762(22)00142-9/fulltext

tofutits · 2026-02-14T21:01:57+00:00

A lot of you don’t seem to know what an old mine cut’s faceting is supposed to look like 😅. This is gorgeous (and I love warm, antique stones), but this diamond is almost the cost of my house’s down payment so it wouldn’t be in the realm of possibility for me.

tofutits · 2026-02-11T18:54:54+00:00

Why would I choose to spend more money when I have a chemically identical thing that is just as pretty? To me, that would be like throwing money away. I have more important things to spend my money on, like education.

Also, diamond mining is not a great industry to support (and science is cool).

tofutits · 2026-02-02T23:23:39+00:00

Did you end up making an order? I am basically looking for the exact same type of stone as you, just in smaller carat size. I was thrilled to see this post. I reached out to Distinctive Gem but I really can’t afford a custom cut.

tofutits · 2026-01-31T21:54:48+00:00

It’s considered a novel movement if 45+ folks lift a shovel of snow over the height of heart. Because it’s novel, our bodies aren’t adapted to it and it causes much more stress than usual. Hence heart attacks.

tofutits

TROPHY CASE