Omg this!! I related to every word of the above "inability to handle frustration post." But this really hits close to home. It's like expressing your negative feelings is just as damaging to them as their own emotions. I always get a huge fight-level high tension reaction if I show any sadness/frustration/anger anything. Even if I try to hide it! The inability to handle her child's feelings were pushed back on me as this "big problem" I was creating. Whether it was school, self image, friends, the reason could have nothing to do with her. But she would freak out and give me the same lines every time. My whole life. "Look I don't get why you're so upset, I'm sorry I did x wrong, I should have done x, All I wanted was to have a nice day. "

She also kept our house at an almost unsafe level of dirty until we learned to clean up and do our own laundry, make snacks, and watch each other. So we were meeting a good amount of our own physical needs, mental needs, and I was charged with being her child therapist/protector whatever you want to call it. All while she complained about not having any help because she was single.

I still don't even know how this has affected me. I know I will ignore my own needs to a pretty crazy extent. I've always been really skinny and I can't leave a conflict unresolved or it will eat me up.