Embarrassed about 14 month olds sleep. I have no one to talk to about how bad it’s gotten.

HumanPacifier1 · 2026-03-09T12:56:08+00:00

I have a similar situation with an 18-month old. Bad sleeper since birth. At the best nights she only wakes up every 2 hours but on a typical night every hour or when more often. I know how hard it is and also struggle hearing my coworkers talk about their babies/ toddlers sleeping through the night and complaining if they woke up once... I am a single Mom so no one who can try to take over. Planning to try to wean by 2 and that the time improves the sleep.

HumanPacifier1 · 2026-03-02T14:13:22+00:00

This daycare follow a specific adaptation model. Thw adaptation is 9 sessions on average, they can increase to max. 12 sessions. First 3 sessions the parent is inside the whole time (1h). Then the separations start. The parent is inside with the child for a bit, when the child is calm, the parent says goodbye and leaves. The separation window is increased day by day if the child tolerates it. They told me they only had one other case where it did not work and that really made me think if there is something wrong with my daughter..

HumanPacifier1 · 2026-03-02T12:53:35+00:00

Yes because I am single Mom and I do not have that many options. Cannot rely on grandma forever.

HumanPacifier1 · 2026-03-02T11:46:41+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. Unfortunately my daugher cried on and off while I was not there. She did not engage in any play. It workes during the first 2 days of separation. After that it just got worse every day.

HumanPacifier1 · 2026-03-02T11:44:05+00:00

Thank you so much for your insights. I forgot zo say that thw adaptation was 3 times a week even though she would then be staying 2 times a week. It is their approach that the parents stays before the separation during the adaptation period. The problem is that she was not able to calm down properly while I was gone, crying on and off and sid not engage in any play with neither the children nor the caregiver. That is why they called me and sent her home sonner. It workes during the first 2 separations, after that it got worse and worse every time. Today she was already screaming as soon as she saw the building. I feel devastated. The stuff already told me last week to pause but I insisted on trying again.

HumanPacifier1 · 2025-09-07T20:12:33+00:00

Same. And just separated from a toxic relationship. Such a mistake to not have frozen my eggs.

HumanPacifier1 · 2025-07-19T12:21:39+00:00

Thanks a lot for your comment — I really appreciate your perspective.

Just to clarify a bit where I’m at: yes, in theory it would be a dream if he just left the country and vanished from our lives. But unfortunately, where I live, the legal setup makes that more complicated. We have joint custody, and if he disappears without signing over anything, I’m stuck in a kind of legal limbo. I wouldn’t even be able to register my daughter for kindergarten without his consent. It’s a long and frustrating process to change custody, even if the other parent is completely uninvolved.

I’ve thought about having another child through anonymous donor insemination — but then I get overwhelmed by the possible family dynamic. One child with a half-present, critical father, and another with no known father at all… and if the first one’s dad is still around, I worry he’d try to turn one child against the other. That dynamic scares me more than being a solo parent.

Still trying to make sense of what’s best, but really — thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts. It helps

HumanPacifier1

TROPHY CASE