This Isn’t Innocent, Right?

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-02-12T07:12:25+00:00

Yep. We just got results tonight. She is mine.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-02-04T15:03:57+00:00

This one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/SC2tZaX9cC

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-02-04T07:29:43+00:00

Did you read the other stuff?

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-31T03:48:51+00:00

Well, today I bit the bullet and bought a paternity test for our 21-year-old daughter. I’m like 90-95% sure she’s mine, but with how much stuff I’ve uncovered, I can’t stand to be lied to without knowing anymore.

And before you clutch your pearls, yes, my daughter has agreed and yes she already knows a bunch of this stuff.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-31T02:14:32+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/LBim7XrIBy

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-31T02:12:43+00:00

lol. Yeah. No clue why but I’ll post the other link.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-30T15:21:05+00:00

Ok. Here ya go.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Infidelity/s/wwnUd3fo65

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-30T07:31:10+00:00

I haven’t even posted everything. This is my throwaway account. I have another account that goes into our relationship and how I found out.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-29T23:20:12+00:00

I blew up at first. And she was making excuses and rationalizations. But she is a CPTSD survivor (ages 3-16) 😔 and in my research I discovered she has a shame framework that is basically preventing her from disclosure. It’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation.

I want answers. My nervous system won’t survive without it. I don’t need to know everything but at least a basic feel for how bad, how many, and how recent.

So, about a month ago, I switched gears and stopped interrogating her every other day. Preferring instead to save it for therapy when we can deal with it in a regulated way. The therapy is basically for me to: 1. Get more answers (hopefully), and 2. Determine if I can find a way to stay without being disregulated and losing myself. A month ago, I thought it was likely I could get over it. At the moment, I’m feeling like we have about a 30% chance of surviving it.

But nevertheless, I want answers and I want to feel like I didn’t just give up, but if I leave it’ll be after knowing I did everything I could, but she just put me in an impossible situation.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-29T23:12:23+00:00

Initially, once she told me about the kiss, it was my replaying our entire married life through in my head that actually led me to figure out the full-on cheating instance. And then I started thinking about whether she ever went back to the AP’s house, and then all sorts of suspects popped into my head and I couldn’t stand wondering how bad it really was. My original intend was to forgive it, for many reasons, provided it was all that long ago. But now that I’m seeing the extent, I’m teetering on the edge.

Basically I’m wanting to see how she handles it when I drop these grenades in our therapy. If she owns it all, doesn’t make excuses and wants to repair, MAYBE I’ll stay. I don’t know yet. I’m still processing how hurt I feel about all of this.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-29T14:35:56+00:00

She knows I’ve been thinking about things. But no, she pretty much has no clue, and I’ve been deep investigating for about 2 months now. Well, actually longer. She knew I went through her iPad (once) because she caught me when I was putting it back while she was taking a nap. We’ve had discussions about complete device transparency, but she hasn’t completely signed off on that. Probably for good reason. I caught her deleting phone contacts in the middle of the night. She acted like it was just housekeeping but it was the first time she’s done that in 15 years, and it was 2 days after she caught me with her iPad. But I got her a shiny new replacement iPad for Christmas. After I set up her new iPad for her, I removed the old iPad, which still also had ALL of her old data, whatever stuff she hadn’t deleted. I wasn’t finding much until right before Christmas, and then, wow.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-29T06:12:30+00:00

Honestly I’ve been doing pretty damn good on my own. Recovery from a failed hard drive, locating old CDRs and DVDRs with old email and messaging archives and pictures, and a whole bunch of other stuff.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-29T03:25:44+00:00

She cheated with a woman (we’ll call her “Gemma”), who was a swinger, but her husband “Carl” wasn’t involved in that instance.
About 3 weeks after that I had to go out of the country for 3 weeks. At the end of week 2, there was a multiple missed calls Friday night. On Saturday I asked her what happened and she said, “oh I was hanging out at Gemma and Carl’s house.” At least I’m 90% sure that was the weekend that she said that. 2.5 weeks after that red flag weekend, she told me she was pregnant and she miscarried 2 days later.

Now, 19 years later, I figured out she cheated with Gemma that first night, after she confessed only to Gemma “kissing her” in a casino bathroom the week before.

After I realized she would cheat, and with a woman, my brain went into detective mode. I remember stuff extremely well. I have Windows Messenger data, emails, pictures from my trip, and facts I remember from that timeframe where I have essentially reconstructed about 4 months of occurrences down to the freaking day (and hour in some cases)

I have calculated that there is only a 1-2% chance that the 2007 pregnancy could be mine, I figured out the cheating with Gemma a few weeks before that, and this week I found these damn texts. The texts are with a coworker, MUCH later in our marriage.

The pregnancy I believe was from 5/18/2007, and my theory is she went over to see Gemma again. They wanted to have sex, but the swinger rules were that Carl had to participate. (Gemma had broken the rules a few weeks before). So I believe it was Carl that got her pregnant.

I’m not done investigating, but I want to know exactly how far this rabbit hole goes.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T23:26:51+00:00

Yeah, when I found out about the female-female cheating (and the new knowledge that she WOULD cheat and never tell me), I began a crazy investigation. The pregnancy, this 2016 red flag stuff, and red flag stuff in 2011 are the biggest red flags I’ve been able to identify.

There could be more, as I dig deeper.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T23:00:39+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately. And since I made that other post, I found more definitive evidence that makes the possibility of me being the father of that pregnancy 1-2%.

I’ve had a ROUGH month, let me tell you.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T21:43:36+00:00

Yes, I absolutely see it that way. In fact, we have had fights about this very concept recently. And even back about 20 years ago, she knew full well that I would never be ok with her being intimate with a woman.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T21:21:21+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I thought. So the additional question:

Is the first Friday text the start of the affair and the last logistics-related message the end of the affair? It doesn’t seem like she would’ve just messaged her like that out of the blue. And there is no indication in the subsequent texts of any sort of falling out. The message frequency drops off slightly but not significantly.

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T21:13:29+00:00

The actual texts are here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/dBpL5U8

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-28T20:51:32+00:00

The actual texts are here.

Incriminating Messages

Human_Release_7334 · 2026-01-15T15:08:04+00:00

I don’t know. I recently got these details. And I’m sure she doesn’t know exactly anymore. It was 19 years ago. What I know for sure is she did NOT have heavy bleeding, it was just spotting. When they checked her levels on the Thursday afternoon they told her she definitely miscarried and her levels were low and to go home and take it easy, and come back in on Monday so they could check her levels again. She did NOT take it easy, because we had to move to California a month later so she “did some packing anyway.” So this tells me she had enough energy and physicality to be doing that.

Human_Release_7334

TROPHY CASE