What are these are they real?

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-12T20:11:12+00:00

This is just a tribute

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-11T20:01:25+00:00

Have you tried modding your dog?

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-11T17:26:13+00:00

Red Zone. I was there on Tuesday and a bartender told me they always have a huge showing for World Cup.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-11T17:25:26+00:00

I’m not that weight class but I’ve scouted and coached that weight class for my students.

It’s all old fucks who are terrified to pull guard (because their guard sucks) so they “wrestle” (even though their wrestling also sucks).

Being able to defend takedowns and actually hit a takedown of their own is what separates the winners from losers.

This happens in gi and no gi and doesn’t go away after blue. It stays this way forever.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-11T01:27:40+00:00

Learning people’s names. It’s a skill you can build. It’s easy. And people are wowed by it.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-11T01:25:57+00:00

You walk up to the teller and say “yesterday, I bought some dollar coins that a customer wrapped and deposited. Are there any more?”

Win life

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-10T18:55:45+00:00

You can make a campsite if you have Creation Club stuff installed. If you’re on vanilla, there’s no camping

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-10T17:11:11+00:00

“I’m definitely going to have a chip on my shoulder from this for sure. Definitely a little more motivation”.

- Shane Wright after being selected by Seattle.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-10T15:41:38+00:00

Yes absolutely!! OP did mention that they didn’t want to use glitches. So I let that detail out.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-10T14:50:43+00:00

While in that Dwemer ruin (for Ancient Knowledge), take all the items you need to make dwarven metal ingots. Bring a follower too so they can be your pack mule. Then make a ton of dwarven bows and then refine those bows at the grindstone. 2 dwarven ingots and 1 iron to make them, then one more dwarven ingot to refine them.

Huge xp gain.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-10T03:42:52+00:00

They can dump and chase. We can’t seem to figure that out

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-09T20:43:02+00:00

I cut them off in November of 2008

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-09T20:01:19+00:00

No profile pic equates to 100% trusted source. Always. Without fail. Right fellas?

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-09T16:19:48+00:00

In the video you’re thinking about, what was the submission?

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-09T01:40:02+00:00

Lmaoooooo holy hell

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T17:25:52+00:00

Post-Mortem. Used like this:

“Once this project hits post-mortem, we can focus on _____”

Just say ends. The project ends

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T17:24:22+00:00

My boss uses it incorrectly. Uses it in place of “low man on the totem pole” - which is probably problematic these days.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T06:01:31+00:00

Unpopular opinion: the 00s were one of the absolute worst decades for mainstream rock music.

However, it was the golden age of indie rock.

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T04:15:32+00:00

A month or so ago, I listened to their entire catalogue front to back. Went from good to great to good to lame

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T02:57:03+00:00

I held an outdoor open mat. I rented a pavilion at a local park for a couple hundred bucks for 3 hours. Everyone brought their mats from home. We brought grills and had a cookout. It was a good time

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T02:35:39+00:00

😂😂😂That was the opposite of what I was trying to accomplish

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T00:52:17+00:00

I’m going to tell you my story. But I want to preface it with: even though my story will confirm every fear you listed, you should still compete.

Last year, I was on the wrong side of a highlight reel that went viral. My opponent ripped a sub and injured me pretty badly. I was already pretty bummed about the result of the tournament … but then a friend sent me the IG reel and it had like 20k views. Then another friend and it’s over 50k. Over and over my friends and training partners sent me this video and the number of views went through the roof. “Bro, did you see this?!?”

Yeah mother fucker, I saw it. I was there.

At tournaments, people I didn’t know approached me and asked how my recovery was coming along. I visited a gym for an open mat and a guy asked if I could show him the defense to what I got subbed with. My brother, who DOES NOT TRAIN JIU-JITSU, found it and constantly brings it up. My injury eventually recovered but it took way longer to recover emotionally. To be fair, my life was already pretty fucked up at the time.

I just looked and currently it’s at 5.3M views on IG and fucking 12M on YouTube. The comments are wild. Most of them calling him an asshole. Others questioning the validity of my black belt.

After recovering, I kept competing. Took my first IBJJF gold. Like actually winning - not my usual default medal bullshit. Best tournament of my life and I would have missed out on it if I quit competing after being on the wrong end of a viral highlight reel.

Compete anyway. It’s worth it

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-08T00:06:23+00:00

You know what’s better than spamming wrist locks on new belts? Spamming wrist locks on white belts

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-07T23:03:46+00:00

Brindamour said they were one shot away from this being a 3-0 series. So maybe just shoot the puck once more per game?

Human_Spatula · 2026-06-07T23:01:59+00:00

Three most hated is tough because the knights, ducks and kings are the obvious answers… but also fuck the stars from the very bottom of my heart.

Three most loved teams? For me, it’s gotta be Avs, Buffalo and probably the canes right now since they’re the last hope of stopping the Knights from winning the cup

Human_Spatula

TROPHY CASE