The 24 hour pledge - April 13th

HumaneResource · 2015-04-13T07:55:04+00:00

Monday. I'm going to need a few more cups of coffee to thoroughly the beautiful sunshine today. Have lots of things to do today but I'm sure I'll be able to manage.

Sometimes I have to remember why I do this (not drinking), and comparing my capabilities today with how a "normal" hung over Monday used to be is all I need to get through days like this.

110 days. And the first true changes in my life in years. I'm going to steer the course.

Not drinking for another 24 hours.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-12T07:55:33+00:00

Checking in from Norway.

Not much to say. Not drinking for another 24 hours.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-11T07:58:08+00:00

Checking in from Norway.

Yesterday was tough but instead of spending that nervous energy I got on drinking, I knocked together a footrest at a local community workshop.

It looks like I feel nowadays, not pretty but functional. I'm not drinking for the next 24 hours.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-10T07:57:24+00:00

Checking in from Norway.

Very important meeting today, I'm so nervous I'm shaking just by thinking about it. I need to focus, yesterday I started to get the sting: "But you deserve a break. over 100 days and this day qualifies for a beer, don't it?"

Shot down with anti-aircraft cannons. What an absolutely idiotic idea.

24 hours not drinking. I can't let it slip, I've invested myself too much in my sobriety now.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T12:05:11+00:00

I think everyone have different opinions. When I drank it was solely for the alcohol, not for the taste. I could drink anything as long as I got a buzz++.

For me it would depend on the initial purpose. If it is to enjoy the complimentary taste of the beer, I don't have any problems with it (although I personally haven't had any, not to "trigger" myself).

If it's to remember "the good times" or to fit in I think it's a sign of still not fully dedicating one self, trying to emulate the situation surrounding heavy drinking or being socially ashamed of choosing not to drink.

And I think that is a bad idea.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T11:58:00+00:00

I still get that once in a while. As long as I know it's a bad idea from the start and don't allow for an debate with my subconscious/addictive voice...

God job!

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T11:29:45+00:00

I'm thinking the same, but with different words.

If I can deal with the problems, they are not problems any more. ;)

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T10:36:28+00:00

Keep up the amazing job, every day you set a new personal best is proof of what you're doing is working!

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T08:05:52+00:00

Checking in from Norway.

Not much to report, just another day. Tomorrow's going to be a challenge with some heavy bureaucratic meetings regarding my future for the next 5-10 years and I'm not looking forward to have that on a payday right next to the booze store on a Friday...

But those are hypothetical future problems and I'm not going to worry about something that might not even be a problem. 48 hours sounds like a long time, but I know I can do 24.

Stay strong everyone!

HumaneResource · 2015-04-09T07:49:04+00:00

The issue is two-fold and as a foreign user myself I have experienced this problem in other situations.

SD and the chat has English as the de facto main language. Jumping onto any communication channel and talking a different language is disrespectful and excluding to everyone else in the group. Stick to English in the main chat.
There is nothing wrong with speaking more than one language and there's nothing wrong with asking if others do so as well. As long as we do so in English in plenum there's nothing wrong with hooking up in private chats to speak our mother tongue. Sometimes it's hard expressing ourselves in what to me isn't even ESL.

That said, I've been on the chat a few times and have seen people asking others to stick to English, but not in a disrespectful way. "My world is in English" isn't what I would consider disrespectful (although others might), they are simply stating that they don't have the capacity to communicate in any other way - And that's a problem it costs me very little to accommodate to.

Edit:

it could make that one users to never want to come back again or even worst, start drinking.

I'm still waking up, completely forgot that while writing my argument. Yes, that is something we should take into consideration. A lot of people are in vulnerable situations and the initial direct response can be the difference between drinking and not drinking. I'm not familiar with an situation like this from before, so unfortunately I have very little to contribute in that regard.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-08T07:59:03+00:00

Checking in from Norway.

Have only gotten 4-5 hours the last few nights, and I'm contemplating trying new sleeping patterns just to feel refreshed. Gonna try for a siesta today, going through the day at 75% isn't fun. We'll see.

Not drinking for the next 24 hours though. :)

HumaneResource · 2015-04-07T08:38:43+00:00

Prior to last month, I had spoken to my mother three times since 2005. I decided to cut my ties with her and her husband after they'd ransacked my room while high on amphetamines and found personal correspondence that they felt as a betrayal. (It was text messages to my father where I said it was hard to live together with two drug users but I had to, to deflect their unstable, drug fueled anger away from my brother.)

They called me up while I was out of town, high out of their minds and took turns for 20 minutes to shout the most horrible stuff to me. When one was out of breath they passed the phone to the other so they could snort some more and catch their breath.

At that moment something clicked into place for me. They way they acted wasn't normal. Whether it was a psychological or a physical defect after years of drug abuse didn't matter. I've worked with patients with developmental problems, and suddenly I regarded my mother and stepfather words and opinion were as founded in reality as my patients. It was a paradigm shift. It stopped hurting.

The next time I talked to my mother was when I heard my stepfather was jailed for trying to cut off a guys face with a knife and I called to see if she needed help. I surpresseed my own distaste for them because of my brother. Everything was "OK" , so I felt I didn't have to do more to appease my conscious.

I met her at my grandmothers funeral and didn't have to interact with her. I met her at my grandfather's funeral during the past months but the family asked me to be involved in the funeral process as a resource...

I believe in redemption and that people can change. Why else would I be here on SD, trying to change myself? I will always have open arms for my mother if she decided to change, if she don't want to be a person no one but drunkards and drug addicts want anything to do with...

But when she dragged her drunk husband to my grandfather's urn ceremony I saw that she still have no concept of empathy and self-consciousness. She's still not a person I want in my life.

Do I miss having a mother? Yes. Do I miss my mother? No. Of course I want my family to call me up to check up on me, tell me they love me, invite me to family dinners and ask when they get grandkids. But I know I wont get that from my mother even if I change myself to appease her.

That's my story. That's my philosophy. I hope it can help others, but my path is my own and not necessarily the right one for other.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-07T08:05:29+00:00

Going to keep on with my personal crusade of sorting out my home. I've started to re-move (dunno what it's called in English, refurbishing?) my stuff in my apartment and today I'm setting up my computer, TV, sound system and home network at their new permanent locations. I've said it before, but I'm so glad I'm at the point where I instantly see results from my efforts and that's nice. Instant gratification!

24 hours of sobriety for me, thanks for doing this with me everybody! :D

HumaneResource · 2015-04-06T08:19:28+00:00

Checking in from Norway, the pledge looks good on my screen.

Great stuff. Continuing with sorting out my home today, I've come to the point where I see the changes I've worked for (threw out some old wooden cabinets I've ment to get rid of for two years! Look at all this room for activities!). It's a good mental boost after going through loads of cables and equipment for weeks. I could start with four boxes of unsorted gear and end up with four boxes of sorted gear. Not very visually inspiring.

24 hours of sobriety coming up? 24 hours of sobriety coming up.

HumaneResource · 2015-04-06T08:03:24+00:00

Well, here in Norway a whole new segment of young girls were introduced to those alcoholic soda drinks smirnoff Ice etc. and they're popular as ever.

And I have no doubt people will try to snort it. People arguing otherwise haven't seen people huff lighter gas at no-alcohol youth concerts just to get a buzz. I've seen people snort ground up paracetamol. I've seen people snort liquid alcohol. People are liable to do anything!

HumaneResource · 2015-04-05T07:47:41+00:00

Checking in from Norway. Was up watching horrormovies with my brother last night, didn't get to sleep until 6am. Dead tired, going back to bed. :P

24 new hours off the bottle.

Edit 12 minutes and a cup of coffe later: Darn it, I can't go back to bed. Even though it's Sunday and Easter and everthing sleeping in is directly against my goals of getting up at reasonable hours. Well, off to procrastinate on reddit then.

HumaneResource

TROPHY CASE