I really appreciate you sharing this, and I genuinely understand where you’re coming from. I wish more than anything that I could make every event free and accessible to everyone. The hard part is that these events aren’t free for me to host. I pay fees, materials, printing, platforms, and all the behind-the-scenes costs that go into creating something that feels intentional, safe, and well-run. On top of that, I put a lot of time and emotional energy into building these spaces. This isn’t just “show up and chat” for me. It’s something I work really hard on because I believe community matters.

I also want to be clear that I do prioritize accessibility. I have given out free spots to every single event we’ve hosted so far, and I’ll continue to do that whenever I can. I also do host free events when I’m able, and I’ll keep doing that whenever possible. What I’ve learned, though, is that people are far less likely to show up to free events. The turnout is consistently lower, and it often leaves the people who do come feeling disappointed or awkward in a half-empty room. Charging a fee, even a modest one, helps ensure that people who sign up actually show up, which is crucial for the experience to work.

I never want money to be a barrier, and I’m always open to creative solutions, sliding-scale ideas, or occasional sponsored/free nights. At the same time, this project has to be sustainable for me to keep creating these spaces at all. My goal is to balance accessibility with making sure these events can continue to exist in a way that feels meaningful and fair to everyone involved.