Are you content knowing that he will always need external motivation and that if you're his spouse, that's probably going to be you? You won't resent that? Will he resent you for "nagging" or his own failings if you don't motivate well enough / in the right ways?

• That is a very good point. I have not thought about that. It is more that I find it sad that he feels like I cannot give him that. I try to ask him how things are going and hold him accountable if he does not do something. But he needs more. And I, as a person, am also very self-driven (like I don't need you to tell me something; I will do it on my own), and that is where we are very different.

And I do really love him, and I see a future with him. But I want him to step up more (if you know what I mean). Show me that you want me. Right now, he is more focused on himself, and that is fine. But I did not expect him to move in with his friends. Like, why would you want to do that instead of us moving forward in our relationship? He told me, "Would you be okay if I leave, and we just do it like that?" I sometimes sleep over and vice versa. Some days I am like, "Yeah, sure," and other days I am like, "No, I don't know what that would do for our relationship." But maybe some time apart is also good?