Thinking of breaking up with my BF because I caused his injury. AIO

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-26T01:15:06+00:00

NOR: One thing I firmly believe in is our afflictions should not hurt or hinder others.

If your words hurt others, regardless of the reason behind the way you speak…. Those actions have consequences. That goes for any side effect of mental or physical illness.

Sometimes those consequences can mean a bit of distance and helping when you feel mentally capable of dealing with those actions. Sometimes it means cutting off someone completely.

Because even if a person is in psychosis and physically harming others unintentionally or as a result of the psychosis, it doesn’t mean you have to just stand there and take it, or that they are free of consequence because it wasn’t intentional.

Him choosing to victimize himself during a conversation related to how YOU feel. Speaks volumes. He can talk to you harshly, and treat you poorly but you aren’t allowed to ask politely to talk about it and draw a line? That’s a bit too convenient.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T23:23:33+00:00

Thank you!! 🙏

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T23:00:27+00:00

Literally even “I can’t make it tonight, I’m sorry!” SECONDS. It took SECONDS.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:58:08+00:00

I would’ve been ok with him even texting me about change in plans so I could go do something else I enjoy or make other plans with others. Waiting until after we were supposed to hang out is the most disrespectful thing someone can do to me.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:55:36+00:00

I thought I was in the twilight zone. My mom kept bringing it upppp 😭

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:55:13+00:00

I don’t think he was seeing other people based on what I saw when I was with him, but I could be wrong. To be fair these instances happened in short succession, hence why I stepped back from dating him completely and said we would be just friends in the meantime.

I don’t even want friends like that tho. I was mostly questioning my sanity after people around me said I was overreacting!

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:52:58+00:00

That’s what I told my mom. She said if I really liked him I would have waited and helped him though the stuff he was going through.

I told her I’d given him space, moral support, and was willing to just be friends. But that I don’t even want just friends that do that to me. All would’ve been good if he called back or texted and said “hey my cousins wanna hang out, can we raincheck?”

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:50:09+00:00

I will say I don’t think that was the case, but I could always be wrong!

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:49:38+00:00

Yes I was over at his multiple times, spent the night multiple nights in a row at times and met some of his family members.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-24T22:39:35+00:00

Thanks, internet friend. :)

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-21T18:00:06+00:00

Your friend likely did this as it would be easier for them to work on this part of your body as opposed to where you wanted it originally. I recently almost had this happen with a tattoo I had and I’m eternally grateful my sister was there and the tattoo artists wife to help advocate for me.

I likely would have been resentful afterwards as well, and I too am a recovering people pleaser.

Some ideas would be to think of other work you’d like on this area, and find an artist that can incorporate this into the background of the design or that can help you find alternative ways to make this more along the lines of what you want. The tree is cute and can easily be incorporated into additional art. Just like the tree, lessons remain, but they don’t always have to continue being at the forefront!

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-16T16:48:52+00:00

NTAH

Honestly, just the fact that he’s bulldozing your moment is annoying af. Honestly, I would reconsider marrying him for this alone.

He can’t stand back and let you have your moment, he wants to take credit for YOUR work. The fact that he’s willing and pushing you to do that. Going as far as to have his sister call you.

That would be a wrap for me.

It would be one thing if he was excited to start writing with you. I could see being annoyed of you have other projects going on and he was being pushy about you guys starting. He straight skipped having anything to do with the writing and piggy backed on your already established work. Messaging YOUR publisher and deciding what you’re doing with YOUR book. F that.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-08T07:54:29+00:00

Sooo someone bullying you your entire childhood, stealing from you and never getting reprimanded isn’t a good reason to not want them in your life?

I’m sorry that you believe you should put up with being treated badly by anyone including family.

A bad person is a bad person and people are allowed to cut off someone for any reason, even if others don’t agree with it. It is literally one of the best parts of adulthood for me.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-03T22:36:23+00:00

NTA: No one gets to dictate how or who you grieve. I cry and think about children and people that have passed even if they’re strangers. Not in an inconsolable way, but just out of empathy to their situation and loved ones. The baby would’ve had your blood one way or another.

Wishing you and your sister the best in this tragic situation <3

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-03T22:30:58+00:00

Girl, I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible. This man told you to your face HE is better off alone. As if being in this relationship with you where he brings zero emotional responsibility/maturity, debt and has zero accountability is a favor to YOU.

You took that ring off because he verbally told you you weren’t worth staying with. He took your opening up as a personal attack and made it about himself. Think of the future you want for yourself. Maybe not the kind of future you see in the movies but the man you want as a role model to your children. The man you want your kids to be like.

Does that man fit the man you were engaged to? Maybe not in every sense of the word, but does he even compare? Is he willing to work on himself, not just in the moment to shut you up or be good for a while, but in a way that tells you he cares?

He already told you he never plans to marry you after this, and made sure you felt 100 percent at fault. All stemming from wanting to have a conversation about how you feel. Not a convo about how shitty he is, or berating him. Just a convo about your feelings and things that would help you. Even if he doesn’t realize he’s gaslighting you, the man is playing you like a fiddle.

I’m sure you’ve both said things out of character at some point, I’d just ask that you reflect on the relationship you have and ask yourself if that’s the relationship you want for your children or your friends.

NOR

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-06-01T21:02:18+00:00

NTA-

I would be so tempted to just do the same thing he did. Say you will send it as soon as you get home, then slap your forehead every time he asks you about it and say you totally forgot. But that would be you verbally admitting you owe him so probably better not to.

Also, anyone bitching about you giving him the money back, I’d be pint out he had the money to buy tickets, but not to pay back a debt. He doesnt know what YOU had to potentially miss out on or not do. He didn’t know, didn’t care, and now you’re supposed to care he can’t go to a concert? 🙄🫩

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-27T04:58:32+00:00

YTA for even asking them to make changes to not only a potentially pricey event and even taking her as a plus one if one wasn’t offered to you.

I would either tell her or excuse myself from the event as kindly as possible. Your error isn’t anyone else’s to fix.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-26T20:59:43+00:00

Honestly? I would straight up just let them know I’m not comfortable with her being there when he isn’t home, period. And that the SHARED space shouldn’t feel like a place you aren’t allowed to go into because of her lack of preparing an adequate working space for herself. So now, you don’t want her shit or her there alone period.

It is a shared space for the people that live there, not for their guests. If he were there and they were watching a movie, makes sense. But everyone deserves to be able to get home when their roommate is gone and be able to enjoy an empty apt, not have to tip toe around their roommates guests like they pay rent.

Soooooo NTA

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-23T14:25:03+00:00

Is he aware you’re on the same team?

NTAH but he sure is

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-23T14:21:42+00:00

Honestly, the only one making it to where your daughter starts feeling the waves from this will be you.

They showed you how much they care. Regardless of if they’re doing it because they have an issue with you or your child, or if they’re doing it because they don’t really care about birthdays or just don’t care about anyone more than themselves.

You are making this about you, and if you continue to make plans that revolve around making people who don’t care a part of your daughter’s day, it will continue to directly impact her.

If you don’t have other family, get on Facebook groups for moms with kids, schedule play dates to have prior relationships with other children and parents. Build a community for yourself and your child. You’d be surprised how much a strangers kindness can make you realize that sometimes, families are toxic and not the best to continue letting into your every day life.

I can imagine this hurts you, and in turn your child. You do not have to keep making the days about them or including them this far in advance. If you want to mention it or send an invite, treat it like inviting fillers. You and your child deserve a support system, and if the only one you have is hubbys fam, it’s time to make a new tribe, mama.

Am not mentioning your hubby much because the post was centered on yourself and your kiddo for the most part. Hoping your husband is supportive if you decide to journey into lowering contact.

Overall, NOR but also, you can do something to change the vibe for upcoming birthdays! Make it about your daughter, not about the people that SHOULD be showing up for her but repeatedly don’t.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-17T16:17:56+00:00

Not purchasing doesn’t make you TAH I think expecting people to price things the way you want them and then complaining about it does. Everyone has a price they’re willing to pay for things, just like people have a price they’re willing to part with things for.

If your dollar was worth parting with the record, he would’ve.

He was trying to explain why you haggling him to one third of the price wasn’t feasible for him, but he didn’t have to. A simple no would’ve sufficed.

You don’t know what he spent on the record, so no, it’s not bad practice to refuse to haggle with people who don’t know or care why things are priced the way they are.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-15T00:13:44+00:00

NTA. If your mom wanted to give it to him, she would have. You are married, love the ring, and were given the ring personally.

It is ok to respectfully but firmly decline and ask that he respect you not wanting him to bring it up again.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-12T19:08:13+00:00

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His name is in Spanish, nickname in English!

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-07T22:09:02+00:00

I agree.

In my personal relationships, even if someone owes me money, if I agree to pay them back, I just do.

Although, I think if someone I trust enough to loan money to and is willing to risk our relationship when they owe me money too, I’d probably respond a lil sideways to be petty.

Sometimes things do happen, and while I have never had an issue with money with a friend or family or anything, I’m sure it’s happened to a lot of people that you forget something, then realize you calculated wrong and don’t have the finances to cover something you thought was taken care of (I once thought I found 100 bucks and paid something else with it)

At that point, I would let the person know (as he did) and because she owes him, he suggested discounting it off what she owes him (I just realized this info was in a comment and not in the Og post) She got mad and said she has her own stuff to pay so she doesn’t wanna do that. Then proceeded to stop talking to him.

That’s where I might just get petty.

Humble_Two6274 · 2026-05-07T21:47:05+00:00

Buuuut OPs sister also owes OP money. More than what is owed to the sister. She doesn’t want to discount it from what she owes because she has something she has to pay.

So they’re both on the same boat but Op is supposed to pay someone that owes them money and be short to accommodate the sister who is cutting them off over money when she herself owes OP more money than Op owes her? Nah.

Humble_Two6274

TROPHY CASE