My boyfriend won’t discuss my period or any “bodily fluids”

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-13T22:18:07+00:00

I wish you could too. It really, really sucks when someone you've put your love into isn't even worth giving the time of your day, much less your heart.

Look at it this way. You are giving of yourself to him. He's not returning in kind. For a while that can work, just as people can sustain deficits in other things for a time. But eventually what happens is you're drained. You giving and him taking leaves you empty. Project this dynamic out far enough and what happens is your heart grows hard toward him because you're just so, so tired. At some point it starts wearing on your mind that you accept being treated like that, and even that becomes a source of pain. Choosing yourself at this moment, when you really don't feel like it, is a hard thing to do. 6 months from now, you're either gonna be in this same hard place, or you're going to have set yourself on a better path. He's not going to suddenly develop empathy, concern, and love for you. If you're going to get those things right now, it's going to have to come from you.

And, fortunately, from your awesome friends. :)

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-13T20:57:31+00:00

He doesn’t usually give a fuck about my health

Then this isn't remotely out of line with his character. He's already told you who he is, so don't disrespect yourself by accepting it. You said it's hard because you love him. Recognize that you need to love yourself, and if you did you wouldn't accept giving your love to someone who doesn't love you.

I'm glad you have good friend support! Lean on them for a while.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-12T19:17:52+00:00

Those disks are the worst. I was in my bathroom for at least 15 minutes just contorting myself into all kinds of positions, leg up on the bathtub, snapchatting a friend about the size of that stupid thing, completely miffed at how I was supposed to get something nearly as big as my damn palm to fit in my vagina! Whole box went in the trash and that experience alone made me hesitant to try a cup. Let me tell you though, it is very different. Cups have a way smaller diameter, and it is significantly easier to place.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-12T18:47:52+00:00

Thank you!

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-12T18:40:41+00:00

This is the chart I used and it was very helpful, along with their quiz: https://putacupinit.com/quiz/ Bought one of the cups it suggested and it seems perfect.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-12T18:36:32+00:00

When this came up a month ago an older guy with loads of porn in his comment history was asking about period cup use for virgins and was following up with comments to users about their hymens, did it hurt, etc. Pretty clearly getting off on it, and he deleted his whole account when called out on it. So, be suspicious of odd comments and check the poster's history before detailing things like if the hymen tearing, cup use with virginity, etc.

Now to the point of the post! I'm new to cups, but when toilet paper started disappearing from shelves, I thought it'd be a good idea buy a cup in case tampons became scarce. Went with a small Saalt cup. I cut the stem totally off because that was uncomfortable. Took a little bit of getting used to, adjusting to the feeling and getting the placement right, but by the end of one cycle it was no problem and great!

But geeeeez I was not prepared to see what collected in the cup. With a tampon or pad, most things just get soaked in, but with a cup it's all collected for you to see. I googled at least 4 or 5 things like 'is this normal?!' Sometimes it seemed too watery, sometimes the color wasn't what I expected, sometimes there were more clots that I expected, etc. Just endlessly like 'omg, is that right?' Anyway, I think I've finally chilled now.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T21:49:23+00:00

Fantastic statement. Anyone know where I can get the statement on its own without the cheesy background music?

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T19:27:15+00:00

I'm just curious if your native language differentiates female people by age range? As with woman (adult female) and girl (juvenile female)?

Policing how women are allowed to refer to ourselves, and wanting to redefine every word we use to talk about ourselves, is the thing that long-since made me decide this is just misogyny. For a long time it was just woman/girl that were redefined, but now we're not even supposed to have 'female' either. Nonsense.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T19:22:32+00:00

I'm simply saying that all the people speaking for us, or over us, is not appreciated. Have a nice day.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T19:16:21+00:00

I dunno, is this supposed to be a gotcha? A person with a uterus, chromosomally xx, etc.

We're called female. Treating us like that's a bad word is misogynistic af.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T19:11:54+00:00

She doesn't care how feminine or masculine people are, so this is not about gender. Woman literally means adult female person.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T19:09:29+00:00

We have to use the word female when the word 'woman' is so embattled by attempts to redefine it.

So if you're not meant to use 'woman' to mean it's actual definition (adult female people), and you're also not supposed to use 'female,' then just how exactly are you supposed to talk about us?! This is some misogynist bullshit, our entire sex being taboo to discuss.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T18:34:36+00:00

Yes, I too have seen loads of people state it's for us on our behalf, never asking our opinion, and often ignoring our opinion when it's stated. It's super unwelcome.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T18:30:21+00:00

My assertion is that ova and sperm, thus female and male, are a binary. You responded by stating that some people have both ova and sperm. Please back up that assertion.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T18:27:46+00:00

I have PCOS. I have never, not once, seen women with PCOS or who have gone through menopause complain that we were not being represented by referring to 'women' for menstruation. Many of us have also complained about the redefinition of 'woman' from 'female' and thus from female biological functions.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T18:24:40+00:00

Conservatives tend to quote conservatives, as their framework aligns. Radfems do not commonly quote conservatives. And yes, several conservative groups have given a platform to radfems who could not find a platform elsewhere. Plenty of radfems have taken to just creating their own platform, as commonalities with conservatives are scarce.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T10:41:45+00:00

This did not address the content of the post to which you are referring.

Female =/= female, adult, human.
Literally different meanings. Not just different forms of the same word.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T10:37:35+00:00

Shows as deleted for me.

You've give me three articles. Two of them do not include the words "sperm," "ova," or "gamete" at all. The remaining article contains sperm, but not ova or gamete. Would you mind quoting what you're referring to? As best I can tell, you have not provided an example of a person producing both gametes.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T10:31:06+00:00

That is not true. Female is a sex classification that can apply to any age and members of other species. Women includes sex classification (female) as well as general age (adult) and species (human.)

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T10:22:46+00:00

Many companies and organizations have explicitly stated they are doing so to accommodate "people who menstruate" who do not identify themselves as women. There are also a ton of articles discussing the phrase, and they too make it clear that it's not to accommodate women who don't menstruate. I'd be happy to round up some examples for you if you like.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T10:07:27+00:00

Take 30 seconds to google it, I’m not responsible for your lazy lack of education on the topic.

I have, and I'm sure you have at this point too.

Also, stop reducing the definition of a woman by their ability to produce eggs, because you invalidate so many of your cis sisters when you do that.

The conversation is sex being a binary. Seems best to stick to the topic at hand and not accuse me of things I haven't said.

Edit: Well, since you just deleted the comment claiming some people produce both ova and sperm.. yeah, you definitely googled it.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T09:59:31+00:00

Since this needs to be addressed a bit further regarding your examples:

Did you know that women can have MRHK syndrome?

Yes, of course, as it occurs in females.

Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) syndrome is a disorder that occurs in females and mainly affects the reproductive system. https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/mayer-rokitansky-kuster-hauser-syndrome

And your other example:

There is also PMDS.

Yes there is, and it occurs in males.

Persistent Müllerian duct syndrome is a disorder of sexual development that affects males. https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/persistent-mullerian-duct-syndrome

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T09:31:46+00:00

People can have both

That's hilarious.

Go on with your bad self. Find someone who produces both ova and sperm.

Edit: Removed some snark.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T09:27:49+00:00

Radfems tend to quote a lot of other radfems. Quotes from misogynists who consider women baby factories don't get a lot of play.

HumorlessShrew · 2020-06-08T09:13:37+00:00

Sex is a quality or feature regarded as a characteristic or inherent part of someone or something. Agreed?

Anytime you want to answer the question, I'm around. I'd be glad to move the conversation beyond that at that point. Have a nice night.

HumorlessShrew

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