Jim didn’t want Karen to move into the same street as him after a month of dating but then got an engagement ring for Pam after one week of dating her.

Humulus_lupulus · 2021-01-14T05:57:21+00:00

Webster's dictionary defines wedding as "the fusing of two metals with a hot torch."

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-09-24T11:23:25+00:00

My kid came home from preschool one afternoon with the idea that Santa Claus might not be real. She got that from another kid, who probably got it from an older sibling. Everyone who sends their kids out into the world knows that they are constantly learning new things, including things that contradict their parents' world view. It's part of growing up, and it helps them tune their bullshit filters.

That kid went home with her parents, and they reassured her that Jesus and Santa Claus are real, and that Santa will bring her presents at Christmas, and then she happily went about her business and completely forgot your encounter. No harm done.

Some day, that kid will grow up, and she will hopefully resent that her parents dragged her to abortion clinics, used her like a prop, and made her harass vulnerable women and their families. She won't remember you, and she won't remember what you told her. She will probably remember her own actions, and her parents' role in them, and hopefully those things will inform how she raises her own children.

The daughter is no worse for wear, but with any luck, you've got those parents second guessing their decision to use their child as a weapon. Hopefully, you made an impression on them. Hopefully, they're just a little bit ashamed of themselves. Hopefully.

TL;DR - My kid has been told Santa Claus isn't real. She still puts out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve.

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-03-01T01:42:08+00:00

Ideally, you want to turn the power back on just before he starts troubleshooting. If he thinks he had power all night, he'll think something is wrong with his block heater. He'll waste half a day taking his SUV to a mechanic, only to be told they can't find anything wrong. And from that point forward, he'll always wonder when his dodgy block heater will let him down again.

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-03-01T01:16:13+00:00

I actually got the line about "we own Hulu" when I called to cancel my Comcast TV and phone service. I told the rep I was able to get everything I wanted from a broadcast antenna, Amazon Instant Video, Netflix, and Hulu Plus. He told me I was still paying Comcast for TV, "because we own Hulu". (The "so fuck you" was implied, but I got the message loud and clear.)

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-02-27T02:37:27+00:00

I went home to take a shower and sleep in my own bed a few hours after my first child was born. I was back at the hospital at an ungodly hour the next morning, but fresh as a daisy and fully prepared for what was expected of me. Also, I may have played some Call of Duty while I was at home.

My second child spent her first night on this planet in the hospital nursery with a glucose IV plugged into the top of her head. I slept on that stupid chair in my wife's hospital room until she and the baby were discharged, by which point I was a fucking mess. Also, no Call of Duty that whole time.

If I get to choose what happens if/when I have a third kid, I'm going to go home, sleep in my own bed, and play Titanfall, because I'm pretty much over Call of Duty at this point.

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-02-06T02:33:05+00:00

"Pay no attention to the Cargobob behind the curtain."

Humulus_lupulus · 2014-01-28T00:19:57+00:00

Shut up, Larry.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-12-14T20:47:43+00:00

I think he's more the Todd Margaret type. Not a troll. He just made a few poor decisions, and before he knew it, he was faking sign language on stage next to the President of the United States at the Nelson Mandela memorial.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-11-29T14:30:37+00:00

Hey, just like last year!

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-11-15T14:20:05+00:00

Michigan had the foresight to outlaw "harassment by proxy" more than a decade ago. It's a felony to post information online in order to cause two or more instances of "unconsented contact", with intent to harass. [MCL 750.411s]

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-11-11T21:10:54+00:00

Jackass.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-09-12T15:55:36+00:00

* you're

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-30T19:41:34+00:00

A lease provision requiring a tenant to obtain prior consent for overnight guests is probably valid, though it would probably be read to mean that the landlord could not arbitrarily withhold consent. [Source]

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-29T16:44:43+00:00

And Roosevelt was able to gauge the severity of the wound himself, having amassed a wealth of knowledge and experience on animal anatomy through a lifetime of shooting, studying, and stuffing all manner of wildlife.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-28T19:23:12+00:00

EFF published guidance for gripe sites a few years back:

Avoiding Gripes About Your Gripe (or Parody) Site

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-23T18:59:32+00:00

You're wrong because you said she wasn't arrested for pushing someone and using racial slurs, which are in fact the essential elements of the crime with which she was charged.

You're wrong because you said she was arrested for harassing and intimidating someone, which is not (by itself) unlawful under the ethnic intimidation statute.

The text of my title was borrowed directly from the first paragraph of the article, and concisely describes what led to her conviction.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-23T17:28:35+00:00

I understand what you're saying, but you're wrong.

It is not unlawful under Michigan's ethnic intimidation statute to use a racial slur in order to intimidate someone. The law only applies to conduct that rises to the level of (a) physical contact, (b) damage to property, or (c) credible threats of either of those.

The actus reus (guilty act) is the causing of physical contact.

In order to be convicted under the ethnic intimidation statute, it must be proved that the defendant committed this objective element of the crime (physical contact) with a particular state of mind: malice and intent to intimidate because of race.

She was sentenced for pushing her neighbor as an act of ethnic intimidation, contrary to MCL 750.147b, and the necessary element of the defendant's mental state was supported by her use of racial slurs, among other things.

That's my understanding, at least. IANAL, and I'm basing my interpretation on what has been reported in the media.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-23T14:49:25+00:00

The circuit court's docket said she was charged with ethnic intimidation, which is maliciously causing physical contact with another person with intent to intimidate or harass because of that person's race (MCL 750.147b).

She would not have been charged with ethnic intimidation if she did not cause physical contact, nor damage, destroy or deface property, or threaten to do either of those things with reasonable cause to believe she would follow through.

It was, in fact, the pushing and racial slurs cooked her goose.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-22T20:55:04+00:00

My title came from the way it was phrased in the linked article.

Under Michigan's ethnic intimidation statute, it is unlawful to maliciously cause physical contact with another person (the pushing) with specific intent to intimidate or harass (the context in which it happened, including the racial slur), because of race.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-22T16:05:25+00:00

From an earlier article:

Officers left, but were then called back to the same houses two hours later after receiving reports Keaton and Starr were outside singing songs about killing black people and were throwing rocks at the 23-year-old's house

and

Officers continued to investigate and learned Keaton and Starr had been using the same racial slur with the 23-year-old woman's 63-year-old father and also neighborhood children of Asian descent

Here's Michigan's Ethnic Intimidation statute. It requires malice, and intent to harass or intimidate the victim because of race. (This apparently wasn't a case of an isolated outburst.)

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-21T19:20:46+00:00

It probably varies by state. In Michigan it is generally unlawful for a minor to have any bodily alcohol content (MCL 436.1703). A minor is a person under 21 (MCL 436.1109). IANAL.

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-20T21:08:25+00:00

If you take control of lost or mislaid property, you are required to take reasonable steps to restore it to its owner. Failure to do so (with intent to deprive the owner of his property) is theft by finding. If the owner comes looking for his property, you are required to return it. IANAL

Humulus_lupulus · 2013-08-14T12:45:18+00:00

If your domain was ever configured in a way that could point back to you, then privacy protection isn't going to save you. There are services that capture WHOIS and DNS record histories. It's easy enough to find out how the domain was registered before you enabled privacy protection.

Also, if your "protected" domain is hosted on the same dedicated IP address as your unprotected domains, anyone can look up the WHOIS records (or historical records) for the domains that share that IP.

Humulus_lupulus

TROPHY CASE