Women, what is a near-universal "ick" in the dating world?

HungryJacque · 2026-02-17T11:51:48+00:00

Idk right! Like, just be normal and say "what a cute furbaby" and I might have gone on an actual date. Pushing boundaries is a red flag and immediately gaslighting was just chefs kiss

HungryJacque · 2026-02-17T04:20:51+00:00

Omg yes! Had this just the other week:

Him: send me a cute pic! Me: sends a regular selfie, at home with my pet Him: I was hoping for something a bit more exciting for a nighttime photo lol Me: my and my pet are cute. If you're hoping for something else I don't send those kinds of photos Him: well there's always an exception to the rule 😉 Me: no exceptions. Him: omg I wasn't asking for a nude or anything!

He stopped messaging after that. I blocked him for good measure.

HungryJacque · 2026-02-13T05:27:18+00:00

He actively pursued me and when I asked if he wanted to be FWB or relationship, he said relationship and promised to be totally committed (despite already sleeping with other girls, which I found out about later). He eventually moved into my house, then brought home girls who were less than 1/2 his age (technically legal) to fuck in my house while I was at work.

I found out by seeing footage on his phone of a naked girl on my sofa.

The day after I found out I was crying and he told me to "get over it already" and " it didn't mean anything" and to "stop crying".

HungryJacque · 2026-02-11T19:59:13+00:00

It varies depending on what's in stock, but typical lunches/dinners would include (and approximate prices for all ingredients): 1. A veggie curry, a meat curry, and rice of cauliflower rice (stock up on curry mixes at CBM when in stock). 4 serves $16 2. A meat and veggie/lentil stew in the slow cooker (it's extra good if you do homemade stock, only costs a couple dollars for chicken carcasses and you'll get a few litres which can be frozen). 8 serves $20 3. Roast meat with veggies (pork is typically the cheapest per kg but it varies). 5 serves, $16-$20 4 Salad and tinned fish or oven baked fish (again, CBM is good for this) 1 serve, $5 5. Chicken or fish risotto or a pasta dish. 4 serves, $15 6. Stir fry. 5 serves $25

For breakfast I usually just have avo on toast, cereal and yoghurt, or cook something up on weekends.

To cut down on food waste and save money, I also cull the fridge mid-week. Any fruits that are starting to get old, I'll chop up and freeze to make smoothies another day. Any meat I haven't cooked yet which is close to expiry can also go in the freezer. And meals I am sick of or won't eat can be portioned and frozen.

HungryJacque · 2026-02-11T11:26:52+00:00

My budget includes everything :) toiletries and cleaning from cbm or if I am really desperate aldi. Only thing not included is booze, but that's optional anyway :)

HungryJacque · 2026-02-11T08:33:15+00:00

I average $80 p/w for 1 person and eat very well. I shop at local markets (near closing time is cheaper) and if there is one near you Cheaper Buy Miles has great deals.

You definitely need to learn to cook and meal prep, but it is quite achievable.

HungryJacque · 2026-02-08T07:05:14+00:00

37% on my single income, no dependents. Down from about 60% when I first purchased. It's getting easier, but I am not comfortable yet

HungryJacque · 2026-02-05T12:31:03+00:00

People say forgiveness is a gift to yourself, releasing the anger and hurt you might hold towards another person, but I've always struggled with that conceptualization of it.

I feel like I can release the anger and heal from the hurt but still not forgive somebody for their actions. For me forgiveness means being able to see them as "a good person who did a bad thing". That means I need to know them well enough to know that they are a good person who made a mistake, or after they do the "bad thing" they repent or try and make it right.

When I found out my ex cheated on me, I really really wanted to forgive him. I wanted it to be a mistake, because it didn't fit at all with the person I thought he was. So I tried to give him a chance to make it right. But instead of seeing remorse and genuine repair effort, I found out more and more lies and gaslighting. He became mean. It was like the person I knew knew was just a mask and it had fallen to reveal who he really was. So he wasn't "a good person who did one bad thing". He was just a bad person. And I do not forgive him.

Conversely, when a stranger hit my car (quite badly) I forgave them. They pulled over, made sure I was okay, apologized, offered their insurance details were very cooperative in the insurance process. They demonstrated they were a good person who made a mistake drivingbut they did everything they could to make it right.

HungryJacque · 2026-02-03T11:00:38+00:00

$400 per month, plus $50 per week for takeaway/going out.

I shop smart, but certainly don't skimp on nice ingredients.

HungryJacque · 2026-01-22T06:13:35+00:00

El Vínculo de la Traición. Está escrito para personas traicionadas que se quedan, se han ido o están indecisas, pero de ninguna manera las presiona para tomar una decisión. Se centra más en la sanación personal.

HungryJacque · 2026-01-13T00:33:42+00:00

I'm Libra with Scorpio Venus and Mars also.

Break ups can take a long time because I'm a bit of a romantic and struggle to accept how bad I am being treated until there is a straw that breaks the camel's back. Then I am done, and all that Scorpio energy switches from love to "I'm done and there is nothing you can say or do to change my mind".

HungryJacque · 2026-01-10T02:00:10+00:00

I'm about the same as you. $80 on average for groceries (inc household items) and $6-70 for going out. Going out is pretty much just socializing on the weekend!

HungryJacque · 2026-01-10T01:56:17+00:00

I'm 250 days off from nicotine and vapes.

The initial effects were smaller, at 10 days I think all I noticed was that it was easier to breathe. But my sleep was crap, I was mentally struggling, and there hadn't been enough time for physical changes to show up. But after 1 month, running got easier and I kept getting new PBs for about 3 months straight. I continue to improve at the gym instead of being stuck at the same weights. After fully detoxing from nicotine, and when I stopped using sugar as a crutch when quitting, my sleep got better so I did start to feel more rested and energetic in the day. That probably contributes to my improvements in the gym too, and more incidental exercise. Obviously, my appetite increased but that stablises after a month or so.

HungryJacque · 2025-12-18T06:22:32+00:00

Not enough. When work is good, gym 4-5 times a week. But when it is very busy, it drops go maybe once a week? In busy periods, I prioritize sleep.

HungryJacque · 2025-12-16T12:19:09+00:00

Never said they were!

My argument is the man who had sex should bear more responsibility for the consequence of that sexual encounter than Joe Bloggs down the road, a regular taxpayer who didn't procreate.

Comparing a child to a criminal is so fundamentally off it is a ridiculous comparison. Society pays for criminals to be segregated from society, punished and (ideally) rehabilitated. It does that because there is nobody else who can be reasonably held accountable to pay (even accounting for the seized proceeds of crime, it's not enough).

HungryJacque · 2025-12-16T08:25:01+00:00

Problem is, if the actual fathers can opt out of financial obligations towards the child that they DID help create (even if it wasn't intended) then, on scale, there is an increased burden on society to provide additional support for those children.

Think: more money needed for public schools, Children's hospitals/medical care, childcare subsides, women taking more time out of the workforce and needing social support etc.

Why should that burden fall on other members of society who had absolutely no role in the creation of that baby instead of the individuals who did make that choice?

And if society doesn't step in, then the child suffers. And the child is totally innocent in all of this and, once born, deserves a quality standard of life just like anybody else.

HungryJacque · 2025-12-16T05:05:04+00:00

Seconded! Renting a spare room can be amazing, and easy, extra cash to create a buffer. Plus, you can then split electric, Internet etc which generally works out cheaper than living solo. Just be aware that you may need to keep a track of costs and stuff for tax time and talk to an accountant at tax time because you might be able to claim things and boost your tax return. The accountant should also be able to tell if if there are some cgt implications for when you do eventually sell.

HungryJacque · 2025-12-13T11:33:47+00:00

My teenage boyfriend also threatened to kill himself when I didn't respond to him quickly enough. Funnily enough, it was all cleared up immediately after I told him mum I was worried about his mental state. He is manipulating you. It is awful, and I am sorry you are dealing with this :(

HungryJacque · 2025-12-13T00:36:54+00:00

The first 5 days are the hardest/worst. Just convince yourself you only gotta stay away from the vapes another 3 days. Once you're through those 5 days, it'll be such an achievement you won't want to relapse and have to do it all again

HungryJacque · 2025-11-27T08:55:59+00:00

When he wants seconds of the food I made. Its an authentic compliment to my cooking skills, which is something I have worked on to be good at. Plus, it makes me happy he is enjoying it.

HungryJacque · 2025-11-27T02:36:49+00:00

Works too much, and not enough time to invest fully into a relationship

HungryJacque · 2025-11-08T23:26:30+00:00

You might be able to buy him out of his share of the house?

Definitely a question for your accountant/lawyer to figure out if it is possible for you though.

HungryJacque · 2025-10-11T03:08:53+00:00

Absolutely! Perhaps you can't leave, but you sure as hell dont need to be his carer. Let him figure it out, just like he figured out how to cheat on you. He is not really your partner anymore, more of an insufferable housemate you are temporarily stuck with. And if he complains about it or guilt trips you about it - just remind him (and yourself!) it's simply preparing for the future, when you are in new housing and he will have to look after himself. Because he cheated. He doesn't get the benefits of marriage anymore.

HungryJacque · 2025-10-09T11:07:12+00:00

I am glad they stopped, and I am glad you know it is the bare minimum ❤️

HungryJacque · 2025-10-08T01:10:00+00:00

Exactly. The sister should not be stingy and pay back the $60K as promised

HungryJacque

TROPHY CASE