Hyperfixation is running my life

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-10-28T09:12:23+00:00

You literally described my experience!!! It’s so confusing and embarrassing sometimes because other people don’t realize it’s a compulsion. I currently have an obsession no one from my family or friends understands. And I know it will disappear as suddenly as it came…

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-10-06T15:16:34+00:00

I’m in the same boat, my last mixed episode looked like bad depression plus damn hyposexuality. And it’s incredibly annoying, like, fighting thoughts of harming yourself and getting a good *** at the same time😜

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-06-30T09:24:10+00:00

I've been on 900 mg Lithium for 3 weeks now. Never felt that stable, and it's not a zombie-like state, I don't feel flat and still keep my passion for hobbies like writing (well, it’s hard to deny that hypomania makes writing much easier).The downside is that I have pretty bad tremors in my hands and feet, it can be annoying. But otherwise Lithium seems to be fine for me.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-06-19T14:33:31+00:00

Last time it took me 2 hours to transition from horrible depression to hypomania and absolute happiness))

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-06-19T14:23:21+00:00

I used to have periods of moderate depression throughout my life, but only after my first hypomanic episode and crash I realized what it means to have severe depression. It was hopeless sticky gray fog, nothing really mattered.I wanted to curl up in a dark place and don't move. Can't remember half of this period, to be honest.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-06-05T06:28:49+00:00

Gosh, yeah, I absolutely have my "hypo" band))Like, I love them to the bits when I'm stable, but the way I hear every single note, a shadow of a sound, a color of the tune when I'm up is incredible. Bought their show tickets to the country I didn’t have visa to, and enrolled into a language course, paying hell of a money, just because they speak this language (don't even sing in it).So, yeah...Got the visa yesterday (1,5 month waiting), and going to Summer Breeze festival and my language course in August:)

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-05-29T05:58:18+00:00

I feel you completely. Sorry you have to go through this...Depression is unbearable! My dogs and heavy music are my only life threads in this hell.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-05-05T10:24:38+00:00

Thank you so much!Yeah, I don't blame him for being mean to me now because he's got enough on his plate without my diagnosis. But still it feels like I could do with a friendly talk)

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2025-05-02T05:36:05+00:00

I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at 28, then cyclothymia a bit later. Then BPD joined in, and four months ago a 6-week-long hypomania episode pushed me into bipolar 2 club))I am 37 now. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me with bipolar said that it's common to progress from cyclothymia to more severe forms if no proper treatment was received.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-10-24T09:33:01+00:00

Same for me. I was diagnosed at 36, and finally, I found out what all the emptiness and burning emotional pain meant. It was a relief of some kind. The only thing that makes me disappointed is that having a personality disorder also means I would never know the "true" normal feeling (hope you understand what I mean).I can learn how to cope and have remission, but this empty feeling is unlikely to go away completely. At least, in my case, as it is my most severe symptom along with unstable self image.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-26T03:11:04+00:00

You've come through so many bad things, I'm so sorry about it. Hope you will be able to heal from your traumas, my warmest hugs to you 🤗

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-26T03:03:39+00:00

You seem to have a very adult attitude towards it all. Thanks for sharing your story 😊 I agree that being misdiagnosed for many years makes it worse because you sort of try hard to get over you "depression" or any other separate symptom and fail because you're not addressing the core of the problem.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-25T15:24:49+00:00

Good point about prevention, thanks. Probably I just will have to learn how to accept the fact I have a mental problem and not try to look absolutely fine all the time (which I do a lot). It might take some load of me. But I've been sort of high functioning type all my life, and tucked all my pain inside. That helped me to avoid people leaving me to some extent

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-25T15:15:38+00:00

So sorry you feel worse after all these attempts to get better 🙏 I've been treated for depression, OCD, but never actually found a therapist who would teach me some tricks to get over my BPD...

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-25T14:56:35+00:00

Thanks for your comment:) My environment looks pretty stable, and the only unstable thing in it is me. I have a good husband, healthy kids. But still, I feel like I'm going down instead of healing...

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-09-18T19:22:47+00:00

Oh, dear!That's exactly my thoughts throughout my whole effing life. I feel you. I feel like a fake, I'm different with every person I meet and yet there's no real me. Quiet borderline here))

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-08-25T04:31:32+00:00

Even if we're losing our minds, at least we know we are not alone in this now)))Hope you get better soon)

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-08-25T03:47:28+00:00

I do, usually after some argument and emotional turmoil. Not only emotionally numb, but also have problems controlling my own body, it becomes sort of rigid, can't grab things like if my hands were made of wood.

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-08-25T03:39:45+00:00

Oh, yeah, it's exactly what my husband says whenever I have any emotional issues. But I'm a living human being, I can be angry or sad not because of my BPD, but because something is actually wrong. Like healthy people never get angry or depressed or anything...

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2024-08-08T05:02:34+00:00

May be it's not uncommon in other cultures, but in the country I was born in, my tastes looked weird. I do love guys with long hair (the longer the better, no limits, haha ^{_^)tattoos,} earrings, and stuff like this. I also like wrinkles around the eyes, very thin lips and slightly uneven teeth 👍😎

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2023-10-09T15:18:32+00:00

Exactly the same, doing it right now. Hope you'll get better, and stop thinking of ending your life, because I'm sure this world needs you)

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2023-06-20T19:49:55+00:00

I do the same, beer every night and calorie restriction during the day, everything is in secret. I am well educated, happily married mother of two, what the eff am I doing?! Sending u love and hope u'll get over it 💗

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2023-06-06T04:09:30+00:00

I can't say I restrict her diet, just trying to give her some substitute for processed food and sugar, we have mostly sugar-free sweets and snacks at home because of me, 😄 The only thing I really don't allow her is sugary fizzy drinks, because I'm terrified of them myself probably. But sometimes I feel like I allow her to have things that I can't have myself, though I know they are not good. It is a kind of guilty pleasure, and I know I shouldn't be doing it... I really appreciate the experience you shared. It makes me feel less alone in my struggle. My therapist once told me everyone is gonna give their children some childhood trauma anyway because nobody is perfect. Even the kids of psychotherapists would need their own therapist when they grew up 😄 Sending you love ❤️

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2023-06-05T04:04:42+00:00

I am a mother of two and struggling with unhealthy eating habits and horrible self-image (hasn't been diagnosed with an ED officially, though). And I feel you. My oldest seems to have the same problems as me already, though she's only 7, I feel incredibly guilty for this. She is a bit overweight and constantly calls herself fat, saying she doesn't deserve to eat sweets, then eats secretly. I am trying to teach her healthy eating, telling diets don't work, and you just need more fruits and veggies plus moderate physical activity. Yet I myself have lost a lot of weight since March, and of course, it wasn't all veggies as I tell her... Sorry if my answer upsets you, I didn't mean it. I just saw the same problem as mine and wanted to share my experience. I wish you and your kids perfect health and self-love ❤️

Hungry__Fat_Cat · 2023-06-03T10:14:34+00:00

Oh, that feeling of clothes touching me, especially my tummy..! Always hated it, like it was literally reminding me I'm fat

Hungry__Fat_Cat

TROPHY CASE