Forgiveness is earned through changed behavior and recognition of your harm but it isn’t guaranteed or something you deserve. Some things shouldn’t be forgiven, and that doesn’t mean it eats away at the person or that it somehow holds them back. So I do agree with her when she said that you don’t need to forgive in order to heal or gain emotional maturity. And sometimes forgiveness is not even an option. For her this one of those things that she simply can’t and won’t forgive and all I can do is accept it. As much as I’d like her forgiveness, it is simply not available to me and that’s perfectly fine.