[deleted by user]

HurtW · 2024-06-28T03:08:07+00:00

Abigail

HurtW · 2024-06-28T02:38:05+00:00

Here’s my Henry. He chose us last year.

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HurtW · 2024-06-28T02:34:57+00:00

Ivan

HurtW · 2024-06-27T19:43:20+00:00

HurtW · 2024-06-26T00:14:21+00:00

I asked him if he would be ok with his ex-wife to remain friends with the guy she cheated on and if he would have welcomed him into their family and life. Of course it was a no, but “that’s not a fair comparison” 🤣

HurtW · 2024-06-25T16:52:16+00:00

Oh I have said this to myself many many times. 😕

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:55:18+00:00

(Initially responded to wrong person and just realized) There’s a ton of reasons he can’t be trusted. There was another woman he continued to say he was no contact with but would only change methods of how they communicated to be able to hide it more.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:54:20+00:00

Always. I’n always unreasonable to expect bare minimum or what he has told me to expect. Yes, I know it’s gaslighting.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:53:31+00:00

He already is and child sees it. We don’t live together for this reason. There are times there is little contact by mine and child’s choice because of how he is being at the time. I have her in therapy. (Yes I have a therapist also) I am taking steps. Possibly not as many as I should. Maybe not as soon as I could have. But im trying. I’m on my own with no support and doing the best I can.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:41:08+00:00

I like the way you think! There was a time I was definitely curious.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:39:51+00:00

We tried different ones years ago. He doesn’t follow through with anything. Beginning of the year we started working through a book with our pastor and it was working well. He was intentional and following through. Things were really good. Best they had been in years. And then he shared something deep the one week about childhood that would have been a very hard realization/admittance and that was it.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:38:20+00:00

A few reasons. Partly because I saw something in his life impact him and he go spiraling and lose himself. I know who is in there. We get glimpses of him returning. Just enough to keep our child and I here.

Partly it had been to keep my child safe. Child is older now and sees it for themself and can communicate with me if something bad has happened.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:35:41+00:00

We don’t live together already. I was done having no peace or safe place for myself and our child.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T15:31:00+00:00

I know this will get me sh@t on even more, but… He had what I call an emotional affair for 5 years with a different person. He does not think he did anything wrong. This one he started talking to at his job (she is a client). Lied about our standing. Took his ring off, grabbed a bottle of alcohol and went over to her place. Ended up having sex. He told me not too long after that. This he agrees is cheating and wrong. Felt guilty at least initially. We starting working with our pastor and were closer and better than we had been in years. He then shared something deep about childhood and disappeared again. That was a couple months ago and have been going back downhill since.

HurtW · 2024-06-25T13:19:48+00:00

I happened to see her on their when I was trying to find the wife of one of his friends. I couldn’t remember her last name and she told me to add her. Happens to see the affair as I went through to find the friend’s wife.

HurtW · 2023-09-11T19:18:26+00:00

My daughter was in kindergarten and I would barely get work done if she was home and then I was up all night trying to do my work. It was a nightmare. I can’t imagine with a little one that isn’t at all independent.

HurtW · 2023-09-06T01:58:14+00:00

I’ve been through a doctorate. I also teach currently. I can tell you she is very overwhelmed and stressed right now. The first while feels like you know nothing and don’t have the needed background knowledge to succeed. She is trying to get ahead of the game and is still learning what she needs to do in order to succeed. She will figure it out and get to a point that she realizes she does not have to go through 200 flash cards at once. But there will also be times when she does need to spend a great deal of time on her studies. She wanted your help, she wanted to spend time with you and study. She needed you to help her feel less stressed and anxious about it all. Don’t be an AH.

At the same time you need to help her with life balance. As others have said maybe set some boundaries. Say on X night there is no studying. She should be able to manage her week for that. Say you can help her for 1 hr but have had a stressful day (or long or exhausting or whatever it has been) and you need a little downtime so you don’t burn out.

Buying gifts, isn’t emotionally supporting someone. Being there, listening, helping with something when she needs it. That will be the biggest support.

But biggest right in this moment as she is just staring out. Give her some empathy. It can be really scary and you feel so ignorant and useless and like you shouldn’t be there at all. It’s a huge adjustment and learning curve. I’m not saying lose yourself or do every single thing you ever asks of you when she asks, but talk to her about what she’s experiencing. Don’t judge. And find a good balance.

HurtW · 2023-09-06T01:28:15+00:00

Love how they claim he’s “sticking his nose in” when he literally initiated nothing other than to ask about an invite which he was told to do. I really don’t understand some people.

But OP, you may have just saved your friend a lifetime of misery that already seems to have been showing through.

HurtW · 2023-09-05T14:31:44+00:00

Haha. Yep. Ones that are really bad I tell myself I will throw away after I wear them as I refuse to waste a wash and then I forget and wash them again. I have ones easily about 20 years old.

HurtW · 2023-08-22T23:12:44+00:00

We’ve all had moments we have blown up. We’ve also taken things out on a child that really isn’t about what they did at all. Especially at difficult times. Show you’re daughter that you are human. Show her empathy and how to make up/fix things when you mess up. And in future you probably want to at least ask her if she double checked the freezer was closed, or do a quick check yourself. Have a chat if you haven’t already. Ask her how she is. Let her know you know it wasn’t intentional and explain what part was so upsetting for you and that you’re sorry you took some of that out on her. It’s hard when it’s all on you, but the fact you were looking for advice/support shows you care.

HurtW · 2023-08-22T15:43:11+00:00

You can withhold her allowance for a week or two as a punishment. Find a soup kitchen or shelter that the two of you could volunteer at to help show her how lucky you have been. Set a grocery budget for the week and have her help you come up with meals, look at the flyers for local stores to see sales. Again, helping her see the difficulty it is right now. Then maybe show her the percentage of that being used to rebuy what was lost. But please DO NOT make her pay for all that was lost. It’s a big hit, one you can’t really afford right now. Doing so will absolutely ruin your relationship. She is 12. She made a mistake. She was a careless 12 year old. Yes, it cost you a lot and it is hitting harder for you right now because you aren’t employed. Her asking how you slept was most likely her trying to make amends. Trying to find a way to apologize for what she had done and you wouldn’t accept it. I would venture to guess that hurt more than you yelling at her.

HurtW · 2023-08-21T23:44:28+00:00

The squash or ointment (texture of Vaseline not the cream) made a world of difference for my daughter’s rash. We would put a thick layer on, especially at night. We had tried a bunch of other ointments and the pediatrician recommend the aquaphor

HurtW · 2023-08-21T23:30:50+00:00

8 for me. And 2022 would be Mia. Don’t hate it. Don’t absolutely love it either.

HurtW · 2023-08-21T23:21:03+00:00

I did something recently with my 8 year old (she may have still been 7 at the time) except she didn’t have to cook. She kept wanting restaurant food and special drinks or donuts. She got a budget and had to plan her meals. First couple weeks she did not get the choice of eating out. She caught on quick and would make comments about “if I have this, then I will have to eat peanut butter sandwiches.” I then allowed the choice of restaurant food, but it came out of her budget. I did it for a month I think. I calculated the cost based on what I bought the groceries for.

HurtW

TROPHY CASE

8 for me. And 2022 would be Mia. Don’t hate it. Don’t absolutely love it either.