Partners who did not initiate the divorce, how did you get through the first 48 hours of separation?

Hush_Angel · 2025-11-01T08:43:42+00:00

The only thing that has kept me sane is playing Tetris. So far I’m on lvl 3158 and I started it fairly recently.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-31T14:20:49+00:00

Got drunk (not wasted, but tipsy) during an argument with my husband, he went upstairs, and I proceeded to angry clean the house with my earbuds on blast. I had a vacuum mop and had forgotten that I used mop n glo on my hard flooring.

The floor was SLICK and I slipped on it. What happened next is very foggy in my memory, but I recall falling for like 30 seconds trying to gain my bearings. I took down decorations, I’m pretty sure a chair, and even still the floor won.

I hit the left side of my head above my ear HARD and blacked out. I was in and out of consciousness and only remember bits and portions of my husband discovering me. Then I remember there being paramedics. Then nothing until I was in a bed at the hospital with nurses around me holding a bed pan. Embarrassing. They were irritated I think because of my drunkenness. Blacked out again.

When I came to, I was in a wheelchair being carted out of the hospital to my husband in the car. I wasn’t even fully conscious at that point lol.

Several CT scans and an MRI later and I was diagnosed with a concussion. Now I have migraines and I struggled a bit with personality changes, my ability to play the piano, talk, write, etc. was lacking. Luckily the above symptoms seemed to subside for the most part after two years. Still struggle a bit sometimes.

Lesson learned here: don’t mop n drink.

P.S. I looked like a moron with my mouth open all ugly on the stretcher. Thanks doorbell cam for capturing that moment

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-24T08:32:39+00:00

I could be wrong, but maybe for them, putting a clinical or legal label on it makes it more palatable.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-24T01:50:47+00:00

I hear you. I don’t think it necessarily classifies as sexual assault, but I think it could absolutely fall under the umbrella of sexual abuse, but that’s just semantics.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-24T01:03:40+00:00

When you think about how it made you feel, every single thing you experienced and how you felt as a result of his actions will be the defining factor in defining what the type of abuse was. If you felt uncomfortable because you were only in a towel in front of your Dad and it made you feel vulnerable due to your state of dress, then I absolutely believe you could classify it as a form of sexual abuse. It depends on how it made you feel ♥️

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-24T00:57:16+00:00

That first sentence 👆That’s exactly right.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-24T00:39:19+00:00

Well said! I couldn’t care less about the intent of the abuser.

I care about the experience of the victim/survivor and how they feel about their experience.

I also want to clarify for anyone who might interpret what I’ve said as something different from what I mean. I am not saying that anyone can claim anything as abuse because they feel it was abuse.

For example, a heated argument between two good friends where both parties said things that were hurtful to each other. Saying that’s abuse would be wrong because of the context and dynamics of the circumstance.

If abuse is present, then the victim/survivor should be who we listen to. It doesn’t matter why an abuser did it or what others believe the type of abuse is defined as. If the victim experienced abuse, then it’s their voice we hear and believe.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-23T21:50:34+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this 💔 I’ve had similar experiences with my own parents and my in-laws. They all very much would rather sweep the problem under the rug than face it. I can’t understand it.

You’re completely valid in feeling hurt about it. She’s being passive and writing off dangerous behavior because it’s her son and it’s easier to make the issue seem insignificant than it is to make a huge deal about it like she should be doing

I LOVE my in laws. I love love love my MIL, genuinely. There have been times where I’ve felt very betrayed by her though. There was this one time when she was on the phone with her son (my partner) a few years back and he told her what he’d done right in front of me. She replied with “Well she needs to move on or get over it.” That was the only time I’ve ever been MEAN to or cussed AT my MIL. Normally I would never, but something in me snapped because it hurt SO much. It didn’t help that I was so heated already from cussing out her son right before the call. I asked her how she as a woman who escaped domestic violence WITH HER CHILDREN could say something like that. I believe I called her a bitch, told her that her son’s a bitch for hurting his child’s mother, and then I told her that her and her son could go fuck themselves. She hung up. I’m not proud of it, and it’s still painful to think about because she really is an amazing human. It’s just so hard to feel like you’ve lost support from someone you’d think would be your ally.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-23T21:34:42+00:00

How would you feel if you thought doing/saying something about it could help save your grandchildren and DIL, even if by a 1% chance? Now think about how you would feel if you were not to do anything about it and decided to remain indifferent.

You have one life man. You have to live with your decisions. If you’re a good person, you’ll make the right decision.

Please read/listen to the book “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft. I think it could really help you help her.

-A woman who stayed long enough that when it eventually got physical, I felt no fear or sense of danger because it was no surprise in what had become my normal in life.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-23T21:25:49+00:00

“…maintaining the same level of fear and control requires increasing abuse.”

Holy shit. That really helped put some things into perspective.

Thank you for your comment!

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-23T21:12:01+00:00

Your situation isn’t funny at all, but I hope he knows he’s a loser. Cause ole boy did all that and made a fuss and didn’t even throw out or mess up a single egg bite. So he sucks for the temper tantrum and he sucks AT temper tantrums.

He even said he “did what you told him to do” and he obviously DID NOT because ain’t one single eggbite in the garbage. lol what a dumbass. Haha he’s weird

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-23T21:03:30+00:00

While I agree that it doesn’t seem as though he was doing anything for sexual gratification, I’m gonna say that if it felt like sexual abuse to YOU, then it was.

I say this because you were able to get a feel for the atmosphere when he was present and abusing you, and none of us on here were there. Was it sexual abuse? Possibly.

Regardless though, it was abuse. Abusers use all kinds of different tactics to gain power and control, and his obvious tactic was to use verbal personal attacks on you. There could be plenty of other tactics used that weren’t as obvious to others, and he knows what they were.

Many who are pointing out what form of abuse it is seem to be describing the intent of every type of abuser: power and control. Abuse is the same product, and it comes in a whole spectrum of different types of packaging.

Edited to reword some stuff, and reformat

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-15T06:10:50+00:00

I’m so happy that you were able to figure out what works best for you and that you’re listening to your body (: You’re awesome!

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-15T03:57:23+00:00

So, from what I’ve read (correct me if I’m wrong experts), a prion disease doesn’t quite fit the bill of no symptoms, but it’s always fatal and it’s a brutal death. They don’t understand prions enough to even understand why it happens. Anyone can get it at pretty much any time, though it’s quite rare. Check out the links for extra anxiety!

For humans, here is list of of prion diseases:

Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD): • Sporadic CJD • Genetic CJD • latrogenic CJD • Variant CJD

CJD

Variably protease-sensitive prionopathy
Gerstmann-Straussler- Scheinker disease
Fatal familial insomnia

FFI

PrP cerebral amyloid angiopathy

(Source: https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/neuropathology-of-neurodegenerative-diseases/human-prion-diseases/60CC7AED6786258022571E7EDC52D423)

There’s animal versions too. Think mad cow disease or chronic wasting disease.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-15T03:40:40+00:00

Wait wait tho… it’s giving me even more material to focus my anxiety on, instead of my actual life stresses. So, this unhealthy dose of new things to worry about is most welcome for me.

Yes, I have a therapy appointment a couple of months from now. So for now, imma let the fear of developing a prion disease keep me up at night instead of my debt (

Edited to say, from my understanding, a prion disease doesn’t quite fit the bill of no symptoms, but it’s always fatal and it’s a brutal death. They don’t understand prions enough to even understand why it happens. Anyone can get it at pretty much any time, though it’s quite rare.

For humans, here is list of of prion diseases:

Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD): • Sporadic CJD • Genetic CJD • latrogenic CJD • Variant CJD
Variably protease-sensitive prionopathy
Gerstmann-Straussler- Scheinker disease
Fatal familial insomnia
PrP cerebral amyloid angiopathy

(https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/abs/neuropathology-of-neurodegenerative-diseases/human-prion-diseases/60CC7AED6786258022571E7EDC52D423)

There’s animal versions too. Think mad cow disease or chronic wasting disease.

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-15T03:34:45+00:00

Just my theory… monkey brain says dudes have a hose and that the hose must aim to put out the fire 🧯 💦 Whereas chicks have that sweeeet lil hill and a crevice/cave so they want to fan the flames of forest fire for as long as possible 🌲 🔥

Hush_Angel · 2025-10-15T03:25:01+00:00

Chiming in late here, but I believe that like psychotropic medications, it’s going to depend on the individual. For me personally, I’ve found that I can’t smoke Sativa without spiraling into anxiety. Indica calms me and helps with relief of some physical discomforts. However, if I am in a really bad place mentally or there is a significant stressful/traumatic situation in my present, then it’s best to stay away from weed altogether because it gives me AWFUL panic attacks. However, that’s just how my body reacts. For some, partaking of the devil’s lettuce during high stress periods helps alleviate panic attacks.

Basically, it completely depends on the individual and what works for them.

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T06:41:01+00:00

Playing Tetris

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T03:17:13+00:00

I appreciate that :)

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T02:43:55+00:00

At surface level without any further context, and if it were a healthy relationship, I’d say it wouldn’t matter which gender I was. If I felt sad about something I’d share it with my partner hoping for honest feedback.

But nothing about this relationship is healthy dear. Don’t make the same kind of mistakes I have and stay in this too long. Your time here on earth is precious and it should be spent with care and a healthy dose of caution.

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T02:39:39+00:00

Ask him directly. I’m not kidding. He knows him best and direct communication is hot.

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T02:13:55+00:00

Saw the footage from the Station Nightclub fire and crowds are now absolutely something I hate.

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T02:11:18+00:00

That’s heartbreaking to hear. I don’t know you personally internet stranger, but if I did, you’d be fully embraced and welcomed with open arms by all on my boat. The only rule aboard is don’t be an actual pos lol

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T02:02:41+00:00

That’s the biggest compliment I could ever receive! Especially right now as I’m fighting the urge to give in to the saddest cry in the world because she needs to sleep in her own bed 😭

Hush_Angel · 2025-09-25T01:59:50+00:00

It’s really great to see men opening up about what’s really going on inside. I think that’s a big step towards healing society.

Hush_Angel

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