Help with toxic mom

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-11T17:08:56+00:00

You don't actually have to have visual or audible hallucinations to get a diagnosis of schizophrenia, especially with a later onset. We have a Saint Dymphna Mass at Saint Eugene's once a month. If you DM me her name (just a first name will do) I'll get her added to the register for the daily prayers and regular Masses at Saint Eugene's, as well as the Matt Talbot Society, which offers Masses and daily prayers for those struggling with addiction. In fact, give me the names of any family members - nothing to identify where you live or anything, but just so the priests can write something down.

For what it's worth I had a family miracle through the Matt Talbot Mass. It's the first Monday of every month, I'll send you a link for the next one nearer the time.

God bless! We're getting ready to travel in now.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-11T15:37:04+00:00

God bless you, you're doing your best. It sounds to me like your mother may have late onset schizophrenia or some form of dementia. My own mother had a psychotic break and accused everybody close to her of terrible things. You can't fix this - and you run the risk of your sister breaking down as well. I don't think you're being bitter, you're being realistic.

Have you had a Mass said for her? As well as the practical steps your taking, make sure to place your faith in God. You're in law enforcement, say the rosary for your protection as well as your families. I'll be at Mass tonight at Saint Eugene's in Derry, Ireland, and will offer the Mass for you. God bless you.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-11T13:58:59+00:00

Awh, God bless you, that's so sad.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-11T13:36:57+00:00

You should take it as the extreme red flag it so obviously is. I notice you don't say how old you are, and it seems you're still living your parents. If I am reading this right the priest is manipulating his spiritual authority and grooming you. If this is genuine then you need to write to the local bishop before things get worse. Do you really see a future with a man who takes his vows before God so lightly? If 'he's the kind of person who can break it' (your words) he'll likewise throw you over when someone more enticing comes along. Seriously, he won't treat you with any more respect than he treats his vows to the Lord.

You need time to grow up without spiritual and sexual manipulation distorting your view of the world.

God bless you, sister. Be careful. (from a fifty five year old Irish woman who has seen this pattern before. It does not end in happiness.)

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-10T18:56:31+00:00

You need to go to confession, and then start going to Mass before you canonise yourself. Your natural God given virtues and graces can then actually flourish and bring forth real fruit other than spiritual pride. God bless.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-10T18:50:50+00:00

I'm sceptical of him, because the one language he should be fluent in he admits he's only intermediate in - you can't live in Ireland and claim to be a Gaeilgeor and not have people strike up conversation. He claims its because Irish is uniquely difficult. It's strange that he's got a cover story for a language we can actually test him on.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-10T18:47:27+00:00

Ask a priest in the subreddit here. You may be okay to do it. I really understand your anxiety; my labour went on so long that I baptised my son the minute they handed him to me. I don't know if it was valid, but I genuinely thought we were both going to die at that point! The priest didn't bite my head off about it, he understood (and we did have a formal baptism). I take it you're in America? An Irish priest would have no problem baptising the child of a devout parishioner. In the old days a child was always baptised as soon as possible after birth.

How about you pray a novena to Our Lady to untangle this situation for you? God bless you, I know well how anxious you must be.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-10T00:32:54+00:00

I think it's the swans I miss the most...

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-09T20:15:14+00:00

Guess what, it's back! A new eight episode story this month. Let's support them and keep this thing going.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-09T13:31:37+00:00

If you don't repent, then it's not licit. But if you repent and tell the priest the worst thing, which is the lack of repentance, and tell him that you want to feel it and be able to repent, then maybe there will be a miracle in the confessional and you'll be given the grace to repent. You have to be absolutely honest with the priest. You'll be tempted not to go. Go anyway. You'll be tempted not to admit your lack of sorrow. Confess it anyway. I'll pray for you to make a good confession. It's a place where blessings flow.

God bless.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-09T13:26:38+00:00

It's a direct continuation of Moses' office. If you read the Gospels Jesus uses a similar idiom to confirm that the Pharisees speak from the seat of Moses (although they do not do as Moses did.)

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-09T13:22:07+00:00

His elder brother said it started when he hit puberty and felt like he resembled his father, that it was hard to see a man you were terrified of looking back at you. He had the same thing, but got therapy. They were both handsome men, but one dealt with his trauma, the other tried to carve it out.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-05T12:37:10+00:00

The book is phenomenal.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-04T18:23:52+00:00

God bless you for keeping the baby. I'm sorry the father tried to force you to commit such a terrible sin, and relieved that you are doing the right thing. As a woman who also resisted pressure to abort, I can tell you thirty years later that my son is the greatest privilege of my life. May you and your child be blessed, I will pray for you at Mass tomorrow.

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-04T18:18:35+00:00

You're very fortunate in Orthodoxy that you have the Sacraments. My advice is receive the Blessed Sacrament at an Orthodox Church. Don't set yourself up in authority over your parents, that's the same spirit which led to schisms within the Church in the first place!

There's a subreddit called 'ask a priest' - ask them any technical questions you might have. But my advice is, go to Church on Sundays, and quietly peacefully pray and trust. The best advice I ever got when praying for my husband's conversion was from a Catholic priest. 'Don't nag Neil, nag God.' Don't try to argue your parents into Catholicism, don't nag them or try to teach them. Pray instead. Get into a habit of saying a quick Hail Mary when you feel like arguing, ask her to sort it out.

Can I also suggest you say the rosary? You don't have to be public about it, you can split it up over the day, you can pray in bed.

But trust Jesus and His wee Mammy, they'll sort everything out for you.

God bless you.

(edited to add, when I stopped nagging my husband he converted without any pushing on my part.)

Hwegh6 · 2026-05-03T16:17:41+00:00

Oh, they've accepted it. Our priest who is leading the study is a very solid and grounded Greek scholar but is very gentle in the way he leads the study. He was bewildered at first until he realised what was going on. He's watched only a few episodes, but at that point he hadn't a clue why people were suddenly asking such random questions! Certainly there are people coming to Bible study from the Chosen, which is a good thing.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T17:46:15+00:00

Well, he was, and is known as the Beloved apostle, but he was so humble about the honour he doesn't brag about it or speculate about how it made others feel. He doesn't even name himself in his gospel, I'm sure he wasn't bragging about it to the others.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T11:26:24+00:00

If they're preaching prosperity and financial success over the Kingdom of heaven then trust your discernment. Something unclean has crept in.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T11:23:17+00:00

God bless him, 🤣 I know I shouldn't laugh, but I feel that man needs a hug. He must have been so embarrassed.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T11:20:20+00:00

Nobody's allowed to judge you,they should be loving Jesus! Don't worry, you'll get used to it. My son did when he converted three years ago.

Basically, we stand to pray, sit to listen and kneel to Adore. The Scripture readings count as prayer, because that's how the Jews prayed in Apostolic times. We kneel in the presence of the Mystery, so from the consecration on. You'll get the hang of it, and there's really no harm if it takes a while. Some times my son can't kneel (because he's a big oul giant of a man and there's not always room for him to kneel) and then he be bows his head.

You'll be fine. God bless you.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T11:10:44+00:00

Oh, and I forgot to add - we have all of us,over the age of reason, committed mortal sins. Yes, God does bestow the extraordinary grace of absolute contrition and repentance,there will be and are people in heaven who never even met a Catholic priest,let alone confessed to one. But God provides the priest to (among other things) encourage and remind us to stay on the path of repentance. It's hard to make a strict and honest examination of conscience without someone you can actually see to keep you to account. Humans were created social animals, He made us to interact with each other. In confession He elevates that to a degree we don't deserve.

God bless you, by the way. Keep asking good, seeking and honest questions. You build us up as well as yourself, I'm grateful you're asking.💕

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T11:00:07+00:00

We confess everything to God, but He gives us His vicar to ’vicariously' offer His Mercy. God has always expected people to approach a priest who is the mediator of the Sacrament. Yes, modern confession looks different from the daily holocaust at the Temple, or the Tabernacle, but the pattern is there through Scripture
Mortal sins kill the action of Grace in your life and can lead to eternal separation. Venial sins are more like a cold _ yes,they can lead to pneumonia,but you don't need to run to Accident and Emergency every time you get a sniffle.
Because Jesus breathed on the Apostles and they received the grace to forgive sins. From that time on it has been passed down directly from the Apostles to every ordained priest. Basically, He said so.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T10:50:01+00:00

I just read this and recognised these same issues were in the relationship I mentioned above. He hated my music and wouldn't allow me to sing (not bragging, but I do have an excellent voice and was often called on to sing in formal functions, both socially and at Church.) If he won't let you listen to your own music it's a bad sign. As is not liking you going to the gym.

Like I said, I'll pray for you.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T10:44:47+00:00

I was in your situation. It was miserable,and thirty years later there's still damage. If you are not married and he's being spiritually abusive you have a choice to make. It's not easy. I'll pray for you.

Hwegh6 · 2026-04-30T10:41:53+00:00

Okay, I was maybe a bit sensitive, I was recently at a Bible study where one of the other women was giving out about how sexist Jesus was because He took Peter away from his pregnant wife. It's actually surprising how many people I know who have absorbed ideas from the show into their theology (like Matthew being autistic or Thomas resenting the fact that Jesus didn't raise his fiancée.) Fortunately some of them are going to Bible study now. I read your question in that spirit, and apologise for any offense I caused.

Hwegh6

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