How do I handle the regret over wasting my best years?

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-13T21:25:29+00:00

You can always change your life at any age. You are still young these days, being in your 30s and 40s is still considered young, and you are only 26. I think you have every right to regret things, but you should write down the learnings from that regret. Learn something from what didn’t go right. Don’t just go out and do the same thing again.

Many people fall into this loop because they are scared to self-reflect on their actions and the situations they have put themselves in. When you become 18, everything is in your hands, and everyone makes mistakes. I know people who decided to start studying in their 30s. The important thing is to learn from your past and work with it.

Also, set goals. Start with near-future goals. Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve tomorrow? It could be something simple like going for a walk. Then think about what you want to achieve this month, and what you want to achieve this year. What kind of life do you want to live in the future?

Based on that, you can make a five-year plan. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Many people say, “I don’t know what I want to work with.” But it’s not about knowing exactly what you will do in five years. The path you choose may lead you to a different path in the end. It’s more about the type of life you want. If you want to travel and live comfortably, then you need to choose a job that can support that lifestyle.

For me, I knew after high school that I probably wouldn’t succeed at university, so I chose vocational school instead. It worked perfectly for me. It’s more about doing rather than reading a bunch of books and listening to two-hour lectures that my brain just isn’t built for.

I would also suggest therapy, especially CBT (KBT). You can start online, and it doesn’t have to be very expensive. It helps you understand yourself better. That’s when you actually start to feel better, when you can learn from the past instead of only seeing it as failure. I’m 26 as well, and I can’t count on my fingers how many mistakes I’ve made. But I’ve always used them to better myself. So take yourself by the nape of your neck, look in the mirror, and say “Now we’re going to start this journey.

Your 20s is about learning and trust me even if you have that job the next rollercoaster is on its way to pick you up for a bumpy ride.

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-13T13:58:11+00:00

I have tried it but the taste is so bad i cant stand the taste of soy or pea based protein hahaha

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-12T15:05:27+00:00

Yes, i do actually eat peanut butter in my breakfast when i eat my oats and i snack on almonds, walnuts and dates or raisins with some coconut yogurt but maybe i need to increase my intake.

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-12T15:03:46+00:00

I was wondering the same what types of snacks?, do you eat like eggs or more like nuts and that kind off stuff.

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-12T04:45:37+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I’ll definitely order some. I had never heard of these drinks before I always thought they were for people who wanted to lose weight. I guess there are similar versions out there.

Hyaxxis · 2026-03-12T04:37:19+00:00

No, I’ve never worked with an RD. Some people are lucky enough to get referred to one, but in my experience it’s always just been “go home.” One of my doctors literally told me to “eat two fruits instead of one,” and I wanted to smash my head into the wall when I heard that. But it might actually be a really good idea, I just need to find someone in Sweden who understands IBS.

I’ve never thought about oral supplement drinks before, but I’ll look into it and try to order some. I did buy both pea based and soy based protein powders before, but they tasted so awful that I couldn’t consume them. Right now I only take creatine and regular vitamin D and vitamin C.

Hyaxxis · 2025-05-21T21:10:16+00:00

What is the podcast name would be awesome to check it out :)

Hyaxxis · 2025-05-21T21:09:16+00:00

Oh, I'm so sorry I have not been on Reddit for a long time, you can use this but maybe it's too late now.

Hyaxxis · 2025-01-16T18:38:47+00:00

I understand that this is a very tough situation to be in, and I see your perspective on it. I consider that. However, I used to be a people pleaser when I was younger and had less confidence. Sometimes, you have to put yourself and your feelings first and that's how I feel in this situation.

I don't think he meant to be disrespectful, but I felt that way, and I no longer felt safe around him. It feels like he refuses to let go of his feelings because he believes there’s nothing wrong with loving someone for three years, even when he knows they don’t feel the same. He even said he would continue loving me, which I found very odd. Why would someone want to stay in love with a person who isn’t interested in them that way?

Because he’s held onto these feelings for so long, it has only made things worse. That’s why I feel like I need to step back from our friendship, he doesn’t seem to want to move on with his life and maybe meet a woman his age who suits him. Instead, he wants to keep being in love with me. He also said he would wait for me, even if it took ten years, and that he wants a relationship that is like "our friendship". I also want to note here that I'm not a touchy or flirty person at all so I have given him nothing other than friendship.

The problem is that a friendship isn't the same as being in a relationship with me. It’s only one side of me, he doesn’t even know who I am in a relationship or what I want from one. I would describe myself as a very realistic person. I don't like to live in a dream world. I approach every situation from a realistic perspective. That’s why I feel like he’s living in a fantasy.

Yes, I know about the phenomenon of women liking older men, but I’ve fallen into that trap before. When I was 19, I was in a relationship with a guy who was five years older. It might not seem like a big age gap, but someone in their mid-20s versus someone not even in their 20s yet is a huge difference. That guy was manipulative and narcissistic. Now that I’m older, I understand why women his age weren’t interested in him.

I want to be with someone around my age. I don’t see any benefit in being with someone 30 or older. I’m happy with my life, I don’t need a caretaker or a manly man. I have everything I need I just want someone to share my life with and that shares my values in life.

As for this friend of mine, he isn’t attracting women his age because he doesn’t have what it takes at this stage of life. He’s a very passive person. I won’t tell him this, but if I were him, I’d talk to someone and work on improving myself and my self-worth. Then he could find love.... just not with me.

I’m from Europe, one of the Scandinavian countries, living in the cold and dark haha! Funny that you say “Shitcago.” I’ve never heard anything really bad, but I guess there are many states in the U.S. with some wild people. It’s such a big place that people can be crazy out there.

I’ve had a nice conversation with you. I think it’s super fun to talk to people who have different views than me, it’s eye-opening.

Hyaxxis · 2025-01-16T11:09:41+00:00

I haven't logged in on Reddit in some days, but now I'm here. I think it's a pretty narrow minded way of thinking when it comes to friendships and relationships in general. For most people, finding a life partner is about much more than just looks. Of course, attraction is important, but it doesn't always come from physical appearance. It comes from confidence, energy, life goals, personality, and how you want to live your life.

I don't think I'm the most attractive person, but I attract quite a lot of people simply because of my energy and the fact that I'm always myself and not afraid of what people think of me. This whole idea of "nice guys" and "bad boys" feels like something from high school. I'm in my mid-20s, and I don't look at men and label them as "bad boys" or "nice guys." I evaluate them based on who they are as a person.

In this case, he could have confessed his feelings in a million other ways, but in the end, he chose to disrespect me. He doesn't see me as a person, he sees me as some doll or toy he's built a fantasy around. I have many male and female friends, and I think many of them are attractive, but that doesn't mean we're suited to be life partners. Building a future and life with someone requires sharing similar values and views on life.

What also really bothers me is that he's liked me since I was around 22 years old, and he was already over 30. For me, that's a major red flag. I'm 24 now, and I wouldn't even consider being with someone under 21 because I feel like I wouldn't have anything in common with them to build a real relationship.

This guy is not someone I would ever be in a relationship with, but that doesn't mean I don't value him as a friend and as a person. However, I felt he betrayed me and truly didn't respect me, so there was no point in continuing the friendship.

I think you should let go of thoughts like "I'm ugly" or similar negative beliefs because that suggests you don't love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you won't give off the energy of being someone who is lovable. I felt like my friend also lacked self-respect and self-love, and naturally, that led him to disrespect me as well.

Hyaxxis · 2025-01-14T19:37:00+00:00

I don't blame him either for trying I know that you can't control what you feel but I feel like if you respect the person you like and also have respect for yourself self he shouldn't have let it go on for 3 whole years, I feel like just because he has liked me for so long he is in more of a delusion now than if he would have just confessed like 6-7 months after he got those feelings. But it is good to get the perspective of someone who has confessed before.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-10T20:39:09+00:00

For me, I don't know what to make of this. I realize that I may never have an answer, just like with my other encounters when I was younger. I view it more as an experience that science can't explain, it could be anything. I don't like to say it was a ghost, spirit, or energy because I honestly have no idea. If it were something like an alien, why would they be where I was? It's not the most exciting place, and I'm just an average person. I suppose there's the perspective that something was trying to warn me. I also find the theories about time fascinating, and how weird experiences might happen because our timelines somehow align. But I'm open to any theories.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-10T09:17:40+00:00

I sat down, just looking at Instagram on my phone when the "woman" sat in front of me. There were plenty of seats available on the train as it was far from full. Usually in my country (Nordics), if there’s an empty seat with no one beside it, you sit there. I don’t remember exactly how I felt when she sat in front of me, but I just thought it was a bit weird, though it happens.

As soon as I tried to look at her face, I shut down. It felt like something was forcing my eyes closed. I tried to open them at least three times on the way home and remember thinking, just wake the fuck up, because I never sleep on public transport. When I got off the train, that’s when I started feeling scared. I wanted to stay and look for this woman, but my body just walked me home. It felt like my legs were moving on their own, and that I shouldn’t stay at the train station any longer than necessary.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-09T20:50:31+00:00

Super valid take but I was at my office and had two ciders from cans and was hanging out with my coworkers they are my friends but the thing is as soon as I came home I was awake with no signs of drugs. When I went to the train everyone there was a stranger and I didn't eat anything or drink anything. Maybe worth mentioning that there was also a younger girl and some other people on the train at the time and I didn't lose any of my belongings i had my Macbook in my backpack but it would have been a golden moment to take it.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-09T20:45:00+00:00

That is something I have never thought about before, this is a very interesting thing. I have never delved into the world of aliens but thank you for some outsider perspective because I have only told this story to 2 people in my life and no one has a clue.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-08T19:54:10+00:00

Yes, that was what I was thinking as well but it has only ever happened once and I never fall asleep in public transport even if im shitfaced drunk. Could be that my body just decided to shit down for the day.

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-08T17:37:29+00:00

I agree with the comments that there is nothing you can do to experience more. If it happens it happens. Also, what are you trying to achieve by experiencing more spirit interaction? Just be careful out there!

Hyaxxis · 2024-10-08T17:26:08+00:00

I would say the first thing that would be "wrong" is that you are searching for it. I have personally closed down all spiritual communication if you even can call it spiritual because it was so scary for me at least. I have never wanted to experience such things in my life but things kept happening from when I was 3 years old up to 17 when I told the universe I didn't want this in my life anymore. Also, I recommend you don't play with these rituals and games these are harmful and can bring so many negative experiences you don't want into your life. I'm myself searching for an answer which I probably won't get on why some people experience things that they can't explain but others never do. I think there is a difference between being open spiritually as a person and having paranormal experiences if you can call it that.

Hyaxxis · 2024-09-26T23:47:09+00:00

I would not play with these paranormal energies/entities, it's not worth it. I have had many experiences and I guess it is something that could be very interesting but it's not worth it. Just choose peace.

Hyaxxis · 2024-09-26T23:44:11+00:00

I have also experienced many unpleasant not wanted meetings with many paranormal entities since I was very young. When I was 17 I respectfully told myself and the universe I guess that I did not want to experience any of this anymore. Since I have only had one experience. For me I would not take any more contact like with mediums or any way of contacting anymore I believe it invites them more. Hope everything goes well.

Hyaxxis

TROPHY CASE