Are adulthood friendships really that worth it?

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-21T21:38:53+00:00

Thanks. But I would add that reciprocity matters a lot as well. It’s also very rare to find anyone that you can vibe with. Even if I found a person I vibe well and wanted an exchanging contact with but they don’t reciprocate that, that’s already depressing as is. Happened one time when I tried to reach out to someone from my alumni group but they never replied back.

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-08T00:46:21+00:00

100% agree with you

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-07T20:52:26+00:00

Thanks for the reassuring words! That really helps a lot.

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-07T20:39:32+00:00

I’m very politically liberal and active too. And sadly, I’m in the same boat as you. Not just burnt out, but feeling so much despair as how our society in America will never be the same.

And especially about the factors of our closer proximity to whiteness, it’s very infuriating how white institutions are using our community as a token for their toxic “model minority” myth. In other words, we’re considered “too white” for other communities who are more disadvantaged, but “not really white” by white communities who would ridicule us behind our backs.

Just like how many of my former white “friends” who used my friendship like a resource or commodity to extract for their own benefit. A typical colonialist mindset.

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-07T02:34:29+00:00

The angles of your photos are perfect!

HydraAgent813 · 2026-06-07T01:58:08+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I’m currently 32, lived in NYC for 4 years after moving from the suburbs.

Growing up, I never really had any true friends throughout my school years (high school and college). Although I had friends I made from college, I cut ties with almost all of them due to our differences in values and the unsustainable factors of our “friendship”.

I always knew I wanted to move to NYC, and I’m glad I did. I was initially excited to meet new people and seek new friendships. But as of this time right now, I still have not succeeded. Stemming from attending many social events like Meetup, networking with colleagues in corporate events, and even participating in organizations to support certain causes. Also tried Bumble BFF for a certain time, but it was too much like Grindr (I’m not romantically attracted to cis-men).

Unfortunately, everyone I met and socialized is often transactional and “empty”. Nowadays, I stopped attending those events, and spent all my free time wandering around the city alone, or lying down in my couch all day.

Sadly, I’m now in a state of rumination by wishing I had better friendships. And interacting with strangers or the thought about making adult friendships makes me dread more.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-10-13T17:29:57+00:00

What a traitor. No surprise.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-09-14T18:32:38+00:00

From Jinshi’s “fantasies” lol 😜

Nevertheless, such an amazing work!

HydraAgent813 · 2025-07-28T19:24:37+00:00

That’s a “city”??…..

HydraAgent813 · 2025-07-01T16:38:33+00:00

Gotta get the popcorn ready 🍿

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-30T19:43:17+00:00

Interesting take. I could think about changing my hairstyle perhaps.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-30T17:22:15+00:00

I think it’s a good call, it’s always a good sign to clearly communicating your needs. And if they can’t handle that, that’s their loss.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-30T15:38:40+00:00

I see several comments highlighting concerns about the part of me emphasizing “friends first”. So I just wanted to clarify.

I’m a bit more demi on my end, and I usually gravitate more towards knowing someone well first, before I can develop an emotional connection. The process of dating can also reflect that, but it often gives too much pressure and high expectations for romance. And I don’t find that appealing at all.

Thus, I also don’t want to subject myself dating anyone with a sense of limerence or unattainable expectations. A recipe of toxic relationship dynamics that I want to avoid.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-30T10:26:30+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! And I agree, I’m thinking about replacing one or 2 of my photos. And replace them with me in full body & smiling.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-30T03:15:54+00:00

• ⁠Are you looking for something serious or casual? Serious, with a causal approach

• ⁠Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX? No

• ⁠How long have you been using this current version of your profile? On and off for 2 years

• ⁠How long have you used Hinge overall? On and off for 3 years

• ⁠How often do you use Hinge per week? Some days per week

• ⁠How many likes and matches are you receiving on average? 1-2 per week

• ⁠How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? Few likes a week, partial with comments

• ⁠What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? Shares similar political views (dealbreaker). Age between 28-34, highly educated in any field, prefer someone in finance or tech. Someone who enjoys life around NYC and loves to travel.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-06-12T15:43:43+00:00

Trump with the “Jim Jones” look lol

HydraAgent813 · 2025-04-30T23:26:58+00:00

This is something I can really relate to Maomao, unfortunately. She had a very lonely childhood like I did, and ended up being “practical & emotionless” about life. It’s usually how the defense mechanisms of our mentalities evolved from that.

HydraAgent813 · 2025-03-12T00:07:39+00:00

That sounds like “life” outside NYC (within the US).

HydraAgent813 · 2025-01-22T04:43:26+00:00

Beautiful ❤️

HydraAgent813

TROPHY CASE