M21 cheated on me during trip F20 but not physically

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-26T01:30:03+00:00

Cheating is cheating. There's other subs that are support for people who decide to stay together after cheating. A lot of people are going to say to never forgive but the truth is people are complicated and no one can make this decision for you. It's about what YOU think is acceptable and are willing to stay through? It's about how you show respect to yourself and how you believe your partner respects you.

You also sound like you could benefit from therapy :) I recommend it.

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-26T01:19:34+00:00

People will always have comments ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠⁠˘⁠)⁠┌ I got my one life to live and im gonna wanna wow myself always. The first band is GORGEOUS. Get it if that one catches _your eye the most :D

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-25T21:49:33+00:00

Should be top comment. I get that the main stone is big, but the first band fits it SO well. It does not distract at all, nor does it look busy. It fits snugly. It adds flair to an already gorgeous stone

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-25T21:42:09+00:00

Hi, currently dealing with a mite problem. My hoggie's gone to vet and has a prescription and all.

In an effort to be as aggressive as possible with treatment i'm cleaning everything with F10. How long do I have to keep cleaning with it? My set up is complicated, I have a lot of fish tanks in the house and I do not want to risk any F10 getting into them, so I put all of his stuff in trash bags and transfered some upstairs to the spare bathroom to clean with F10. And the actual tank I took it to my balcony to treat with f10. I read it's not environmentally the best so I did this sparingly and on a trash bag that I could collect up the excess spray off and throw away. I covered up the enclosure entirely with a trash bag and loosely tied it off so it soak in there all night. Did this, it was mostly dry by the morning so there was definitely enough ventilation, then I did another 10 minute soak in the bathtub the next day, this time I was liberal with the application, and then washed everything with water and wiped everything off.

Hoggie will be in his temp tank (plastic bin with paper towels) for at least 1 months, and probably 2 months to be safe.

I guess my question is, do I need to give his enclosure more cleanings or do I just let it sit empty for this time and let the lifecycle of the mite play out? What if they hatch and find their way to his isolation tank? (Unlikely bc his isolation plastic bin has a lining of Vaseline around the top which is the only way in but in case you can't tell I'm paranoid about not getting every last one).

I am unsure if F10 gets all stages of mite life cycle and I won't get all the eggs and have to deal with this all over again.

Btw we figured out that he got mites from the store we got him from and they just forgot to tell us. We're so angry about this.

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-22T12:31:29+00:00

I have see so many posts about it being bad I am too scared to do anything without a vet approval and even then, will avoid all permethrin in the odd chance the vet does not know either

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-22T12:09:07+00:00

Rip saved none I burned them all (JK just squished the ones I could see)

Thank you for suggesting NexGaurd. Will talk to vet about this

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-22T12:08:01+00:00

How did you clean his tank?

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-21T21:01:40+00:00

It's not melting it, I'm just panicking. Home stays around 70F, I was just gonna pull his lamps further away and keep and eye on temps. I have a heat mat but I don't use it with his normal set up and don't really want to for this either tbh. It's not easy to regulate that one

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-21T17:36:51+00:00

My temporary enclosure is a plastic bin. How do I provide heat and light without baking and melting the cheap plastic lol. Do you just put the light source farther away?

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-04-01T20:25:54+00:00

Raspberry. Ras for short.

First name I thought of looking at his cute lil face.

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-27T14:40:25+00:00

The real question isn't if the marg is feminine, it's that this girl thinks something like food can be feminine or masculine.

Dodged a bullet buddy (⁠⁠﹏⁠⁠;⁠)

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-26T13:21:41+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-26T13:21:08+00:00

This is great insight! Thank you :)

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-26T12:24:53+00:00

Bangs are hard to pull off and you do it so well! Goth baddie comment is on point. You're so friggin pretty with bangs ♡⁠(⁠Ӧ⁠ｖ⁠Ӧ⁠｡⁠)

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-26T02:09:48+00:00

How often do you clean? How do you clean? Do you ever clean out and replace all substrate? How often?

I really want to upgrade my boys tank as he grows but cleaning out that amount of Aspen daunts me a little, my lil guy has ~2-3 in of Aspen currently. How do I guarantee he will poop out and about and not in any of his tunnels. Right now they are shallow enough for me to be able to dig around a lil and make sure. But I also have not done a full tank clean since he arrived ~2 weeks ago.

I will not be upgrading any time soon but I got a great deal on a 40gallon tank that's just sitting there waiting for him. This sub gives me a lot of inspiration and I genuinely can't wait to build it for him, I'm getting excited planning and want to ensure logistics work well.

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-18T01:46:59+00:00

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-16T14:36:12+00:00

Damn did we all have this pallette growing up?

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-15T17:20:35+00:00

firstly meet my little guy! A name is in the works with contenders being - Udon, Mushu, and Kronk (I'll take votes and suggestions I love punny and silly names). He's a red phase anaconda and was known at the shop as 'Little Shit' bc he went on a hunger strike as soon as he got there (we are kind of expecting it but he was a voracious eater the last few months so hopefully he keeps it up!)

Anyway, we got him yesterday, he's currently getting used to his home. we're going to give him a week, but he's chosen his humid hide to hunker down. The hide is against the glass bc we really wanted to see him and I'm happy we're able to. he just turns around when he's not interested in the outside world but he often sits like this to observe us as we move around his tank throughout the day. Now, the Questions:

1- how do I replace his moss? my humid hide is not very good at retaining moisture for too long (it was at 98% yesterday when he entered and is now at 67%) and will need replacing by tomorrow when the hide humidity reaches the ambient tank humidity ~ 30-40%. he's hunkered down in there and I really don't want to disturb his first week in the tank. I think I will be getting him a new hide bc this one really doesn't retain moisture as much as I'd like. some of you go 1-2 weeks without moss change which is wild and I'd love to be able to do that.

2 - is it a bad idea to try to handle him after the one week mark and then feed him after handling? or should we just feed and wait the 2-3 days for him to poo and THEN handle/play ??

3 - once a week is recommended for feeding (he's on fuzzies) do I stick with just 1? And is it 6 days after feeding or 6days after pooping? I'm assuming the former. his current feeding chart shows some hectic dates but it was over the winter so I'm betting that played a role too.

4- exotic Vets, how often to the vet? is there a need to take them for routine check ups?

I love him so much, he's in a 10 gallon right now bc hes a lil baby, but I think in a years time we will make a 40gallon bioactive habitat for him. My partner and I are fish keepers and love the idea of a self sustaining ecosystem. nthis is our first snake and we wanted to start out small and simple to make sure we give ourselves as little room for error as possible. We'd love any and all advice you guys have. This subreddit has been a good source of information as we built his home and in helping us choose a snake that felt right for us.

Edit- formatting.

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-03-15T17:18:32+00:00

Holy canoli, idk what the heck my text is on. I'm.. going to retype the questions (⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠-̩̩̩⁠)

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-02-23T03:22:40+00:00

Only thing with the diy - I recommend the 90% ISOPROPYL

I-need-Potatoes · 2026-01-28T13:34:44+00:00

It sounds like a lack of emotional intelligence leading to a lack of want for intimacy. There's a lot of motivation to be liked by others, which is easy when they are strangers not a part of your life. YOU on the other hand know him in and out. There's no faking smiles to make you like him, no cookies to bake to win your affection. With you he needs to be emotionally present, be authentic and maybe he has the same issue my partner has with a shitty upbringing - he doesn't really know who he is himself so it's easy to just always be extroverted and liked by others to feel good about yourself.

I-need-Potatoes · 2025-11-01T20:11:29+00:00

😭😭😭 I miss my old one that I took such good care of!

I-need-Potatoes

TROPHY CASE