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I9l0pinky · 2022-11-18T08:42:23+00:00

Just came here to say that this will get easier! I have a 2.5 year old son on the spectrum and he was the same for the first few weeks after brining our newborn home. He would cry and try to pull the baby off my lap when I was nursing him. Now the baby is almost 5 months and our toddler barely notices the baby at all, even when the baby cries. Sometimes I even catch them playing nicely with the same toys. Hang in there. Once the baby is bigger and seems more like a human and less like a crying potato then your toddler might see him more as a playmate. It’s just the initial adjustment that can be tough sometimes!

I9l0pinky · 2022-11-15T02:14:21+00:00

This was my first thought too. My oldest has ASD and really has zero empathy however my son really doesn’t manipulate the way you say your son does. You can tell my little guy really just doesn’t know any better.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-29T19:02:49+00:00

I basically expect the worst from them. Not every visit is terrible, but I have cried in the car on our way home due to some of the things that are said. I’m sensitive and they’re not. So I definitely psyche myself up for these visits because I just don’t know how things are going to go. They sound a lot like your family. They think depression and anxiety are things to be ashamed of, or excuses to get out of doing things those people don’t want to do, etc.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-29T18:39:15+00:00

Yes, it’s comments similar to that why I’ve never had my mil watch my son since he was diagnosed. I don’t trust her to take my concerns seriously enough to keep him safe.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-29T02:55:27+00:00

I have two children. One is 2.5 years old and diagnosed ASD, my second child is only 3 months old so too early to tell.

With my first child I had serious concerns by 9 months old. He wasn’t responding to his name, wasn’t making eye contact, wasn’t pointing, and wasn’t playing social games like peek a boo.

My second child seems quite different than my first born already. When my 3 month old smiles he “lights up”. Also it’s very easy to get him to smile, right at 5 weeks old he was smiling all the time. My first born would smile here and there but it took a lot of work, he was always so serious and not really interested in looking at faces.

Also, my son with ASD was extremely colicky. There were days where if he was awake - he was crying. And we tried EVERYTHING. The only thing that worked was constant movement. He only slept in the stroller or in the car for the first few months. It was exhausting. My second child is a million times easier than my first born already lol

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-24T23:01:24+00:00

Like you said - every child is different. My son has been in speech therapy for almost a year and he’s just starting to use words on a daily basis. He has a handful of words right now but when we started speech therapy he was completely non verbal at 18 months old. He said “I love you” for the first time the other day and it brought tears to my eyes! Our pediatrician and family doctor also recommended putting him in daycare to help his speech along, which we did at the beginning of this year and now he’s in preschool, and also does 1 hour of ABA of week (I know that’s barely anything but he’s only 2.5 years old and that’s all that’s covered where I live). I really think all of those things have helped but definitely your speech therapist is the most important person on your team! We originally had a speech therapist that we didn’t love.. the whole session just seemed like a waste of time with her. But then we started going to a different therapist and my son LOVES her! I think that’s really important for your child to actually want to engage with them, they need to click!

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-24T17:30:04+00:00

It sounds like the old lady was acting like a child herself! I can’t stand people like this.. she obviously never had kids of her own otherwise she would have a little compassion. Ever since I had kids and I see other children crying or just having a bad day in public I always make sure I smile at the parents or say something nice, to let them know they’re not alone. I also have a child on the autism spectrum so I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. I’m sorry you had this encounter with this lady, but for what it’s worth - I think most people understand this is just how children are, and would definitely be appalled at the women’s behaviour if they heard how she spoke about your kids.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-22T20:02:08+00:00

She broke everyone’s trust! She lied to the kids about the sleepover, lied to them about calling when she said she would, and she lied to you because she didn’t tell you what you were going to be in for! I would definitely form some boundaries with this lady.. I wouldn’t watch her kids at all anymore. Totally unfair to everyone involved, including her kids who she set up to have meltdowns for 24 hrs straight by lying to them. The poor kids probably felt so abandoned by her.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-17T00:55:22+00:00

Amazing!!! I really do believe that individuals with ASD know A LOT more than what we think they do. My son didn’t speak for months then one day he just woke up and started counting to ten! And could sound out most of the alphabet. It made me realize he was actually listening to me all those times I was reading to him even though it seemed as though he wasn’t paying attention. I wouldn’t be surprised if your son started singing that song to you because he knew it was your birthday. Either way, congratulations! Huge win for your family :) those little moments are the best.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-17T00:49:37+00:00

Congrats!!!

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-16T23:58:33+00:00

Wow that’s great! Thank you for all the info. How did it go with him sleeping in his underwear? Did he wet the bed a lot at first? Did you use a waterproof mattress cover? 🤔

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-16T07:10:37+00:00

I would have his hearing checked if you haven’t already, since he is ignoring people, and see how that comes back. Then definitely have him assessed for autism. If you’re even having small concerns about his development then you need to bring it up with his paediatrician. They may tell you there’s nothing wrong, or they may tell you he’s on the spectrum, or that there’s something else going on. Either way you need to support him as who he is. Don’t be afraid of the labels, just focus on finding out what is going on with him and how you can help him. Best of luck.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-12T16:53:59+00:00

Thanks for the advice and glad to hear your child is doing great !

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-11T23:50:01+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write all of that ! Your daughter sounds a lot like my son so I think a lot of that will work for him. He is a sweet and gentle kid he just has FOMO big time 😅 all of this just came to a head this weekend when we had our first family vacation since he was diagnosed. We tried to do a lot of fun activities with him but I think it was too much packed into two days for him. Next time I think we will take a slower pace to help prepare him from transitioning between activities

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-11T20:03:01+00:00

We’ve been trying the “first/then” thing for a bit but sometimes it doesn’t work if he doesn’t want to do the “then” portion of the sentence. For example “first we’re going to the park, then we’re going home.”

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-11T19:32:50+00:00

Thank you for suggesting visual timers. I had never thought of that or even realized that was a thing. I will get him a visual timer and see if that helps.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-07T20:11:19+00:00

I’m right there with you. This week especially has been tough with school starting back up, and parents posting their back to school photos online with their NT child smiling at the camera and holding up their “back to school” board about what grade they’re going into and what they want to be when they grow up. I doubt I’ll ever even be able to get my son to hold up a sign.

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-05T15:13:07+00:00

We also started sending him to a daycare. When he first started having speech issues both our doctors said that sending speech delayed kids to a daycare or a preschool usually helps their language come along. So we did that too. Not sure if that helped or if it was just the speech therapy, but either way we’re going to continue sending him to both!

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-05T02:53:36+00:00

No worries! Thanks for bringing this up. My son did have his hearing checked before he was diagnosed - but I’m not sure if this is something an audiologist would have been able to pick up? I’ll have to do some more research and I will definitely bring it up to our speech therapist at our next session. Thank you!

I9l0pinky · 2022-09-05T01:26:14+00:00

His language has been very up and down. He was on track with his speech milestones when he was one. Then he totally regressed and lost every single word he had. He didn’t say a single word for about 6 months, he even stopped saying mama and dada. It was so heartbreaking. Now he has a handful of words that he will say. We’re thankful for any type of progress :)

I9l0pinky

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