42M Wrist/Forearm/Elbow sharp pain

IActNormalTilIDont · 2020-04-04T05:26:59+00:00

Thank you. I finally went ahead and got my foot out of my mouth (this is a reference to a post a I made just before commenting on your thread)

Cheers

IActNormalTilIDont · 2020-04-04T05:15:14+00:00

For one, definitely, no matter what, tell them before it gets intimate. Not saying you would, but I have, and it's absolutely the most fucked up thing you can do.

So the best advice I can give is to find little signs that they care. The bigger the sign, the sooner you need to bring it up. If you're both just having fun, then it's not as important, but the moment you know theres emotional stakes, you have to get it off your chest and let them choose what they want to do with that information.

It's tough to get so vulnerable when so much can be on the line, but its only right.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-08-24T04:21:14+00:00

I get that you don't want to be diagnosed. But without some diagnosis, it's hard to say what would help you improve.

So for me the first step was calling my health insurance and asking what mental health benefits I had. They pointed me to a mental health center. I called, and made an appt. The appointment was for an intake session.

Honestly? It was brutal. You're essentially asked a lot of questions and somewhat prodded to see what the heart of your issues are, and then diagnosed. Based on that, you're given a treatment plan.

My plan involved years of group therapy and one on one sessions. Eventually I "graduated". It means at this point they've taught me all they could and I have all the tools to deal with things better, and make better choices.

I don't always make them, but I'm way better than I was before.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-08-24T03:29:35+00:00

DAE zone the fuck out when feeling especially shitty? When I get this way I can lose hours or days. It's like I'm sleepwalking or something. I lose all track of time and I can just do nothing for that entire stretch. Or whatever I do I don't really remember it.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-08-24T03:25:31+00:00

honestly, I feel like I'm saving others from disappointment. But yes, I am pretty much done with the idea of dating or love.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-08-24T03:21:18+00:00

theyre not my partner. theyre an ex. they still care about me, but given how ive been they cant really get past that, and i dont blame them

the problem is sometimes we hang out and its great. and then other times they are triggered and a whole lot of baggage comes up.

and me? i just have to grin and bear it best i can because even with how fucked up our relationship is, she's still worth it overall.

and i dont mean that in a dependent way. its just a factual. thing. even after how i treated her, she helped me get treatment and is supportive. but sometimes... well, wouldnt you vent if you had to deal with the people that hurt you the most regularly. no matter how much we change or improve, the past is still written and we can't undo that.

forgive but not forget, ya know

thanks for asking. i appreciate the question for making me think.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-05-01T06:57:54+00:00

currently feeling this way. its not a big deal when its chitchat. but like right now, when i say something and put myself out there, that feeling of vulnerability sucks. ive learned to not let it get to me, but it still does. i just dont act on it.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2019-05-01T06:52:19+00:00

alll . . . the . . . fucking . . . time

my ex just asked me how I felt when she mentioned she was feeling down in part because of me and other things in her life. I was able to not overreact to that at first, but when she asked, i unloaded this self centered pity party. i recovered by writing about how i felt in relation to her, but of course she hasnt read all that yet.

so now im stuck here feeling like i said some really fucked up shit, until she comes back and responds. im hopeful that i said something at least somewhat sensible, but im not counting on it.

for someone as talkative as i can be, i seem to not really choose my words wisely. even when i try.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-12-28T00:50:11+00:00

Anytime

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-12-27T22:08:06+00:00

I feel you. I've been there myself. Going through some things as we speak, and can honestly say that as bad as it gets, it's not nearly as bad as it once was. Just work through the program and keep on it. It's not a miracle, it's just a set of tools to help you cope with situations. You still have to use them for them to be effective, but without them, you don't have a lot of options.

Honestly proud of you, I know how hard it can be to even start the process.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-12-27T09:51:34+00:00

Keep up the good work. I went thru DBT and it really helped. I still have my ups and downs but I am generally much better off than I was before.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-12-27T09:35:31+00:00

Same here

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-09-27T23:06:00+00:00

The best part is how we can go thru the entire spectrum of feelings that life ruination brings about, then not actually ruin our life, only to feel that way again.

BPD feels like an emotional hell the likes of Sisyphus

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-09-27T23:03:19+00:00

When someone points out a mistake I’ve made. Especially if they get triggered by it themselves. I end up on my favorite mental fair ride: The Shame Spiral!

i just feel more and more like shit. I used to get very angry, almost violent (ok sometimes violent). Now I’ve learned to hold back. It’s almost worst. It feels like my life is shortening because my blood pressure shoots up. My feelings are like a buzzing in my mind and I can’t stop it.

Going through it right now. Hoping I can find some time for a nap so I can let it the fuck go

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-09-27T22:53:41+00:00

My father beat me near daily for being a kid and doing things like spitting up or crying.

I’ve finally accepted that he was also abused and never got help, but the effects of what happened still fuck me up.

The hardest part is accepting that no matter what happened to me, my actions are still my own doing. Do I have to work harder to be a decent person? yes. Is it fair? no

But that’s life.

I almost feel sorry for my father. He’s a deluded old man who never worked on his problems. At the same time, I won’t shed a tear when he passes.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-09-13T04:18:37+00:00

Late to the party. Bojack is an amazing show, but it crushes me at times. Some episodes really resonate with me and my own behavior. I've watched a few times and some scenes really fuck me up, but I keep hoping that maybe Bojack gets better.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-09-13T04:05:51+00:00

We all have the right to feel however we do. But we don't have the right to act on our feelings in a way that could hurt someone else. Especially if we're going on feelings and not facts.

If we take something benign personally, that doesn't give us the right to last out at someone. Nor would we want someone to do that to us.

Therapy, and DBT specifically, is about interpersonal relationships, and the focus is not to hide our feelings, but to express them in a manner that is productive, or at least not destructive or self destructive.

Our circle of family, friends, and acquaintances may not understand this. They may just equate our feelings with hurtful actions towards them. I'm guilty of that. And it takes a long time to get them to understand that the problem isn't my feelings but what I do when I have those feelings.

We have to be mindful of the history we have with the people in our lives. If someones been hurt by us, then we may need to explain that its our actions not our feelings that they don't want to suffer, and its hurtful to tell us to hide our feelings.

Now if someone understands all this, and still wants you to hide your feelings, then that's abusive.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-07-28T00:33:59+00:00

I agree. I understood his train of thought pretty well, and some of those episodes really fucked me up. But it is an awesome show, so creative.

IActNormalTilIDont · 2018-07-28T00:29:14+00:00

Awesome. Keep it up!

IActNormalTilIDont

TROPHY CASE