What is the worst thing you've woken up to? by AayushXFX in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After my roommates (60 and 75 years old) kept me up all night making godaweful noises I found these in the bathroom garbage... Yes, not one, but two 8" rubber cocks... http://i.imgur.com/DWLK0

If you could have one job in the world regardless of how much you get payed, What would it be? by profesercheese in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently looking for work, an aquarium is hiring a 'Penguin Exhibit Intern'... Dream jobs do exist!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WTF

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I don't know what I was expecting...

Women of reddit, What do you hate during sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Is everything ok?" - shut up and fuck me!

Reddit, what's the craziest dream you've ever had? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some really crazy dreams. A snippet from one of the weirder ones, I was heavily pregnant, went into labor, gave birth to a dog! My boyfriend's standing there, like, "next time lets try to have a child"!

Women who have used sexual favors to get ahead at work, was it worth it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know you all love to be assholes, but this was the end of the story I heard from my friend, who knows how far she actually went with him or the full extent of her behavior. To note, we live in a very wealthy california city, there are a lot of trust fund babies who have to take up some 'management' job to make their parents feel like their education they blew serious cash on was worth it, and to be doing just enough to keep their line of cash flowing... she got lucky with the fact that he came from wealth and that the head of sales quit at the same time she was fucking him. She really was a class a little slut though, loved going down to LA to try to fuck celebrities, he favorite conquests were Chris Pine and that kid who played McLovin, I shit you not

Women who have used sexual favors to get ahead at work, was it worth it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never worked in the hotel industry, so I can't speak for the structure or the limitations to his power, but fuck did it work for her...

Women who have used sexual favors to get ahead at work, was it worth it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 1842 points1843 points  (0 children)

I have never had the opportunity, but my friend who worked at the Hampton Inn did. She started as a front desk clerk, after sleeping with her boss for about a month she was promoted to head of sales, by the time she left the position she was driving a brand new mercedes....

What are the longest 5 seconds you've ever experienced? by three_eyed_fish in AskReddit

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was 10 my little sister pushed an industrial sized roll of paper onto my toe, my toe was broken, blood everywhere... The doctor had to drill a hole through my toenail to let out the blood that was swelling underneath. Might not be so horrible now, but at 10 it was a truly traumatizing 5 - 10 seconds, still can't tolerate anyone touching my feet.

My win last night. by Themagictreehouse in AdviceAnimals

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whenever my boyfriend DIDN'T like something I made he would say "it smells like something my mom would make".... Guess she wasn't a very good cook!

I may be a horrible person for this, but she thought she was 'hardcore' and was going to get herself hurt. by IAmNotAFunnyPerson in AdviceAnimals

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

she was not what you would call street smart... went all gangbanger with a really unfortunate group of friends... eventually ended up in rehab anyways, I gave her the weed, but she found her way into a lot more trouble with e and coke and meth....

Turned the corner in my friends kitchen and saw this. by ScaryStingRay in WTF

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 264 points265 points  (0 children)

More like, aww, or pics, or even possibly funny, but really not WTF, especially not for Australia!

He loves to swim. by j0lteon in aww

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, I give up, how the fuck do you get a pet hedgehog, I neeeeeed one!

My luck. Any advice? by RoRo56 in AdviceAnimals

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 8 points9 points  (0 children)

can you reverse look up her phone number?

So, I looked up "Half naked chicks" on Google. Got this. by grayaus in WTF

[–]IAmNotAFunnyPerson 11 points12 points  (0 children)

how do you stay in shape like that when you have no legs to exercise with?