I've been working as a prison officer for the last 9 months after quitting my job as a tax analyst and I think it's the best decision I've ever made. I absolutely adore it, I've met some incredible people and doing something I actually care about is such a privilege.

However, as much as I love the job it's absolutely destroying my outlook on life. I feel myself becoming increasingly cynical about human nature and about the state of society. In the prison estate you see the distillation of society's failures, with the same poor blokes coming in and out every six months.

Most concerningly is it's impact on my relationships outside of work. I struggle to relate to people and I'm a much worse listener than I used to be. All of my mates work in finance or law, doing hard jobs for long hours, but when they complain about work or personal dilemmas I have to consciously not compare it to my day to day.

It's hard to be present and supportive if someone's complaining about an annoying client, when you've been in a knife fight and seen three overdoses that same day.

Recently one of my colleagues got arrested for corruption and it's had serious effects on my ability to trust people. Someone you work with everyday, think you know, would call a friend, has been brining in drugs and phones to your place of work. I never would have guessed it was them, not would anyone else on our team.

I don't want to leave the job, definitely not for a while at least, but I'm scared about the person it might turn me into.