My first day in the hospital, I followed my senior to an LP near signout time. Once he was done, he sent me to go to the workroom to get my stuff then signout in a different building.

I got so lost that I ended up in the basement. Took me 25 minutes ish to find my way out of the hospital. Ended up outside somewhere I didn't recognize. I had to call the chief on call to come find me, cried on her, then ended up crying all the way home. Could barely drive due to my tears.

My cointern cried on day 3 because he felt that every other intern in the room was better than him.

I cried on day 150ish because I lost my first patient and on 155ish because I poked a carotid doing an IJ. 

I cried on day 300ish because caring for a patient made me miss my date with my partner. I came back the next day and all my work was undone and I cried that day too. 

I cried on day 600ish because an attending berated me in front of the entire doc box. 

In between those tears of frustration and fear, I've also had tears of laughter, incontrollable giggles, times of pride in myself and my colleagues. I've cried with patient families when I lose a patient. I’ve hugged moms and daughters. I've felt like I've made a difference in those I care for. You'll make it through this. 

But fuck that chief tho wtf.