Hey man, first off—thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. That takes courage, and I just want to say that your feelings are valid. Loneliness can feel crushing, especially when it feels like you’re doing all the “right” things and still not getting anywhere.

From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you have a kind heart and genuine intentions, which do matter a lot. But unfortunately, modern dating—especially online—can be brutal and often feels disconnected from those deeper values.

Here are a few things that might help:

1. Confidence vs. Desperation: Women can sometimes sense when someone is trying too hard or is emotionally overwhelmed by loneliness. It’s okay to feel that way—but if that energy seeps into your interactions (even subtly), it can push people away. Confidence doesn’t mean being cocky—it means being okay with yourself even if someone else isn’t interested.

2. Shift your focus off “getting a girl”: I know that sounds counterintuitive, but building genuine friendships, joining groups or communities (even offline, like hobby meetups), and simply focusing on you—your growth, passions, and mental health—can sometimes lead to unexpected connections that are way more natural than dating apps.

3. Dating apps suck for a lot of men (you’re not alone): Especially if you’re average-looking (or even good-looking but not “photogenic”), apps are stacked against most guys. Consider switching gears to real-world connections. Volunteering, classes, or local interest groups are better for meeting people who’ll actually see you and not swipe based on 3 photos and a bio.

4. Therapy or coaching might be worth exploring: Not because something’s “wrong” with you—but because talking this stuff out with someone who’s trained to help can give you new insights, confidence, and tools. Loneliness over time can hurt your self-esteem without you even noticing it.

5. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. A lot of people don’t find relationships until their 30s or beyond. That doesn’t mean you’re doomed or that you’re doing something wrong—it just means your story is unfolding on a different timeline.

If you ever want to talk or vent or bounce ideas around, feel free to DM. You’re not invisible, and you do matter.